All He Needed Was the Crowd

The screams of the crowd were enough to excite him. The melding bodies were enough to make him lust for that closeness. The heart beats that all seemed to join were enough to make him light headed. The grinding forms were enough to remind him what he was, who he was. The crowd, they were all he needed. That was all. And, that was what he tried to tell himself.

Max jumped with the crowd as the beat of the song picked up. These people, these souls, they made him forget all of those things he tried never to remember. They were all he needed.

The song ended, and he ran back on stage, mic in hand. A hundred eyes turned back to him, and they screamed. He was here to make an appearance as his publicist would say. Maxwell Green was a name most Las Vegas natives knew at this point. He was one of the best DJ’s in town, and tonight he decided to host a little friendly competition, nothing too drastic. He just wanted to see who his upcoming competition for gigs would be, but so far he need not worry. He was going to be doing just fine for a long while.

“How are you fuckers doing?” He screamed into the microphone, only to get a reply a thousand times louder from the crowd. They were all he needed. “That’s what I thought! Let’s get these teens’ heart beating faster. What do you think?” Another roar from the crowd. “Well, dance to this beat you mother fuckers! Coming now is a little known guy named, DT3!” He ran off of the stage, quickly giving a thumb up to the guy.

He took his place on the balcony where all of the drinkers were, the people who didn’t care that much about the crowd, just the scene. Max lived for the crowd. They were all he needed.

His eyes scanned the people who were too busy with their drinks to notice him. He sighed in relief. There was a thought that his ears might go out by the night because he left his ear plugs at the house. So sense there were no screaming fan, he would be fine for a few more moments. His eyes landed on one couple though, one couple that caught his eye.

He couldn’t fucking believe it. Ronnie fucking Radke had decided to make an appearance in this whole in the wall. What the serious fuck? He wasn’t supposed to be here. He was supposed to disappear. Max never wanted to see that fuckers face as long as he lived. He didn’t, just didn’t.

They had a past, a long complicated past. Ronnie was yet another DJ in this ever so massively small city. They constantly fought for the same shows, the same venues, and the same breathing space. No! Max screamed in his head. That was in the past. You have to forget about that. He left you. He left you a long time ago, and you are over it. That was a long time ago. Max didn’t need Ronnie anymore. All he needed was the crowd, just the crowd.

His eyes would have moved on right then, moved onto something more exciting like the DJ currently playing a song that wasn’t half bad, but then he noticed something.

The picture flew in his head faster than he could stop it. Her blonde hair mixing with his black, his tattooed fingers running over her pale, colorless skin, her moans of pleasure, his groans, the sweat that covered their bodies, the intimate position they were caught in, the horror on his face when he walked into his apartment to see that in his bed. He could see it all, and he hated every second of it. That was one thing he couldn’t forget. He couldn’t, but oh god, did he want to.

Her blue eyes met his for a moment, and a smirk spread across her perfect fucking lips. Max has never hated such a beautiful person. She knew what she did. She knew the second she seduced the only person Max had ever really loved. She knew, and she loved it, just like she loved it now.

Her blonde ringlets cascaded down her shoulders, and she constantly pushed them back. She was a singer, nothing big time, but she was trying. What was her stage name again? Oh right, the Destroyer. It suited her quite nicely, but no one really knew who she was. Her songs were cliché, bland, fake, just like her.

Max waited for the song to end, so he could go back to his life support, go back to the crowd. They were all he needed. God, how long is this song? He screamed in his head. He wanted to leave, to go, and go far away. He wished he never started this contest, never agreed to this. He was doing just fine, business was booming, why did he have to go out? He could’ve stayed in. All he wanted right now was to have stayed in.

She kept staring, he knew she was. He could feel the eyes on the back of his head. Oh god, just leave me alone! He screamed in his head. He didn’t expect this. He needed time to even begin to deal with this kind of thing. What he thought he was going to do was just pump some boys and girls up, that was it. Before he knew it, there was movement to his left. God, she was coming over! Why was she trying to torture him like this? He did nothing to her. She ruined his life, not the other way around. If he wanted to forget about it, he has the right doesn’t he?

“Max? Is that you?” She questioned with a fake smile. He guessed we were at the part where the stomach acid finds a new way to make him get sick.
He tried to smile, he truly did, but it came out as more of a grimace. “Tiffany, how nice to see you again.” He choked out. The song had to be over soon, and then he could go hide out in the back. He could hear the music from there.

“Jeez, how long has it been?” She asked that smile still there. Max has never wanted to smack someone so bad. That smile, it taunted him, reminded him that she was happy with the love of his life, the love he would never get back. It reminded him that he lost, and she won.

He shrugged. “I don’t know, a while.”

“Three months and nineteen days.” Another voice said. Max looked behind the petite woman to see Ronnie.

He gulped. “Yeah, that sounds about right.” He responded. I sound so pathetic, he thought. He assumed when this moment came, he would have enough of a back bone to make both of them feel as bad as he did. All of those late nights waking up with tears running down his face, the times when he didn’t want to leave his new, ugly place because he knew they were out there somewhere, when he couldn’t stand to be near anyone happy because he wasn’t, yeah, he wanted them to feel all of that.

“It’s been a while. How have you been?” Ronnie asked, pulling a seat next to Max out, Tiffany seating right by his side. She tried to grab his hand, but Ronnie pulled it away. Max didn’t notice though.

Max shifted away from him, and there was a look in Ronnie’s eyes, guilt, maybe. He didn’t know this person. He thought he did, but he was wrong, so wrong. “I’ve been . . . good, yeah, really good. Work has just sky rocketed, and the fans just are amazing. Everything’s been great. How about you?”

“It’s going.” Ronnie shrugged. “Gigs are good, though I’ve lost some to you recently.”

Max chuckled slightly. “Yeah, you’ve taken some of mine, too, so don’t even start.”

“I’m sure.” Ronnie replied.

The silence kicked in, the silence of not knowing what to say but knowing you wanted to say something. Max wanting to scream at Ronnie. Ronnie wanting nothing more than to talk to him. There were so many things left unsaid. Neither of them really got closure from what had happened. Max avoided Ronnie like the plague. He tried to apologize for days, weeks, but Max wasn’t having any of that. He packed all of his stuff when he knew Ronnie was going to be gone, and Ronnie hasn’t seen him until know. There was nothing more that Ronnie wanted besides one moment of Max’s time. Seeing him now just made his heart beat a little bit faster.

But, Tiffany was still in the picture, and there was no way Max was ever going to even look at Ronnie with her there. He hated her. Everyone knew that by now. Tiffany, all she did was ruin things. She was ruining this perfect night for Max, the night of just him and the crowd. The crowd wasn’t saving him from this. She was ruining the one thing that had never left him.

The silence echoed louder when the song finally ended. Thank the fucking god! Max screamed in his head. “Excuse me; I have a competition to host.” He said quickly before leaving. He didn’t want to say good bye. He just wanted to leave.

Max ran back to the stage with the blinding light and the screaming fans. That emptiness from a moment ago left and was replaced by that feeling of ecstasy. “What did you think?” He lifted his hand to his ear as they cheered. “Good thing you liked it because I swear he is the homeless guy outside of my apartment.” They laughed. They laughed, and it reminded him of a certain female laugh, a laugh he hated more than anything. Anger started to fester in his core. An anger that was telling him what he really needed to do was just not to look strong, but to get some fucking revenge. Revenge that was well fucking deserved.

“Well, that is the end of our little shenanigan, but I have some good news. You fuckers know a little known DJ called Ronnie fucking Radke, right?” He asked with a smirk. He could see Ronnie’s reaction now. The response from the crowd was what he hoped it was. “That’s what I thought. Well, he’s right up there.” Max pointed to the balcony where he could see the shapes of Ronnie and his girlfriend. “And, you know he just loves fans, so you all should stop by before heading on your wait out. Just remember mother fuckers, you don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here! G’night!” He screamed before he quickly left the stage.

He couldn’t help but smile as he exited through the back of the shitty venue, a cigarette being placed in between his lips. God that felt good! He thought. Max should try revenge more often. Ronnie would be wrapped up for hours with that shit. It wasn’t absolutely perfect, but it was a damn good start. He leaned against the wall of the building, breathing in his cancer stick.

Minutes passed, maybe hours, he didn’t know. He just waited, waited and thought. There was no where he really wanted to be, so he just stayed where he was. Who cared that his knees were going stiff? Who cares that the bitter Las Vegas nights made his nose turn red? Who the fuck cares? Because he sure doesn’t.

“What the fuck?” Someone yelled. Max shifted his gaze from his third fag to the man standing next to the door.

“What are you talking about?” Max asked Ronnie. It was more a mumble because he didn’t bother to take out the cig from his mouth.

“You know damn well what I’m talking about.” He spat back.

Max took a deep breath and shrugged. “You deserved it.” He retorted.

“What?” Ronnie asked obviously confused. Was he that easily forgotten? Max thought. Or did he never really care?

“Do you still think about me in bed?” Max asked. “Does the thought of me still make you sweat? Because I hope to god she was worth it because you fucking know I got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, and a way better fuck than she does.”

“Max-“

“No, Ronnie,” Max interrupted. “We aren’t going to talk about this. I don’t ever want to fucking talk about this. You had me, you really did, and you just threw me away. Do you know how fucking bad that hurts?” His voice cracked.

“Please, Max-“

“I said no!” Max screamed. “I was the best you were ever going to have. You ruined this, not me, so now it’s my turn to leave you.” He turned to walk on his shaky legs.

“Well, you just fucking wait?! My god, we haven’t seen each other in three fucking months, and you won’t even give me three minutes?” Ronnie yelled.

Max froze in shock. Ronnie never acted like this before. “What?” He asked.

“I have been trying to explain what happened for over three months, and you have never given me the time of day. So, you are going to fucking to listen to me this time!” He demanded, and Max stayed because for god’s sake, he wouldn’t leave after that. “I tried to tell you this a hundred times. What happened with Tiffany was a fucking mistake. It never should have happened, and I was so fucking drunk when that happened, I probably would have slept with anyone and thought it was you. I have never thought of anyone besides you since the day we got together, and my god, losing you was the biggest mistake of my life. And, I regret it every fucking day.”

Max rubbed his temples. He didn’t expect this. He wanted Ronnie to tell him that he was worthless, that he could never love him. That would have been so much simpler, but he didn’t say that, did he? No, he told him what in the back of his mind he was hoping for, but he knew it would only cause more problems. “This doesn’t excuse what you did, Ronnie.”

“I know it doesn’t, and I’m not asking for that. All I want is for you to give me another chance. There is no one in the entire world that I would rather be with.” Ronnie pleaded.

Max looked Ronnie in the eyes. He looked for deceit, lies, anything, but he didn’t get it. “Then why are you here with her?” He questioned.

“She just called me up out of the blue, and told me that there was a great show tonight. I swear to god I had no idea what her intentions were.” He replied.

Max didn’t know what to do. He just didn’t. The crowd was all he needed. That was it, but was it all he wanted?