Wanted

True to her word, after she’d gotten back to New York, met up with the rest of the band and practiced a bit for the concert the next night, Eliza was sitting in her pajamas at five o’clock in the evening with a bottle of beer in her hand on the couch. The television was turned on but she wasn’t paying attention to it. She lifted her phone off of her stomach, pushed a button, saw she had nothing new, pressed the lock button again and set it back on her stomach. She awkwardly took the final sip of her beer and set it on the coffee table in front of her. She closed her eyes and sunk deeper into the couch.

On the plane, Arin had confessed to her that he was ready to break up with Emily; he just wasn’t sure how to do it. Eliza knew the perfect way and had called Dominic and Hunter to tell them to meet at the studio. Once they were there, Hunter and Dominic had easily agreed to help, considering the remarks Emily had made about Eliza and to Thomas. While there, they went through the setlist for the next night and ran through a few of the songs just to be sure everything was going to be okay. They had soundcheck at three the next day, but one more practice never hurt anyone.

From there, Eliza had said goodbye to everyone and made her way through the huge city she now called home towards her apartment. Inside, she dumped the contents of her suitcase out, put everything away, took a shower, started a load of clothes and made something for lunch. She braided her hair to the side and pulled on her favorite Metallica shirt, ready to get comfortable.

Putting her jewelry away, she came across her engagement ring from Brian. She paused for a minute, took it off the chain she used to wear it on and slipped it on her ring finger of her left hand. She flexed her hand and held it out to look at it. It was such a beautiful ring and it had fit perfectly. Brian had never asked her size; he just knew it would fit.

Sighing, she took off the ring and put it back inside her jewelry box before closing it. She pulled on a pair of socks and headed downstairs to the couch where she was currently dozing.

She’d been asleep for an hour when she suddenly jerked away. She wasn’t sure what woke her up but she knew there was no going back to sleep. Groaning, she sat up and looked at her television. A black and white film was playing with the sound down low as Mildred Pierce talked about buying a building for her restaurant. She remembered this movie as being one of her mothers’ favorite movies when she was younger. She smiled at the memory of her being completely bored while her mother sat, enraptured by Joan Crawford vying for her independence.

She stood up, stretched, popped her knuckles and neck and walked around her living room a few times. Her phone chirped and she walked back to the couch, picking it up. Annisa asked what she was doing, to which she replied pacing her apartment. She dropped the phone back on the couch as inspiration struck and she moved to the kitchen to pick up her guitar case. She walked back into the living room, set her case down and went to her office area for some paper. She came back and sat down between the couch and coffee table, the pencil in her hand. She picked up her phone as it chirped again, and she couldn’t even remember what Annisa’s text said thirty seconds after she’d read it because she was so consumed with her inspiration.

She had a complete verse and some of the guitar done by the time Annisa and Wiki walked into her apartment. She didn’t even glance up as she heard the lock turn; she knew Annisa was the only one who had a key to her apartment and would be coming in.

“Uh, I thought I told you to be ready to go to dinner,” Annisa said as she walked into the living room.

“Huh?” Eliza said, looking up from the piece of paper she was writing on.

“I told you we were gonna go out for dinner and to be ready.”

“Oh, I guess I got side-tracked.”

“Eliza, I sent you that text half an hour ago.”

Startled, Eliza looked at her phone and true enough, it was a quarter to seven already.

“Shit,” she said, rubbing her forehead. “I got so into this song that I must’ve lost track of time.”

“Oh, a new song?” Wiki asked.

She came in and sat down on the couch to look over Eliza’s shoulder.

“’Wanted’?”

“I’m not real sure about the title, yet,” Eliza said, sighing.

“Play what you’ve got so far.”

Eliza pulled her acoustic closer to her and strummed the verse she’d figured out.

“I think I’ll pace my apartment a few times and fall asleep on the couch and wake up early to black and white re-runs that escape from my mouth, oh oh oh oh. All I wanted was you, all I wanted was you. All I wanted was you, all I wanted was you.

I could follow you to the beginning just to relive the start. Maybe then we’d remember to slow down at all of our favorite parts. All I wanted was you, all I wanted was you. All I wanted was you, all I wanted was you.”

She finished and picked up her pencil, marking a few things here and there on the sheet.

“Eliza, that’s incredibly powerful,” Annisa said, sitting cross-legged on the other side of the coffee table.

“I want it to be about missing someone and what you really go through and how you want them to feel. You know, when you want nothing more than that person.”

“I remember when Dominic and I saw each other again after I left town with Nate, the guy I was engaged to. I saw Dominic and it was like this spark had been relit for me. I’d had the biggest crush on him when I was younger and it just kind of ignited again, I guess, in the grocery store. He asked about my family, how I’d been, how my job was, everything that I’d gone through and he was just so fucking sweet. At home later, I remember how I couldn’t help but hope he was thinking of me or something. The thought of him got me through a lot of the hard times.”

Eliza watched as she rubbed her arm where a huge scar remained from one of the beatings she took. Eliza frowned as she watched Annisa smile at a memory.

“You know? I just hoped he was thinking of me while he was out there doing his bass guitar thing. He was playing odd and end gigs with bands and he was gone constantly. When we saw each other again at the bar it was kind of like fate, you know?”

“Can I use that?” Eliza asked, picking up her pencil.

“Absolutely,” Annisa said and smiled softly.

Eliza scribbled a few words down, along with a few more chords before she picked up her guitar again.

“How about I order some take out and we just have a chill night here?” Annisa suggested.

“Sounds like a plan to me. Dibs on the television!” Wiki called.

“Just keep it down,” Eliza mumbled, her thumb and fingers flicking the strings on the guitar.

A few minutes later, she heard Wiki calling her name and she finally looked up.

“What?!”

“Jimmy’s on the phone, bitch. No need to get hostile,” she replied, holding out Eliza’s phone.

“Oh, sorry,” she said, taking the phone. “Hello?”

“Cheese!”

“Hey, Jimmy.”

“Are you excited?”

“About what?” she asked with a chuckle.

“Bitch, I’m going to be there in less than fourteen hours.”

“Oh, shit, I forgot you and Johnny were coming early!”

“They are!?” she heard Wiki say in a squeaky voice.

She rolled her eyes at the girl. They’d been picking on Wiki ever since Halloween because of the crush she and Johnny had on each other but weren’t doing anything about it. It was the same with Katie before her. Katie had gone on a date with Zacky but neither did anything until Val and Eliza pushed them to it, just like she was going to have to do again with Johnny and Wiki.

“We should be there around eight is what the stupid airlines say,” Jimmy continued, having not heard Wiki.

“Sounds good to me. Are you staying here?”

“I’d hoped to. I don’t care where short shit stays; I’m crashing in that extra bed of yours.”

“Are the other guys coming?”

“Yeah, everyone’s coming. You really think we’d fucking miss this shit? Shades of Grey is our little sister band.”

“I’m sure Dom and Hunter will be so excited to hear that shit.”

“Yeah, well, they’re babies anyway. Are you pickin’ us up or should I expect to catch a banana to you?”

Eliza rolled her eyes. “That depends on if everyone is coming at the same time or not. I can’t exactly fit seven people in my Mustang.”

“This is extremely true,” Jimmy conceded. “I guess we’ll be taking taxis to the house, then. I guess we’ll be there at like nine, then?”

“Sweet. I’ve got sound check at three, but that gives us plenty of time.”

“Fuck, Matt’s calling me. He said he needed some help with something so lemme get off of here and I’ll text you in the morning?”

“Sounds good to me, guy,” Eliza said, smiling.

“Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See you, Jimmy,” she said and waited for a second to hang up.

“Hey, Eliza?”

“Yeah?” she asked.

“I love you.”

Her heart squeezed a bit and she smiled. “Love you, too, Jimmy.”

She heard the click and then her phone beeped, signaling he’d hung up. She set the phone down just as Annisa opened the door to get the food. Eliza started putting her things away to make room for the food. She watched as Wiki went to the fridge to get the Crown she had there, along with some glasses, Coke, and ice. Annisa grabbed the forks and came in to set the Chinese food down.

“God, I love General Tso’s,” Eliza said, opening her box. “I also love that you know to get it for me.”

“That’s because I love you,” Annisa said, fixing herself a drink.

An hour later, all the boxes were scattered everywhere and the Crown was almost gone.

“Why is it that when you guys come over I always end up getting rid of all my alcohol?”

“’Cause we’re just so fucking great that you can’t help it,” Wiki said, finishing off her glass. “Is there more?”

“…It’s me you’re talking to. Of course there’s more. I think I’ve got like three or four more bottles under the cabinet.”

“Sweet,” Wiki said before setting off to find one.

“Ugh, I just want to go to a club and dance now,” Eliza said, throwing her head onto the couch behind her.

“That reminds me!” Annisa exclaimed.

She jumped up from her spot on the floor and ran into the kitchen where she reached below the counter for something. She pulled out a huge bag and brought it over to the living room. She set it on the side of the table that wasn’t cluttered and sat back down on the floor.

“I bought you a couple of gifts for your birthday.”

“Nisa, you didn’t have to,” Eliza said.

“I know I didn’t, but shut the fuck up and open it.”

“What does this have to do with dancing?”

“Just fucking open it!”

Wiki came back then with the bottle of Crown and was fixing another drink as Eliza pulled the heavy bag off the table. Her eyebrows drew together as she pulled all the tissue paper away.

“It’s from both Dominic and I, so don’t flip out, okay?”

Eliza was just as confused as she pulled out a huge box that said “Nintendo Wii” on it.

“You bought me a video game set?”

“Just keep looking, okay?” Annisa said with a smile.

Eliza set the box down and stuck her hand back into the bag. She pulled out a small case and flipped it over. It was a game for the console. She read the name and burst out laughing.

“Oh, Annisa, you’re the greatest.”

“What is it?” Wiki asked, reaching for it. “’Just Dance’. That sounds fun!”

“Oh, we’ve got to do this shit now,” Eliza said, jumping up excitedly.

They spent the next few minutes hooking up the console before slipping the disc in and spending the next hour dancing.

It was after nine when her phone beeped and she glanced at it to see a text from Brian. She didn’t have time to reply because another song was starting and she put the message from her mind as she moved. She didn’t hear it chirp again while the song was going, but after the song they stopped to fix more drinks.

“What’s that noise?” Wiki asked, squinting her eyes.

“What noise?”

“It sounds like a small phone,” she said.

Eliza and Annisa were extremely quiet as they listened. It was a faint ringing sound that made Eliza’s eyebrows draw together until it rang again.

“Oh, that’s Brian wanting to Skype,” she said, waving her hand.

She moved to push ‘start’ on the game again. “You guys ready?”

“Wait, why aren’t you answering?”

“Uh, hello, we’re dancing,” Eliza said, motioning to the television.

“Yeah, but are you mad at him?”

“No.”

“Did he do something?”

“No.”

“Why aren’t you answering?” Annisa asked again.

“I’m not answering because we’re dancing. I’ll call him later.”

Maybe it was the defiant look in Eliza’s eye or maybe it was the almost two full bottles of Crown they’d consumed, but something made Annisa smile wickedly before whirling around.

“Oh, no! Annisa, you get back here right fucking now!”

Eliza made a move to go after Annisa but Wiki tackled her on the couch. She screamed just as she heard Annisa answer the call.

“Hi, Brian!”

“Oh, hey Annisa,” he said with a smile. “What are you guys up to?”

A scream came from somewhere behind Annisa who just smiled. Brian raised an eyebrow.

“Dancing,” she explained. “We’re just dancing.”

“That…doesn’t sound like dancing,” Brian said, laughing.

They heard “Get the fuck off of me, you imp!” from behind Annisa and Brian could see she was fighting to keep the smile off of her face. She giggled.

“So, are you coming to the Big Apple tomorrow?” Annisa asked.

“Well…actually—” Brian started.

They were interrupted by Eliza breaking free from Wiki’s grip and they came, one after the other, into the makeshift office. Eliza tried to stop herself, but she was wearing socks and couldn’t avoid her feet coming out from underneath her. She fell in a heap behind the chair Annisa was sitting in and burst out laughing. Wiki and Annisa were just as loud and Brian even laughed, too.

She picked herself up off the floor and tried to get Annisa to move, but she wouldn’t. Finally, she stepped back and pulled Annisa and the chair away from the desk and pushed her away. She laughed at Annisa’s shocked face and turned to Brian.

“Hey,” she said, still laughing.

“Hey, princess,” he said with a smile. “It seems like you guys are having a good time.”

“Annisa and Dominic got me ‘Just Dance’ and a Wii for my birthday. We’ve been playing for hours.”

“So that’s why you didn’t reply to my text,” Brian said, rolling his eyes.

“Oops? I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“What did they say? I heard my phone beep but I didn’t check them.”

“Oh, well…I just wanted to tell you that I’m—”

“Are you gonna give Eliza the dick while you’re here?” Annisa asked.

She’d pushed her chair back and slammed into Eliza’s hip, pushing her out of the way. Brian chuckled.

“Shove off, drunk bitch,” Eliza said, trying to push her out of the way again.

“I’m not drunk. We need to get drunk though. We were on our way when Brian called, so I’m going to make sure you’re getting some this weekend.”

“Well, I'm trying to figure that out for myself, but you're interrupting,” Brian interjected.

Annisa’s jaw dropped and she immediately stood up. She and Wiki walked back into the living room and a few seconds later, Eliza heard the game starting back up, giggling following.

“So, as I was saying,” Brian said. “The texts were just me telling you I was in town.”

“In town as in what?” Eliza asked, suddenly getting nervous.

“I’m in New York,” he said, smiling.

“Oh,” Eliza said. A slow smile crept onto her face. “Are you coming over?”

“If you want me to, I will. I would’ve come over earlier, but I never got a reply.”

“Sorry,” Eliza said, smiling.

She was suddenly extremely nervous. She hadn’t shaved since the day before and knew she needed to. Her hair was nasty, she’d been lazy all day, and she was half drunk. What a great combination.

“Want me to come over?”

“Well, what did you come to New York for?” Eliza asked with a crooked smile.

“You,” he breathed out. She felt that familiar shiver run down her back.

“Of course I want you to come over then.”

“I’ll see you in half an hour,” he said.

He winked before the call was disconnected and Eliza’s jaw remained dropped.

“Fuck me,” she whispered and stood up. She froze and then started laughing. “I guess he will be, soon.”

She ran upstairs and did a few things before coming back downstairs. She looked fine, her breath was fine, her legs and other areas were fine, and therefore she didn’t have to worry. She wasn’t sure why she was freaking out in the first place. She heard Wiki and Annisa laughing and she looked up.

“Is that ‘Cotton Eyed Joe’?!”

She forgot momentarily that Brian was coming and she jumped into the game again. They’d been through five dances by the time Brian knocked on her door. She laughed as she answered it, moving so he could come inside. Just as he passed her, he leaned in and kissed her lips. She smiled as she shut the door.

He checked his phone as she saw the small shoulder bag hanging on his right side. Good, he wanted to stay. She took his bag from him and made her way upstairs while he got comfortable in the living room.

When she came back downstairs, Wiki and Annisa had their coats on, prepared to leave. She said goodbye to them, thanked Annisa again, and shut the door behind them. She walked into the kitchen where Brian bringing the glasses and Crown from the living room.

“You don’t have to clean up,” she said and took the bottle from him.

She fixed herself a new drink as he put the cups into the dishwasher and found himself a glass.

“I know, but I did anyways,” he said, setting his cup in front of her.

She poured him some Crown and then poured Coke on top of it before putting them both into the fridge. He grabbed her fingers and led her back to the couch. He sat down and she made herself comfortable like she always did. She was lying on her back with her head in his lap, facing to the right so she could see the television. His hand found its way to her hair and she smiled at how familiar it was.

Maybe he’d really been thinking about what she’d said and how she wanted to get back to where they were before. They had some show on and every once in a while they would laugh.

Finally, she suggested they go get some sleep, after she kept noticing Brian yawning. He cut the television off and they walked hand in hand up the stairs to her room. She immediately went to the bathroom, brushed her teeth, threw her hair into a messy bun, and pulled her socks off. When she came out, Brian was in a pair of basketball shorts with no shirt on, and he was fiddling with his phone.

“Whatcha doin?” she asked, coming to wrap her arms around his waist.

“I’m setting my alarm so I can wake up in time to get out of here before everyone else gets here.”
“That’s a good idea,” she said.

She kissed his shoulder and walked to her side of the bed. She woke her iPod up, found a playlist and a few seconds later, the sounds of “Red Jumpsuit Apparatus” quietly filled the room. She set the alarm on her phone as well while Brian climbed between the bed and the comforter she had resting there. She plugged her phone up and crawled in bed, too. She ended up on her back with Brian’s right arm under her head, his left arm splayed across her stomach and his head on her chest. He kissed her temple and closed his eyes.

She was beyond afraid that he would hear how hard her heart was beating, but when his hand didn’t move on her stomach, her heart calmed down. She glanced at him to see his eyes closed. Were they really just going to sleep? She rolled her eyes and looked at the ceiling. She tried to move a bit, hoping his hand would move lower and he’d get the picture. His hand barely touched the top of her shorts, in between her hip bones when he shifted and his hand went higher again. She crossed her eyes in frustration.

She waited ten more minutes before coming to the conclusion he really was just going to sleep.

“Fuck this,” she mumbled.

“Hmm?” Brian asked.

“Brian, wake up,” she said, rolling on her side.

Looking at him, she realized his eyes were open. He was smiling a bit, too.

“You were awake?”

“Of course I was.”

“You were yawning, Brian!”

“You think those were real yawns?”

“I swear you get me every time!” she said just as he pulled her to him.

The kiss was deep and stirred something deep inside of Eliza. She held his biceps in her fists, squeezing as she felt him doing the same thing with her hips.

A small flash of something flicked behind her eyelids and she pulled away. “Stupid bitch” kept ringing in her ears.

“I’m sorry,” she said, looking at him.

“Hey, it’s okay. I figured something like this would happen which is why I didn’t try anything when we got up here. Hell, Eliza, we’ve only had sex twice since the last time you-know-what happened. The first time was a struggle, I know, and the second time you were wasted out of your mind. You’re bound to have hesitations.”

“I want to,” she whispered.

“We’ll go at your pace,” he replied, brushing his thumb across her cheek.

She nodded and smiled at him, leaning back in for a kiss.