Love Is a Word Used Much Too Often

My mother tells me every morning that she loves me, but does she mean it? What caused her to feel a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person the second before I left for school? Was it love or a maternal instinct that said she had to protect her child? My father tells me the same every night before I go to my room to sleep. Was that love, too? What was so alarming that he had to tell me he loved me before I went to sleep? Did he think I wouldn’t wake up?

People tell me I think too much. I think too much, and I don’t feel half as much as I should. Maybe, just maybe, they were right, but things were far more complicated than these weak minded people could believe. I knew things they don’t. I know people who could make their worst nightmares come to life. So, pardon me when I question the ideas of humans, when in reality we don’t even understand ourselves. Things were much too complicated for even me, the thinker of the family, to comprehend. What really was the meaning of feelings, when you couldn’t control them? I was taught only to use what you can control. I was only listening to the wise words of my father.

Maybe, they just didn’t understand. That seemed more likely than not. My life wasn’t much of their business anyways. A few rumors start to fly, and suddenly people think they know things that they don’t. They start to think they know things that they should just stay out of.

I wasn’t being rude, or cold. No, I was being honest. My life was something far too demanding for me to spend time with worrying about someone else. I already spent too many moments worrying about when something would come out of the shadows.

It wasn’t something I was hiding from someone. I was an honest person. If you wanted to know, all you had to do was ask. No one ever asked though. It was because of those rumors. The rumors that flew around saying that I worked with some of the nastiest people in town, the monsters, the witches, the warlocks, and let’s not forget the demons that control them all, and the one that said I was personally tied to one of the meanest of them all. I never denied the rumors, but I never said they were true. People just started to assume, and you know what they say about assuming things.

My eyes shifted from the cold metal railing to the city lights. I would have to go back in eventually. I always had to go back in, but I never wanted to. The building underneath my feet with the bass so violent you could feel it in your bones always managed to send shivers down my spine, the type of shivers I would never be able to suppress.

The familiar taping sound of my nails against the steal was the only thing I could hear in this part of town. Traffic, horns, laughter, talking, screaming, crying those were all human things. They weren’t done in this shady section of the massive city. No, this area had only very few humans, humans that would follow the rules. I followed them well. That’s why my heart was still beating in my chest, and my brain was firmly in between the walls of my skull.

The last of the smoke skidded out of my lungs, flying into the air until it dispersed. Some things should be kept simple, like a cigarette. It should never become healthier or more deadly than it already was. It should always stay the same, just like my preaching mother, and my broke father. Those things in my life would never change. My mother would pray at night to a god that could never exist, and my father would continue to dream of earning a few more bucks to get me out of this place. I was never leaving. It was cute that they still wished I could, but they didn’t realize just what I did.

I walked back into the crowded club. The red tinted lights dim over the dancing creatures’ heads, a certain fog looming in the air, like smoke except these things didn’t ever need the addictive drug like a human. Bodies were grinding on bodies, sweat covering every inch that was visible and every inch that wasn’t, their heartbeats in tune with the music blaring above them.

I went to the bar. That was where I’m sure someone would grab my attention. My job here was very simple, keep the clients happy. It didn’t matter what they wanted or who they wanted, you got it for them, and you better get it fast because they things weren’t missing around. They wanted what they wanted, and they wanted it now. My life was constantly on the line. I was glad I got this job when I did. Only a few days later, and the spot for a manager would be filled, the only other job in town being a feeder or a prostitute. I was willing to do neither, especially not for these things. There was only one creature I was subjected to doing that for, but then again, everyone did what he wanted. And, they did it happily.

Apologizing when I ran into a witch by the name of Shadow Mist, I flagged down the bartender, John, long enough to ask if anyone was asking for me.

“I don’t know, Axel,” he replied. “You’re going to have to ask the other manager.”

I sighed, but nodded my head otherwise. The other manager, who was equal in position to me, was not nearly as much fun as I would have hoped. She was bitter and cruel, only ever worrying about herself. I took responsibility for all of the employees working under me, and I would risk my neck to apologize when they did something wrong. She wouldn’t even give you the time of day if you were bleeding from a gash in your skull.

Her high pitched shriek was enough to tell me she was with the VIP’s upstairs. That laugh was the only thing you could hear over the electronic sound. When her frail, yet curvy figure came into my sight, I could tell she was with one of our better paying customers. His fingers in her hair, his lips on her neck no doubt doing something my mother would call sinful. But, my mother wasn’t here, and she didn’t have a say what a manger would have to do to keep someone happy.

I cleared my throat. “Excuse me, sir. May I borrow Lucy for a moment?” I asked politely, my hands behind my back in a sign of respect. One look from this man was all it took to end my life. He growled but otherwise released her. She gave him a sultry look before walking over to me, her hips swinging more than what was deemed healthy. Like I said, no one knew what we managers did to keep clients happy.

“What do you want?” she snapped through gritted teeth. “Don’t you see I’m with a paying customer?”

“Yes,” I replied. “I see that, but I have a job to do here, as well. John told me to come to you for my next assignment.”

She flipped here hair over her shoulder, displaying a serious of what can only be described as impressive hickies. “Whatever. Dagon is in with a feeder at the moment, and you know he will be asking for you once he is finished. So, it is best to beat him to it,” she answered than walking back to the warlock she was previously with.

I walked over to the only other area people were allowed to be upstairs without having an employee with them. This room wasn’t necessarily darker than the general area of the club, but it was only lit my candles. I think it was to help the feeders from see the things eating them.

The door opened without a sound, and I saw the gorgeous creature humans call Dagon. Shoulder length, curly hair darker than midnight of a full moon was pulled back with a red bow. His pale, flawless skin was covered from his elbow down in what could only be called human remains. There was even blood on his sharp jaw and tough looking features. Humans had every reason to fear this demon. The black eyes that most humans would describe as horrific and horrid were fixed on the cowering human in front of him. He was in a crouched position. No doubt the human pulled away from him while he was using their blood for his nutrition. Something I tried to strictly warn them against doing, especially when a demon decided they were thirsty enough for a snack with flesh and bones.

A deep growl escaped from the bottom of his throat as he stared over at the tiny looking female. She was an experienced feeder. Her career here was going so well. It really was a shame.

His bones cracked as he bent further forward, reaching his arm out, his finger motioning for her to come back over. She looked terrified, frozen in her spot as she stared at the scene in front of her. His fingers stopped moving, and he pushed his palm outwards. The poor girl rammed into the wall nearly two feet behind her, the sound of her skull making a sickening crack made the demon show his blood stained teeth in a smirk.

He worked his way over to her, ever so slowly, watching as she squirmed to get free from her invisible bindings. She screamed in terror as one of his razor sharp nails went down from the base of her neck to her belly. Blood and much more poured from the massive wound. Her terror and fear filled eyes and yells only made him that much more excited. He was trying to make her suffer as much as he could before enough blood would seep out of her body to make her die, and oh boy, did he succeed. Cracks of bones, of teeth, of joints sounded loudly throughout the room. Each one of her marrow filled stilts came falling down as her body seemed to crumble beneath her, every bone broken, every joint out of place, every life support now cut. The only sound left was her falling to the floor, still choking on her own blood. The stench of death started to stink up the room. Feeders didn’t normally die, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. They knew what they were here to do, and they were here to follow the rules. If they broke one, they knew it was their life or mine. I tried my best to save them, but it didn’t always work.

He turned towards me, licking his fingers. As slowly as he made his way towards the dead girl, he made his way towards me. When he got close enough, he lifted his hand in front of me. Knowing what he wanted, I drug my tongue over his long fingers, attempting to gag on the blood and entrails I knew I was consuming. Once he was satisfied with that, he replaced his fingers with his cool lips; again, all I could taste was death.

“Hm, so nice to see you again, my love,” he breathed out. Goosebumps rose were his fiery breath ghosted over, and I tried not to shudder.

“You have only been away three days, Dagon.” I replied. He was still so close. It was suffocating, but my breath never seemed to leave me. I liked it like this. That feeling made it seem that I was completely okay with this, when in reality I knew there was nowhere more exciting than with him, nothing more thrilling than seeing him with that familiar look in his eyes that told me exactly what he wanted, but I always made him ask for it. We were at the point where I was allowed to make demands, too. He may be a demon, but I still had back bone that could match no other.

He hummed. “Three days much too long.” His hands ran down my back, now staining my white shirt, as he pulled me ever closer to him because the space in between us before was just too much for him. My chest was flat against his as he could feel my heart beat, and I would feel the absence of his.

“It could have been four,” I replied. I wasn’t going to give in to him just yet. He liked the chase. I knew that. He knew that, and that was what kept him coming back to me and not someone else, like Lucy.

“If it was four, you would have been seeing the inside of my house.” He said calmly. I knew what he was implying. He has implied it more than once. It has come to my attention that the subject of me actually being his mate, of sorts, was coming around more often these days.

“That is, if you could find me.” I retorted.

He smirked. “Oh, darling, we both know I am more than capable of finding something as simple as a human, especially you.”

“Oh,” I replied. “And why is that?” My fingers trailed up his frozen, yet toned chest until they screwed into his hair, pulling it free from its confines. He didn’t seem to mind all that much. I was allowed to get away with things like this now. A year ago, I wouldn’t even try.

“Because a human as delicious smelling as you is very easy to find.” He said, the corners of his lips pulling up into a smile that only very few ever see. “That,” he continued. “And, all I have to do is ask a human around here, and they would tell me. People seem to be afraid of me.”

“I wonder why?” I said. My eyes shifted behind him to the dead human girl.

“Hm,” he hummed. “Besides that and it was her own fault.”

It was her fault, yes, but his anger got away from him. There was no real reason to kill her. “Yes, but now I have to break my back to find someone to replace her. And, the only ones who even dare dream of replacing a feeder are druggies, but I hear that people don’t like to eat druggies. Apparently, they don’t taste all that great.” I mused, my fingers still messing with his soft locks.

“You wouldn’t have to,” he replied. “If you just accepted my offer already.”

I nodded my head. “One day,” I said, giving him a quick kiss. “I might just take you up on that offer, but not today.”

Love. People threw that word around too much. They didn’t really mean it, but I seemed to get a strange sensation from this terrible creature, this horrendous demon, this malevolent killer, and that word used too often was the only way I could really describe it. People didn’t know what we managers had to do to please our clients, but occasionally, it pleased us as well.