Wanted

The group spent a week doing nothing but being there for each other. Every day they would all have either lunch or dinner together and spend time doing something together. It had been a week and two days since they’d buried Jimmy and a few of them were finding it a bit easier to smile, even though it didn’t last long. She’d seen everyone almost every day…except for Brian.

Michelle would come over every once in a while to see everyone and have dinner or lunch, but Brian had only been over once and he’d stayed for less than an hour before slipping out the backdoor unnoticed. He would text her every once in a while if she would send one to him and reply that he was fine or he was just tired. She didn’t buy it for one second, but he knew she was there for him.

Currently, Eliza was sitting on her bed, laptop in front of her crossed legs with music playing quietly from the speakers. She’d spent the day with Matt working out and they’d come in for lunch but she wasn’t feeling very hungry, so she’d decided to check her messages.

She was able to reply to a few emails before there was a knock on the door. She hollered and the door opened. She was so wrapped up in a t-shirt design that Thomas had emailed to her that she didn’t even turn around to see who it was.

“Hey.”

She recognized Katie’s voice, replied, and finished replying to her email before she closed her computer and turned around. The backs of her thighs hurt from the amount of running they’d done earlier in the day but she ignored it.

“So, Michelle is here and she says Brian hasn’t eaten in like two days.”

Eliza’s lips pulled into a frown but she continued to listen.

“She doesn’t know what to do anymore. She says he’s barely eaten since the funeral but the past two days he hasn’t eaten anything. He gets alcohol and sits in the studio for hours on end before going upstairs and just passing out. We’re all worried about him.”

“So, what do you want me to do?” Eliza tried to keep the venom out of her tone but she knew a bit of it got through.

“We want you to go check on him.”

“’We’ as in who?”

“Me and everyone else.”

“So, you’re giving me permission to go see Brian?”

Katie nodded and gave a wry smile.

“You’ve always had my permission, Eliza."

"So why act like a bitch?"

Katie looked at her and hesitated for a second.

"I watched you get hurt by Brian twice. I almost lost you the second time, you were so secluded and you were reduced to drugs. I’m sorry I was such a bitch, but honestly, how else was I supposed to react? What’s gonna happen if you guys don’t make it this time? I don’t want things to be torn apart because you two are broken up. I didn’t want you to rush into it, and yes, I was hurt because you didn’t tell me, but I understand your reasons for not telling me.”

Eliza didn’t say anything but she swallowed the lump forming in her throat.

“Do you remember those times, Eliza? Do you remember waking up in the hospital? Do you remember us lying there, on the hospital bed, promising to always tell each other everything? That first night…when I found you in the bathroom? I was so fucking scared, Eliza.”

Eliza looked anywhere but at Katie. She’d never heard her talk about finding her on the floor. It was a bit unnerving.

“I thought you were dead,” Katie continued, her voice getting louder until she was screaming. “I’ve never been so fucking scared, Eliza. Do you understand that? Now maybe you’ll understand why I was a bit hesitant that you and Brian got back together. You were almost brain dead, Eliza! You had amnesia! And you wonder why I was so fucking mad!? You and Brian got together and guess what? He fucked up again and you were so heartbroken and vulnerable that drugs became a factor. You were skinnier than a twelve-year-old, and you were sick. You asked me to get rid of the coke. You trusted me to get rid of it for you. We got over that…together.”

Eliza raised purple chipped nails to her eyes and swiped at them. She’d justified being angry with Katie for weeks, but now…she felt low. Katie was completely right about what had happened. Sure, that didn’t make it okay what she’d done and said, but Eliza saw her point of view then.

“What do you want me to do, Katelyn?”

“I want you to go save Brian…like he did for you.”

Eliza finally looked at Katie who was smiling. Standing up, Eliza ate up the space between them and wrapped her arms around her best friend. Katie squeezed her, kissed her cheek, and laughed before she let Eliza go.

Trotting down the stairs, Eliza didn’t even bother with shoes as she made her way through the house, out the back door and down into the sand. She felt the coolness of it as it squished through her toes. It didn’t take her anytime to walk to the house that held so many memories.

She found the back door open and turned the knob, pushing the door and wiping her feet on the mat before walking inside. Michelle was sitting in the kitchen but started when she noticed Eliza. Standing up, she walked over and hugged the pink-haired girl in greeting.

“He’s in his studio,” Michelle said, hooking a thumb over her shoulder.

“Thanks for this, Michelle. I know Ben must be missing you a lot,” Eliza replied.

Michelle shrugged. “He’ll get over it. He knows I need to be here, but I miss him, too.”

“Thanks again,” she said, smiling as she headed past Michelle.

“I’ll see you later!”

Eliza whirled around and waved to Michelle who was getting her things together to go out the door. She turned around and walked down the hall.

She heard a guitar playing a few chords before a curse resonated off the walls and she slowly pushed the door open. Brian had his head down on a desk in front of him, his guitar leaning against the edge of the desk. She turned around and sat down in the empty rolling chair, pushing it back so that it hit the desk. Brian’s head jerked up and turned to her. His eyes were bloodshot and a dull brown and his eyes were sullen and sunken in.

“You look like shit, Bri.”

“Thanks, Subtle Susie.”

“Anytime,” she said, cheery, making him crack a small smile. She reached out for his hand and stood up. “Come on.”

“Where?”

“You’ll see,” she said, shaking her hand until he took it.

She pulled him up from the chair and led him to the kitchen. She sat him down at the island and moved to fix some coffee. After she’d set a cup in front of him, she moved around to the fridge and the cabinets, grabbing all kinds of things before starting to fix them all. Brian tried several times to tell her he wasn’t hungry but each time, she would interrupt him, tell him to shut up, and continued to cook.

Finally she set a plate in front of him and moved around to sit beside him. She took a forkful of food and put it in her mouth, smiling. Brian just looked at her until his stomach growled, loudly. She quirked an eyebrow and he sighed in defeat. The first forkful was like heaven and he realized he really was hungry.

When he’d eaten two helpings, he helped Eliza clean the kitchen. After the dishwasher was started, he pulled Eliza to the hallway and up the stairs. The sun was starting to set through the windows as Brian shrugged out of his zip-up jacket. When he looked up, Eliza was already curled up in the middle of the bed, her eyes sagging as she looked at him.

Climbing into the bed, they made themselves comfortable and within minutes, Brian felt himself drifting off without the help of drugs or alcohol.



Eliza woke to the sound of Brian’s phone going off. Blinking her eyes open, she realized that she was on the opposite side of Brian and she reached backwards for his phone.

“’Ello?”

“Eliza?”

“What, Matt?”

“I didn’t think you were still there…”

“You still haven’t gotten to the point,” Eliza groaned out, glancing at Brian who was snoring softly by her side.

His face was half buried in his pillow, half covered by his hair and she smiled.

“We’re going over to Jimmy’s today and I was wondering if Brian…and you…wanted to go. Since you’re leaving tomorrow, we wanted to make sure you were able to come.”

“What time are you going?” Eliza asked, suddenly awake.

“Probably after noon, I guess.”

Looking at the clock beside his bed, Eliza realized it was nine in the morning and they’d been asleep for more than twelve hours.

“Let me ask Brian and I’ll call you back,” she said.

“Alright,” Matt replied before hanging up.

Eliza set Brian’s phone down and rolled back towards him. Through heavy eyes, she saw him watching her.

“Hey,” she whispered.

“Hey,” he replied, smiling.

“Time to wake up.”

“No, it’s not,” he said and closed his eyes.

She smiled as he pulled her in closer and got warm again.

“Brian, we need to get ready for the day.”

“I like lying in bed with you too much.”

“Brian, I’m leaving for New York tomorrow.”

“Even more reason for us to stay in bed,” he said, snuggling closer to her.

“Brian…we’re going to Jimmy’s house today.”

Brian froze and his eyes opened to look at her. She saw tears shining in his brown orbs and she internally cringed.

“Alright, well let’s get ready,” he said and started to stretch.