Don't Know How to Stop

“I've been a mess since you stayed,
i've been a wreck since you changed,
don't let me get in your way.

I love the way it hurts,
all the things you do to me“

Honestly, the whole thing is fucked up.
He hates it, I mean, how in the world did this happened?
He didn't want it, still don't, because it makes his insides hurt and some days he just want to lash out - punch, scream and cry - anything to make it stop.
And while Sam was going insane it all seemed like some kind of game for Ben.