What You Want Me To

Love was a simple thought for most people. Boy meets girl, they lock eyes, and they instantly fall in love. They'd go out on a few dates, advance to the boyfriend and girlfriend stage, get engaged, marry each other, and the have kids. It was a cycle that most everyone went through in life. A circle that consisted of being able to care, trust, and believe in someone. Those three things were what completed the cycle. Those three things were what I was incappable of doing.

I cared about what I did for a loving, and I cared for my mom, dad, and brother. But anything else was nothing but dirt. People eventually stopped trying to be my friend, and I stopped caring.

Trust was something that didn't come easily to me. After my parents seperated and got a divorce, I didn't trust either of them. I cared for them, but I didn't trust them. If they couldn't stay together, "Forever and ever" like they promised when I was younger, what was left to trust?

Believing in someone was a difficult task when no one believed in me. Nobody that I knew never went out of their way to say, "I believe in you." Or even show me they did for that matter. Why believe in people that didn't believe in me?

The cycle of love was a vicious cycle I vowed to never get into to. One I would never allow myself to be apart of. I didn't need to fall in love. I didn't need someone to hug and kiss and whisper cute things to. I was perfectly content on my own.

Or so I thought