Don't Know How to Stop

It was hard to open his eyes, he really didn’t want to wake up. But his cell phone apparently thought differently when it gave a hell of a noise. Grumbling and swearing the brunette opened his eyes while he fumbled after his phone. Once he found it his eyes squinted as he read the name that flashed on the screen; Heath.


"What?" He snapped and turned around as he lay on his back.
"Someone's grumpy." His friend chuckled, which made him even angrier.
"I'm gonna hang up on you if you do not fucking tell me what you want” Sam threatened and he could imagine the amused smile that Heath wore.
"I wanted to see if you want to come with us for some Mexican food."
"Why the fuck would I want to eat Mexican food in the morning dumbass"
He heard laughter, lots of laughter, which made him realize that the conversation was on speaker.
"It's lunch." Heath said and Sam groaned. Apparently Brittany had gone to work without waking him, not that it surprised him.
"So, what do you think?"
"Yeah, just pick me up. Brittany probably took the car. "
"Be ready in 20." Sam did not even respond to that before the call ended.



With slow movements he got up and walked towards the bathroom to take a quick shower. Within 15 minutes he was clean and he was completely dry (except his hair), and went to the bedroom to put on his clothes. There was not much to choose from when he didn’t own that much, it was hard to lug around them when they went on tour.

Eventually, he chose a pair of dark blue skinny jeans that showed off his slim legs, but in these jeans they appeared muscly, with a loose white tank top with a trendy motive on, and some underwear & socks. Sam used the towel to try to dry up his hair as best he could by rubbing it against his head.
He managed to put his cellphone, money and a pack of cigarettes in his pockets, when he heard a car honking, signaled that his friends were outside waiting for him. However, he didn’t know who was going to eat lunch with them more than Heath. Before he left he took a black beanie as he tucked in his back pocket, he would have to use it when his hair is dry, and the keys. Within a minute or so was the front door locked, and he sat in the car where Heath and his girlfriend Claire and Finn were.

Car ride was pretty quiet, except for the radio that played a couple of quiet old rock songs and Heath & Claire's small talk. Not that Sam noticed it, everything was like a distant noise in his ears and his eyes were glued to the window.



He was stuck in his daydream until they sat at their table at the restaurant, everything was just a blurr; hell, he didn’t even remember that he ordered something so he was pretty surprised when he awoke from his thoughts and a plate of food was served in front of him. Surprised, he looked up and he met Finn’s gaze, who wore an amused grin. He turned back to his food and started to eat, he barely looked up the rest of the meal.
At some point we had Claire disappeared leaving the boys alone, insanely full and with a glass of beer in their hands.



”Ey, what’s up?” Finn asked and leaned back in the chair.
”Huh?” Sam’s eyes diverted from his stare from the beer to his friends.
”You’re acting fucking weird dude, what’s wrong?” Heath nodded and sent a curious look to him but Sam just shrugged his shoulders and drank a little more from his beer.
”Nothin’.”
”It’s Brittany, isn’t?”

The silence that overcame the table was enough for the two guys to take as a confirmation.
”You can talk to us Sammy; we’re your buddies alright” Finn said and leaned over the table to ruffle his curly hair. He then noticed that it was dry so Sam was quick to put his black beanie on, an attempt to cover the most of the curls. He wasn’t very fond of them.

”Things have been a bit difficult lately, that’s all.” He mumbled and the corners of his mouth pulled up into a weak smile. The smile didn’t exactly fool them, but how could he try to fool his friends when he didn’t believe it himself.
”Becausee?”
”Because she thinks I’m ignoring her.” He said with a sigh.
”Are you?” Finn asked.
”I guess I am.”
”Oh”
There were a few minutes of silence.
”Maybe you need some time apart?” Heath suggested which made Sam let out a dry laugh.
”We’re always apart, now is the time to be with each other and we fill that time with fights.”

But is sounded nice though, the atmosphere in their apartment was too hostile for him to bear, so maybe leaving for a while was a good thing? Of course there was a chance that their relationship would be for the worst if he did leave. But it sounded so tempting. Maybe he could go and visit his family? The trip maybe could clear his thoughts a bit and solve a few of his problems that were around him for the moment. A smile took its place on his lips when he made his decision, and after that his lunch became much more bearable.



”Yeah, you sure about this mate? It’s all good?” Sam said once again which made the person in the phone groan loudly.
”Stop nagging and I’ll change my fucking mind Sam. Yeah, you can come stay with us for a while idiot.” James replied, slightly annoyed but he still wore an amused grin that Sam could hear through the phone.
The brunette was about to thank him once again but he froze when he heard the front door open; Brittany was home.

”Thanks mate, I’ll call you later” After that he closed the call to mentally prepare himself to tell her the news. Inside his head he had imagined that she would scream, throw things and it just would end terrible; which he kind of understood. He’d been here for a month, or more, and was already leaving for God known how long.


”Sam?” He heard her familiar voice before he saw her and he nervously tugged on his shirt.
”Why are your bags packed?” With big eyes she stood by the door into the living room and stared at him.
”Um, I’m going away for a while.” Just before she had the chance to complain, or yell at him, he went towards Britt and gingerly but his hand on her soft cheek with his thumb over her lips. ”Don’t. Let me explain okey?” She nodded and his other hand lay on her waist as he made their bodies come closer.
”Things have been shit lately, it’s no secret. And it’s because of me I know that, so I thought I’d go visit the family for a while; to try and sort stuff out okey?”

As he gazed upon her face he tried to read the emotions that swirled in her eyes. Disappointment, anger and hurt (along with a few others he couldn’t figure out) were the ones he saw. After a little while she sighed and nodded, agreeing with every word he said. Which made him relived, he had thought that this would get so much nastier; it made him realize that he sometimes forgot how forgiving and understanding she really were.

”When are you leaving?” Her thin arms sneaked around his waist and she fingered on the end of his baseball shirt.
”Tomorrow. Gonna take the next flight to Texas first and visit some of the guys before we go to the UK.” Once again she nodded and he lifted her chin so she looked at his face, rather than the floor, to press their lips together.
Neither one of them said anything more; instead they shared a few more kisses. For that night they just relaxed and pushed away all the negative thoughts that lingered in their minds.



In the morning they both were standing inside the airport, holding hands, and staring at the board that had all the times on the flights. His flight wasn’t leaving for a while but you had to get there early and check in though, so here they were. He glanced at her and tightened the grip her hand before letting it go.

“I’ll see you soon, love.” Sam said, knowing that she hated when people said goodbyes and loved when he called her ‘love’. He guessed it had something to do with his accent and all.
“Yeah, just call or text me once in a while Sammy, promise me that.” Looking into her beautiful green eyes he couldn’t say no and nodded.
“Promise, love you.” He let his lips meet hers before he went the familiar walk up to turn his very large bag in and go through security and stuff. The usual.

And as always after he waited those painful minutes he sat on the plane to take him to his friends, he was scared for life as the big crowded plane lifted into the sky. He hated planes, he really does but it’s the most effective way to travel. He just wished he had someone with him so he could squish the living shit out their arms or something.



It took about an hour, more or less, to get to the ground again and he was seconds from drop to the ground and give it sloppy kisses. He wanted to roll around the dirt like dog – he really was that happy to be safe and sound on the ground.

He had told James when he was going to be arriving so he just hoped that the fucker had remembered this; he was not wasting money on a cab or his energy to walk all the way to the apartment; that he didn’t even know where it was.

With his enormous bag in his hand, he wished he had been smart enough to take a backpack instead, he looked around for the very long drummer but his eyes landed on a big sign with crappy handwriting that said “FAGGOT” along with other people that held signs – of course their signs had last names on it.
Sam’s eyes traveled down to the person who held it and came across he person that actually caused all his problems; Ben.