Wanted

Eliza stepped away from the reporters and latched onto Jimmy’s hand. She pulled him with her to pose for a few pictures. She tried to flatten out the puffy skirt of the dress she wore. The bodice was a sparkly gold to match her shoes. She’d specifically found the dress to match the bracelet Jimmy had given her for her birthday, which was one of two bracelets she was wearing. Her left arm had a black band with a gold razor on it, and of course she wore her necklace and the ring.

Jimmy put his arm around her middle and he even smiled. Her smile got just a bit bigger and she felt oddly content. Spotting Amy from Revolver magazine, she immediately went over to her, Jimmy following.

“So, your release party is a huge success, you’ve got some huge names here to support you, and you’ve also got The Rev on your arm. How are you feeling?” Amy queried.

Eliza chuckled and leaned into Jimmy. “I feel amazing, actually. I’m just really lucky to be able to produce music that is so well liked and received. I’m blessed that I was able to get half of my dad’s skill, and that I have such good friends.”

She smiled at Jimmy and Amy narrowed her eyes, though she was smiling.

“So is there a romance in the future?”

Eliza could see the wheels turning in Amy’s head and she frowned. Jimmy threw his head back and laughed loudly.

“No, unfortunately for everyone, she’s like a sister to me. She’s a spectacular person and I respect her previous relationship with one of my best friends. I’m just glad she wanted me to be a part of her life and her music career,” Jimmy clarified.

With a promise to see her later, Eliza pulled Jimmy away from Amy after that. They moved to the bar to get a drink and she leaned into him.

“I know how much you hate interviews and shit like that. Thanks Jimmy.”

“Aww, Cheese, you know I’d do anything for you,” he said and ruffled one side of her hair.

She swatted his hand away and smiled, nodding along to the Godsmack song that was playing. Glancing around the venue, she was shocked at how many people really were here. The members of Avenged, of course, plus her band, Nisa, Katie, and Thomas were milling around. She’d seen members of Bullet For My Valentine in glances, and she’d even seen Jonathan Davis of Korn. Benji and Joel had come up and hug her when they’d gotten there, and she thanked them for coming.

Matt came over to them then, and hugged Eliza.

“Quite the shindig,” he said, sipping his beer. “I’ve got someone who wants to really meet you.”

“Oh yeah? Who’s that?”

Jonathan Davis stepped up then and Eliza choked on her drink a little. He extended his hand and she shook it.

“I know we kind of met at Halloween, but everything was so chaotic then that I wanted to officially meet you here.”

“Holy shit,” was all she could say.

He laughed and pushed his hair over a shoulder. “Matt here has been telling me you do a killer set of our songs.”

“You guys were one of the biggest bands I listened to when I was learning how to play. KoЯn was a big influence on my music. In fact, I was just making fun of Matt yesterday about one of your songs.”

Matt narrowed his eyes at her and she smiled innocently.

“You weren’t supposed to talk about that shit anymore.”

“Aw, Matt, it’s okay!” she said and placed her hand on his arm. “You’ll get ‘em next time.”

“I’ve got to ask you: what’s your favorite song?”

Eliza looked from Matt to Jonathan. “Uh, when I was younger it was ‘Got the Life’ and ‘Falling Away From Me’, but now I think it’s got to be ‘Shoots and Ladders’ because anyone who can play the bagpipes is amazing and ‘Oildale’.”

“Nice choice,” Jonathan said, nodding.

“I like to think I have taste,” Eliza said, laughing.

“I’d really love to hear you play one of our songs,” Jonathan continued. “Actually, I’m just ready to hear you play anything. I’ve heard some of your older stuff and I’m really impressed.”

“Wow, thank you so much,” Eliza said, completely shocked. “It’s actually really funny because we planned on playing a KoЯn song tonight. I made fun of Brian yesterday, and Wiki came up with the idea for us to play it. She said something about wanting to show him what it was really supposed to sound like, so we planned on playing.”

“That’s fucking crazy,” Jonathan said, smiling.

“You’re a fucking bitch,” Matt said, his eyes wide.

“Hey, you’re not the only one who can cover shit,” Eliza said, holding her hands up. “You covered ‘Walk’ on the tour.”

“You’re not on tour, though,” Matt said, making a face.

“Actually, I’ve been meaning to ask you how you would feel about coming on tour with us this coming year. We’re doing our ‘Ballroom Blitz’ tour. I mean, if you guys wanted to come with us for our North American legs if you want,” Jonathan said, drawing attention to himself.

“Shut the fuck up,” Eliza said, astonished.

“I’m serious,” he said, laughing.

“No, shut the fuck up.”

“I told you something good would fucking happen tonight,” Jimmy said, elbowing her side.



Brian watched from the other side of the venue as Eliza talked with Jimmy, Matt, and Jonathan Davis. He wished with everything in him it had been him instead of Jimmy on her arm that night, but he could see how happy she was, even without him. He’d been watching her more than he’d ever admit the past couple of days, and seeing her interact with the other members of the band and her band made him see how happy she really was. He was beginning to think she was happier now than she would be if she was with him.

Frowning, he took another sip of his beer and watched her pose with the three for a picture.

“She’s beautiful.”

He glanced to his right to see the brunette looking at Eliza but speaking to him.

“Michelle? Holy shit!”

She smiled and hugged him before sitting on the stool beside him.

“When did you get here?”

“Well, I was gonna go see Val in California, but she told me she was here, so she invited me to come here with her. I’m a lot closer to New York than I am California.”

“That’s fucking crazy,” Brian said, smiling.

“What’s crazy is why you’re not over there with her,” Michelle said, looking back at Eliza.

Brian glanced back at her. Her dress just accentuated her perfectly tanned skin, even though it was cold as hell in New York. Her chest tattoo was fully visible over top of the dress and when she turned, he caught a glimpse of the one going across her shoulders. Her long legs lead down to the gold shoes she was balancing on.

“Yeah, it is crazy,” Brian mused as he sipped his drink.

Eliza laughed and pointed upward, he assumed talking about the KoЯn song that had just started playing overhead.

“What’s wrong, sugarplum?”

Brian glanced at Michelle and smirked. “Nothing, really. I’ve just been thinking a lot here lately.”

“Always a dangerous thing,” Michelle said, nodding.

“Fuck you, Shell.”

They looked back at Eliza, who’d just spotted Arin and was hugging him enthusiastically. Grimacing, Brian took another swig of his beer.

“Is she trying to make you jealous?” Michelle asked.

“No, I don’t think so. We’ve been secretly seeing each other, and I know she wants to get back together. This is just her…she’s happy. I’m not sure I want to fuck that up.”

“Why would you fuck that up?”

“She seems so free now and I think she’d feel tied down and not able to do what she wanted if we were together.”

“Maybe you should stop thinking,” Michelle said, taking a sip of her drink. “From what Val told me, you’d never been happier than when you were with her, and she’d never been more depressed than when you fucked up twice. What I’m betting is that she’s just overwhelmed by her little party tonight that she’s just full of excitement.”

“Yeah, but I’m still not sure.”

“Brian, when you two were ‘together’, how long were you really together?”

“Uh, like a couple of months I think…”

“And most of that you spent every day with each other, right?” At Brian’s nod, she continued. “You didn’t even really have a chance to be with her, dumbass. You really need to stop thinking.”

Brian gave her a side glance and sat quietly.

Eliza glanced up in mid-laugh at something Arin had said and saw Brian talking with Val. Her gaze kept going before she saw Val standing next to Katie and Zacky. Confused, she looked back to Brian and realized it wasn’t Val, but her sister Michelle. She vaguely remembered her from Val and Matt’s wedding, but she’d been so wrapped up in avoiding Brian and trying to find a good place to do a bump of coke that she barely remembered meeting Val’s twin.

She frowned and watched them interact with each other, Brian seemingly comfortable with her. She tried to not let it affect her, but she found her gaze returning to them a lot during the night. Arin and Jimmy stayed by her side for most of the night, but finally she was able to find a break in their company to make her way to where Brian was sitting. Michelle had moved on to talking with Val and Katie and she easily slid onto the stool beside him.

“You look extremely lonely,” she said, smiling slightly at him.

“You look extremely popular,” he countered.

“Jealousy doesn’t become you,” she said, turning her body to face him.

“Are you sure you want to be seen talking to me?”

“You act like I care what people will think. This is my night and I don’t give a fuck.”

Brian couldn’t help but smile. He turned his head toward her to see her grey eyes sparkling at him.

“I missed you last night,” she said as she tilted her head to the side and rested her right arm on the bar.

“I missed you, too.”

"So why didn't you come over?"

"I would've felt awkward."

"I could've taken that feeling away," she whispered huskily.

His eyes turned dark and his head whipped to his left to look at her.

“I’m glad you’re here.”

“I don’t feel like I’m really here,” he said and motioned to the bartender for another beer.

“Do you need attention Mr. Gates?” Eliza asked with a smile.

She saw his lips twitch and her smile got wider.

Chris came over to them, then, and after he’d said hello to Brian, he turned to Eliza.

“Can we get some pictures of you and the band?”

“Sure,” Eliza said and slid off of the bar stool.

She straightened out her dress and fluffed her hair a bit before looking back at Brian.

“See you in a bit,” she said and added a wink for effect.

Brian watched her walk away and took a swig of his beer. Jimmy came to sit beside him and together, they watched her pose with her band for some pictures. After the pictures, they all crowded around a few reporters to answer some more questions, but Brian could see her eyes flick to him every once in a while.

Maybe Michelle had been right, and maybe he wouldn’t fuck up Eliza’s life again. She was in love with him, he knew it, because he was in love with her, but he still felt like he’d do nothing but hold her back. She had so much talent and he didn’t want any of it to go to waste. Their new album would be out next year and after that, they’d go on tour. Eliza was going to be busy with her band and they would never see each other. He sighed. Michelle had been wrong before.

The DJ changed the song and Brian recognized his own “Dear God” playing over the speakers and swallowed. He glanced at Eliza who had obviously heard and recognized the song and was now staring at him. Maybe it was the memories that came from that song and maybe it was because he could feel a good buzz coming on, but he got up, downed his beer, and started walking towards her.

Eliza recognized the song just about the same time Brian did. She watched him stand up and chug his beer. Her spine straightened a bit as she saw him start to walk and for a second, she thought he was going to leave. He surprised her by coming towards her and she realized what he was doing. Neither of them saw Thomas and Wiki fist-bump each other as they watched the couple.

“Excuse me,” Eliza said to everyone.

Without a second glance at them, she left the group and headed toward Brian. He held his hand out to her and she took it, walking beside him to the small dance floor that had been erected in front of the DJ.

She smiled at him as he wrapped his arms around her middle. They didn’t speak, just stared at each other, completely oblivious to the looks of awe from outsiders and the frowns from Katie and Val. Katie was shocked when she saw Johnny leading her to the floor as well, and even more so when Matt appeared by her side, his head nodding in the direction of the floor with a smile on his face. She decided not to say anything and walked with him.

Brian pulled Eliza in tighter and her head rested on his shoulder as he smiled. He leaned into her ear and sang.

“’Cause I’m lonely, and I’m tired; I’m miss you again, oh, no, once again…”

Eliza smiled and looked up at Brian.

Outside of the couples’ own little world, Jimmy leaned into Thomas to say something. Thomas nodded, a smile on his face, and walked off around the dancing couples, to the DJ and said something to him. The DJ nodded and Thomas walked away looking a bit smug.

The couples pulled away from each other as the song faded away, and Eliza was just about to pull Brian away when she heard the start of the next song. Her head jerked up to Brian’s face, but he was just smiling softly.

Katie moved to pull Eliza away, but Zacky stopped her.

“Just let them have this, okay?”

“Why are you so for them doing this? It could ruin everything if they get back together too soon!” Katie furiously whispered.

“Why are you so against them? Since when do you put what you think is right over your best friends’ happiness?”

Katie stopped at his words and looked at him. He was right, so she let it go.

“Right Here” flowed through the speakers, washing over Eliza and Brian as they encircled each other again.

“I miss you,” Brian whispered halfway through the song.

He felt her grip around his neck tighten a bit and he pulled her as close as he could.

When the song ended, they pulled apart and Eliza opened her mouth to say something, but Chris stopped her. He came to tell her it was time for them to go on stage. She nodded and smiled at Brian before turning away.

The stage was dark, with the exception of one spotlight in which Chris stepped into.

“We all know why we’re here, so I’m not gonna bullshit around. Give it up for Shades of Grey!”

Applause broke through and a few whistles were heard. Eliza came on stage first, followed by everyone else and the hollers got louder. She smiled and waved at everyone before stepping up to the microphone.

“Thanks for coming out, guys. It really means a lot to us that you guys are here supporting us and we appreciate every single one of you. We’re not gonna play much tonight, but we wanted to give you guys a little taste of us. This first song we’d planned on playing yesterday, before I knew that Jonathan Davis was gonna be here, so I’m probably going to embarrass the shit out of myself, but here goes nothing.”

A few laughs were heard before the cheers and they moved into their positions. Jimmy laughed loudly as he noticed Eliza had taken off her heels and slipped on a pair of Converses.

“There’s my girl!” he said.

Eliza stepped forward a bit, pushing the clean sound button, the reverberation pedal, and turning on the tremolo sound in front of her before stepping back. They watched as she slid her hand all the way down the neck to the fifteenth fret, pressing her pinky in, before looking back up to start.

She picked along the strings for the intro with Wiki behind her, pressing on the leg pedal, and Jonathan was impressed at how quickly she switched the bridge selector back to the bridge, took the clean sound off, taking the reverberation off and switching off the tremolo sound. She’d obviously done her homework.

Her eyes were closed and she thrashed around a bit before stepping up to the microphone.

“Hey…I'm feeling tired. My time, is gone today. You flirt with suicide. Sometimes, that's ok. Do what others say. I'm here, standing hollow. Falling away from me, falling away from me

Beating me down… Beating me…Beating me down…Down… Into the ground. Screaming so sound… Beating me…Beating me down…Down… Into the ground.”

Dominic stepped up to the microphone to sing next verse with her and they volleyed back and forth. Jonathan was nodding his head along to the music while beside him, Matt was rolling his eyes.

“Is that an Ibanez?” Jonathan asked, leaning into Matt.

“Yup,” he said, taking a sip of his beer. “She meant it when she said she really based the band off you guys.”

She was pulling off some serious shit as she played the main guitar and sang at the same time.

“Beating me down… Beating me…Beating me down…Down… Into the ground. Screaming so sound… Beating me…Beating me down…Down… Into the ground…
Twisting me, they won't go away. So I pray, go away…

Life’s falling away from me…It's falling away from me… Life’s falling away from me.”

Looking up, she saw Jonathan smiling and doing a circle motion with her hand that he always did with this song and she took it as approval. She smiled a knowing smile and leaned back away from the microphone before leaning forward and screaming.

“Fuck!”

Banging her head, she moved into the chorus, sounding almost exactly like the female version of the lead singer.

“Beating me down… Beating me…Beating me down…Down… Into the ground… Screaming so sound… Beating me…Beating me down…Down… Into the ground…”

Cheers went up as they finished the song and Eliza smiled with sweat beading her brow under the lights. She took her guitar off and people were a bit surprised to see Arin on the stage. He took the guitar from her and handed her a violin. Brian, Jimmy, and Katie smiled, being the only ones who knew that she had learned violin. Katie had encouraged her to pick it up in college and it was finally paying off.

The microphone was placed in front of Hunter and they watched as Eliza placed a wireless microphone into her ear.

She counted off and she, Arin, and Hunter started playing at the same time. Five bars later, Wiki came in, making the lights flash. All the instruments stopped as Eliza played a bar on her own before Hunter stepped up to his microphone and took a deep breath.

“I'm at war with the world and they try to pull me into the dark. I struggle to find my faith as I'm slippin' from your arms,” he sang.

“It’s getting harder to stay awake and my faith is fading fast. You breathe into me at last,” Eliza harmonized.

They took a deep breath just before the chorus.

“I'm awake I'm alive. Now I know what I believe inside. Now it's my time. I'll do what I want 'cause this is my life here, right now, I'll stand my ground and never back down. I know what I believe inside; I'm awake and I'm alive.”

There was a breakdown before Hunter stepped back up to the microphone.

“I’m at war with the world ‘cause I ain’t never gonna sell my soul. I’ve already made up my mind.”

“When my faith is getting weak and I feel like giving in you breathe into me again,” Eliza flowed and Hunter joined her at the microphone.

“I'm awake I'm alive. Now I know what I believe inside. Now it's my time. I'll do what I want 'cause this is my life here, right now. I'll stand my ground and never back down. I know what I believe inside; I'm awake and I'm alive.

Waking up, waking up. Waking up, waking up. Waking up, waking up. Waking up, waking up.

In the dark, I can feel you in my sleep. In your arms I feel you breathe into me. Forever hold this heart that I will give to you, forever I will live for you.”

Arin stepped forward a bit and played a guitar solo before Eliza joined him, her violin getting a bit louder. She smiled as she played, making eye contact with Arin before she and Hunter turned to sing again.

“I'm awake I'm alive. Now I know what I believe inside. Now it's my time. I'll do what I want 'cause this is my life here, right now. I'll stand my ground and never back down. I know what I believe inside; I'm awake and I'm alive.

Waking up, waking up. Waking up, waking up. Waking up, waking up. Waking up, waking up.”

They finished to the entire venue screaming, and Eliza pulled the violin off of her shoulder, her chest heaving with her breaths. She bowed to the crowd and introduced Arin who waved back. She took her violin to the side as her keyboard was brought out and she tuned it for a second before clearing her throat. Her fingers flexed before they pressed down on the keyboard, music flowing from it.

“I need some time, just deliver the things that I need for now. Everything that I feel’s like a warm deep calm casting over me and it’s taking me to somewhere new. If you believe that everything’s alright, you won’t be all alone tonight and I’d be blessed by the light of your company slowly lifting me to somewhere new.

Oh, can you tell I haven’t slept very well since the last time that we spoke? You said ‘Please understand if I see you again don’t even say hello’…Please…”

She leaned back and continued to play with the band before leaning forward again.

“What a night it is when you live like this and you’re coming up beneath the clouds, don’t let me down. All the love’s still there, I just don’t know what to do with it now. You know I still can’t believe we both did some things I don’t even want to think about. Just say you love me and I’ll say I’m sorry. I don’t want anybody to feel this way, no, no, no.

Can you tell I haven’t slept very well since the last time that we spoke? I said please understand I’ve been drinking again and all I do is hope. Please…”

Eliza took a deep breath before belting out.

“Stay….Please stay…

I’ll admit I was wrong about everything ‘cause I’m high and I don’t wanna come down. All the fun we had on my mother’s couch, I don’t even wanna think about… I’m not strong enough for the both of us. What was I supposed to do? You know I love you, oh, oh, oh, please stay…Stay…”

Eliza finished singing and her fingers dug into the keys with the emotion she felt. She leaned back from the microphone to sing the last line and her fingers faded away as Wiki was left playing before the song ended.

Applause burst from nowhere, bringing her out of her thoughts and making her smile. She stepped away from the keyboard and bowed, thanking them. Her eyes found Brian who was clapping with everyone. A small smile was on her lips and she knew he could see the emotion on her face.

She turned to Dominic and Hunter to hug them both before she saw Arin and hugged him, too. He kissed her hair and whispered in her ear.

“You were wonderful, dear. They love you.”