Wanted

Eliza sighed as she lifted the coffee cup to her lips. The steam rose off of it, swirling around her before disappearing into the crisp morning. The sun was just about to rise over the coast but she was wide awake. In fact, she’d gotten some of the best sleep of her life and had woken up feeling more than refreshed.

Matt and Zacky had come to kidnap Brian the previous night, and within twenty minutes of feeling lonely, all of the girls plus Suzy and Katie’s mom had appeared at the door. She’d been shocked to see Katie’s mom, but she just scoffed, saying she wouldn’t have missed it for the world, and pushed past Eliza.

Eliza felt something change around her and she turned her head to see who was walking up beside her. Suzy scuffed her way through the sand and sat down, cross-legged, beside her. She lifted her own cup of coffee to her lips and flicked her head, getting her hair out of her face.

“You okay, there?”

Eliza smiled, fondly. “Doing just fine, mom.”

Suzy smiled, bumping shoulders against Eliza. “No cold feet?”

“Warm and toasty, and getting exfoliated just right in the sand,” Eliza said, taking another sip of her coffee.

“You know…I could give you that sappy ‘I’m so happy you’re going to be my daughter-in-law’ bullshit, but I don’t think that’s quite our style.”

“Judging by the way you bawled your eyes out last night at the rehearsal dinner and said the same thing, I’d say it is your style,” Eliza said, baring all of her teeth in her smile.

Suzy shook her head in embarrassment and rolled her eyes. Eliza expected her to say something but she remained quiet. After a few seconds of silence, Eliza glanced at her to realize she was staring at something to their left. Eliza squinted her eyes to see a figure walking towards them. As it got closer, she recognized Brian’s hair sticking up in every direction. A pair of grey sweatpants hung low on his hips, letting slivers of skin show between them and his low-cut V-neck shirt. His feet were bare and his head was down.

“Brian?”

His head snapped up at Suzy’s call and he froze, realizing they were both outside. Immediately, his hand shot up to cover his eyes as he realized Eliza was outside.

“Fuck, I’m sorry! I didn’t realize you’d be outside, Eliza…I’m sorry. I’ll turn around. Fuck.”

Both Suzy and Eliza immediately stood up. Eliza went after Brian as he turned around to walk back in the direction he’d come from. Suzy, her motherly intuition kicking in, picked up Eliza’s cup of coffee and walked towards the house, glancing once over her shoulder as Eliza had reached Brian.

“Wait,” Eliza said, reaching for his arm. She whirled him around but his hand was still covering his eyes. “What are you doing?”

“It’s bad luck to see you before the wedding, Eliza. I didn’t realize you would be outside. I’m sorry!”

Crossing her eyes, Eliza lifted her hands and pulled his away from his face. His eyes were scrunched closed and she smiled, but didn’t laugh. She put both of her hands on either side of his face and waited until he decided to open them. She didn’t have to wait long.

Eliza was smiling at him when he cracked them open. Her eyes flicked back and forth between his and she sighed. She was wearing her favorite Metallica shirt, the one that always brought her comfort and reminded her of her parents, and her shorts were barely visible beneath the hem. Her own feet were bare and her hair was whipping wildly in the wind.

“Hi,” he said, quietly.

“Hi,” she replied, smiling. “What are you doing here, Bri?”

“I just…I knew if I couldn’t see you, I had to be as close to you as I could. So I figured standing on the beach would be just as good.”

“Why?”

“I’m really, really fucking nervous, Eliza.”

“Why?” she repeated again, taking his hands in hers.

“Since I’ve come into your life, so much shit has happened. You’ve been raped, you’ve been on drugs, you were pregnant and you lost it—”

“That wasn’t your fault, Brian. Neither was the drugs. Don’t blame yourself for mine or David’s mistakes.”

“Yeah, but if I hadn’t been in your life, you’d still have the baby and—”

“And I wouldn’t be marrying the love of my life and my best friend. Brian, you may have been in my life when those things happened, but they’re not your fault. What is your fault is the fact that I have a family again; not just Suzy and your dad but Katie, Val, Johnny, Zacky, Matt, Arin, and my band. You pushed me to get my own band. Everything good in my life right now…is connected to you.”

“How can you say all that?” Brian asked with tears shining in the bottom of his eyes.

Eliza took a shaky breath and cupped his face in her hands. “I love you, Brian Elwin Haner, Jr. and nothing you say or do is going to stop me from walking down the aisle today and saying ‘I do’ to you, got it? We were meant to be together.”

Brian’s eyes closed and the corner of his mouth lifted into a smile. Eliza couldn’t help herself; she leaned up on tip-toes and kissed the corner of his mouth. He couldn’t let her go and captured her mouth for a full, proper kiss. A cough from somewhere interrupted them and they broke apart quickly. Looking up to the house, they saw Suzy on the deck, pointing at her wrist.

“I guess that’s my signal…” Brian said, trailing off. “Should we be cliché now?”

Eliza giggled. “Only if you want to.”

“I’ll see you at the altar,” he said with a wink.

“I’ll be the one in white,” Eliza said, smiling back. “Maybe.”

Brian laughed and squeezed her hand before turning around. Eliza heaved a breath before turning to the house and jogging up to the steps. Brian glanced over his shoulder to see Eliza bounce up the last step into Suzy’s arms for a hug. He closed his eyes and sighed.

He was getting married today.



The bridal room of the church was bustling.

Eliza chewed on her thumb nail. She glanced around as everyone else had the finishing touches put on them. All of her bridesmaids had their dresses on, their makeup done, and their hair fixed; they looked stunning. She still had to get her dress on and they had less than an hour before they had to be downstairs. Katie walked by Eliza on her way to where Val and Amy stood and smacked Eliza’s hand away from her mouth, not saying a word. Her lips turned down into a frown, but Eliza didn’t raise her hand back up.

“You ready?”

She glanced up to see Katie had walked back over to her and was standing beside Suzy. She smiled brightly at them and heard the click of the photographer to her side. She got some of the bridesmaids together, a few candid shots of the bride before she adorned her gown and then some of all of them in the process of getting ready. Eliza heard her announce she was heading to the grooms’ room as she and Katie, Thomas and Suzy made their way to the attached room to put on her dress.

As calmly as she could manage, she unbuttoned her shirt and pulled off her shorts, revealing the lacy lingerie set she was wearing underneath. Katie helped Suzy take the dress off of the hanger and they both held the sides open so Eliza could step into it. One it was situated in place, Suzy zipped up the back while Katie retrieved Eliza’s shoes. She bent down to help Eliza slip them on and Suzy held the necklace for Eliza to put on. Thomas was flittering around her, making sure her dress was fluffed out. Once he was done fussing, she then turned and retrieved the bracelet Jimmy had given her and slipped it onto her wrist. Her fingers lingered over the metal, remembering the day he’d given it to her. A lump grew in her throat and she had to pause for a few seconds.

Katie noticed Eliza not moving and she looked to see her best friend looking at the bracelet. Eliza lifted her eyes to Katie’s and saw the tears there, too.

“I know you don’t want to do that whole ‘something old, something new’ thing,” Suzy started while Katie searched for the garter. “However, I want you to wear this ring. Of course, I want it back, but for the wedding, I want you to wear it.”

A thin band of diamonds held the huge blue stone in place. Eliza ran her finger over the stone before she slipped it onto her right hand.

“Brian’s dad gave it to me on our first anniversary. Now, you’ve got something old, borrowed, and blue all in one. Plus the dress is new, so you’re set.”

Eliza’s eyes watered a bit and she looked at Suzy. She wrapped her arms around the older woman and hugged her tightly. “Thank you, Suzy.”

“Don’t cry. You’ll ruin your makeup,” Thomas said, rushing to her side.

“Enough sappy shit,” Katie said, waving them off. “Here’s the leg warmer.”

“Garter,” Suzy said, smiling.

“Whatever,” Katie said and bent down to allow the garter to go around Eliza’s leg.

The photographer popped back up then and asked for a group photo. Making sure she had everything, Eliza moved with the help of Katie to the bigger room with all of her bridesmaids.

“Where’s McKenna?” Eliza asked, looking around for her flower girl.

“Good question,” Suzy said, looking around but not finding her.

They paused in their search as the pictures were taken and then they moved Eliza back to the mirror to make sure everything was perfect before they left the room. There was a gasp from behind them and Eliza whirled around to find the missing McKenna, her purple dress still swaying from her sudden stop. Her smile was contagious and Eliza opened her arms just in time for McKenna to fling herself into her arms.

“I’m glad you’re going to be my sister,” McKenna said, her head on Eliza’s chest.

“Me, too,” Eliza said, tearing up.

“I told you I get what I want,” McKenna said with a sly smile as she pulled away.

Eliza just rolled her eyes and squeezed the smaller girls’ shoulder.

“Guys, fifteen minutes!” Amy said looking at the clock. “Let’s head down!”

With help from a few people, Eliza carefully made it down the steps to the back entrance of the church. All of her bridesmaids were gathered in a circle, Papa Gates just outside of them. She smiled as he noticed her. His jaw dropped and he immediately moved to her.

“You look beautiful,” he whispered, his arms squeezing her.

“Thank you so much,” she said fighting back tears.

“How could I not tell you that you look beautiful, Liza?”

“No, I mean…thank you for walking me down the aisle. It means more to me than you know.”

“I was honored that you’d even ask me, darlin,” he said, brushing his thumb across her cheek. “You’re going to be….have been family. You are family. We do anything for family.”

Tears threatened to spill and Eliza had to take a breath.

“I could use a cigarette right about now,” she said, earning a laugh from Papa Gates.

“We’ve still got about thirty minutes before we start. Wanna sneak one?”

“They’ll know I’m gone,” she said, waving it off.

Papa Gates opened his jacket to reveal a pack of Marlboro Menthols in his pocket. She gasped and looked back at his face. She heard the sound of a lighter flicking and she smiled.

“Always come prepared,” he said, winking.

He moved to tell Suzy something, and her eyes connecting with Eliza, she nodded behind her to a set of stairs leading directly to a door outside. She took his hand and followed him down the stairs and outside.

Ten minutes later, they entered again and Katie came up to them, giving her some mouthwash, a piece of gum, and had perfume waiting. Eliza smiled her thanks and they listened as the wedding planner instructed them on what they were to do. Suzy kissed Eliza’s cheek and disappeared into the church, pulling the doors shut behind her.

All of the groomsmen were going to be waiting with Brian at the altar and the bridesmaids were going to walk down the aisle by themselves. Zacky’s nephew had been chosen as the ring-bearer and he kept pulling at the tie around his neck. Every few seconds, Katie would bend down and fix it for him, much to his chagrin.

Eliza and Papa Gates stood to the side as the time wound down and finally, it was the moment she’d been waiting for.

Brian was standing at the altar, fidgeting his hands in his pockets. When he felt the sweat began to form on his palms, he quickly pulled them out and rubbed his hands on his pants. Realizing what he’d done, he clasped them behind his back. The pastor noticed what he was doing and cleared his throat quietly. Brian’s eyes snapped to him and saw the smile on his face. Bashfully, he smiled back and then the music started. His spine snapped to attention.

His smile widened as he watched McKenna drop her petals on either side of the aisle. Her smile was bright and broad as she came closer and closer to him. Then, the doors opened up again and Zacky’s nephew came down the aisle.

Behind the doors, Eliza smiled as she saw each girl had their signs. She was going to surprise Brian, her only input on the wedding. Her bridesmaids weren’t carrying bouquets; instead, they were each carrying a sign. When you read them together, they said “Brian, here comes your girl”, and Amy was first, carrying the one with his name. Nisa, Wiki, Val, then Katie bringing up the rear, all entered after her.

The smile almost reached his ears as he read each sign. He shook his head at her silliness and as Katie took her spot on the altar, he puffed out his cheeks, mentally preparing himself for what was about to happen. He was getting married.

The music started, a slow procession, and Suzy stood up, signaling to the guests that they should stand up, as well. Both of the double doors opened at the same time and his breath caught in his throat. His dad was standing there, looking sharp in his jet-black suit, purple tie, and smile on his face. What caught his attention, though…was the angelic woman standing beside him. He’d caught the tail end of a conversation before that she wasn’t going to wear a veil and he was beyond glad that she didn’t.

Her bright pink and black hair was curled to perfection and framed her face, flowing down her shoulders on either side of her neck. A small chain was fastened around her slender throat, flowing down to the bright white gown she had on her body. In her right hand, she clutched the bouquet of blak and purple flowers, and she clung to Papa Gates with the left. Tears rushed to his eyes and he couldn’t help the hand that came up to cover his mouth; she was stunning.

Eliza’s grip on Papa Gates’ arm tightened as she glimpsed at Brian. His suit was midnight black with a black undershirt. The only splash of color was the purple tie that matched his fathers. His hair was spiked in every direction, and as they’d previously agreed on, his nose ring was in place. She felt it would be more natural if they had all of their piercings in; she didn’t want to change from the way they always were.

She barely heard Papa Gates whispering for her to breathe beside her and he was sort of holding her back, making sure she didn’t run down the aisle. When they reached the end of it, just before the steps up to Brian and the pastor, they stopped. The crowd sat down in unison.

“Doubly blessed is the couple which comes to the marriage altar with the approval and blessings of their families and friends. Who has the honor of presenting this woman to be married to this man?”

For a second the only sound Eliza heard was her heartbeat.

“We do.”

More than one voice joined Papa Gates. Visibly startled, Eliza jerked forward before turning around to the voices she’d heard. Standing in a row behind her and Papa Gates stood Dominic, Johnny, Matt, Zacky and Arin. Clutching her hand to her mouth, she couldn’t help the tears that spilled over then.

Each man paused as they passed her, bent down to kiss her cheek and whisper that they loved her before taking their place behind Brian. Overcome with emotion, Eliza slowly turned back to face the front, her eyes finding Brian who was crying, too.

“I love you, babygirl,” Papa Gates whispered as he kissed her cheek.

Brian came down a few steps and Papa Gates held her hand as she ascended two of the steps before taking hold of Brian’s hand, interlocking her fingers with his. As they took their positions in front of the pastor, Eliza turned and handed her bouquet to Katie and turned to take both of Brian’s hands in hers.

Brian instinctively reached up to wipe away her tears with the pad of his thumb. "You look so beautiful."

Eliza tried to smile, but she wasn't sure if it was a full one or not.

“Family…friends…we are gathered here today...”



“I present to you…Mr. and Mrs. Brian Haner, Jr.!”

A cheer went up as Brian and Eliza walked in, hand in hand. They paused long enough for Brian to give her a quick kiss on the cheek before he pulled her to the vast dance floor in front of them. To their left and right were many tables, filled with their guests and friends. On the other side of the dance floor sat the D.J. that was sitting on a small stage, as well as the dais where they would be sitting, the bridal party below them at a long table.

Brian twirled Eliza around, the smile reaching both of their ears; they couldn’t stop. Brian pulled her close to him and clasped her left hand in his right, resting his left hand on the small of her back.

“Brian, there’s no music,” she said, her eyes never leaving his.

Somehow, his smile got bigger and the sounds of guitar strings being picked at met her ears. He whirled her around so his back was to the stage where Aaron Lewis was sitting, his guitar with the beautifully crafted neck on his lap.

Tears rushed to Eliza’s eyes as they flicked back to his brown ones. He’d asked Aaron Lewis to sing at their wedding. Her arms left his and wrapped around his neck pulling him close.

“I love you so much,” Eliza whispered, turning her head so their lips were close together. “You’re amazing.”

“I love you, too,” He replied back, pressing their lips together.

“I spent some time with the groom this past week and we came up with a song, so I want to dedicate this to the couple,” Aaron said before starting the song.

“You’re my world…the shelter from the rain. You're the pills that take away my pain. You're the light that helps me find my way. You're the words when I have nothing to say

In this world where nothing else is true; Here I am still tangled up in you. I'm still tangled up in you, still tangled up in you

You're the fire that warms me when I'm cold. You're the hand I have to hold as I grow old. You're the shore when I am lost at sea. You're the only thing that I like about me.

In this world where nothing else is true here I am; I'm still tangled up in you, tangled up in you
How long has it been since this storyline began and I hope it never ends and goes like this forever

In this world where nothing else is true… Here I am still tangled up in you, tangled up in you… I'm still tangled up in you, I'm still tangled up in you, I'm still tangled up in you…”

Brian put his glass of champagne down on the table and clapped along with everyone else as Katie sat down from making her speech. Matt stood up, then, taking his glass in his hand.

“I’ve had a front row seat to this couple for almost six years now. I’ve been able to watch these two grow together and grow up at the same time. When Eliza came back into our lives, I didn’t think she’d become such an important person in our lives, much less in Brian’s. From the first moment she stepped into the studio to help us out, she became more than a friend; she became family. Brian has always been my brother, from day one, and the moment we opened our doors to Eliza, I gained a sister. Honestly, I couldn’t ask for a better girl for my brother. I hope you guys are as happy as Val and I are because I couldn’t think of two more deserving people. Welcome to the family, Eliza. You’re stuck with us now.”

Matt raised his glass along with everyone else and a few shouts came out, agreeing with him. Katie clapped with the crowd and looked around to see who would be the next person to give a speech. Her eyes fell on Val, but when Brian stood up beside her, her jaw dropped.

“Six years ago, Zacky and I were walking along the beach and I happened to hear someone playing guitar and just killing it. Eliza was sitting on her back porch, playing a Metallica song and I think that’s the moment I fell in love with her. Our friendship was an amazing thing and fortunately for me, that blossomed into an amazing relationship.

I’ve messed up so many times in this past six years that I’m shocked she still wants me. Either she’s really, really insane…or she’s really, really in love. Either way, I don’t care because now that I’ve got her, I’m never going to let her go.

There have been times I’ve screwed up so bad that I thought I would never get out of my depression. I screwed up so bad I thought she’d never speak to me again or worse. In fact, she did move away from me, but I couldn’t let her go that easily.

I really want to thank all of my friends and family who pushed me into being a better man for Eliza; without you, I don’t know where I’d be. I’d like to thank you all for being here today in sharing this day with us. It means so much to us that you guys are here and you love us. I also want to thank my band for supporting me one hundred percent in everything I do. Thank you to my family for always having my back and kicking me in the ass when I needed it. I want to extend a massive thank you to my fallen brother, Jimmy.”

Brian paused and blinked a few times. Eliza’s eyes watered and her hand went to her mouth. She heard Brian sniff and she put her hand in his left hand that was hanging by his side. He squeezed it.

“I want to extend a massive thank you to my fallen brother, Jimmy. Because of him, I had the balls to try to win Eliza. Because of him, I had the balls to ask her to marry me. Because of him, I was able to keep this relationship going. Because of him, I had the balls to ask her to marry me again. He should’ve been here with us today, but I know he’s here with us in spirit. So I’d like you all to raise your glasses in a toast to James Sullivan.”

Everyone lifted their glasses and a simultaneous “To Jimmy” sounded throughout the room before everyone took a sip.

“Lastly,” Brian started, looking down to his left where Eliza was sitting, staring up at him. “I want to thank my beautiful wife for loving me, giving me chance after chance after chance, for putting up with my shit, for being constantly by my side for the rough times and celebrating with me during the happy ones, and for also being one of the most amazing people I’ve ever had the pleasure to meet. ‘You have bewitched me, body and soul.’”

Eliza’s hand clamped over her mouth at his Pride and Prejudice reference.

“You mean the world to me, Eliza, and I’m thankful that you and I finally got to say ‘I do’ to each other today. Thank you for telling me that you loved me, all those years ago, because I plan on spending the rest of our lives proving to you how much I mean that I love you. I’ll always be right here waiting for you, waiting to give you my all or nothing, and to let you know how much you’re wanted.”

Eliza was openly crying by the end of his speech. She couldn’t take her eyes from his chocolate orbs.

“To the bride and groom!” Papa Gates said, holding his glass up.

“The bride and groom!” Everyone chanted and they took a sip of their drinks.

Brian bent down and kissed Eliza full on the mouth, through her tears and smiles. Cheers erupted from their audience for the couple.

“Let’s dance,” he said, pulling her up from her chair.

Excited, she allowed him to lead her to the dance floor where Aaron was starting up a new song.

“I love you, Mr. Haner,” she said, pressing her forehead to his.

“I love you, too, Mrs. Haner,” he said, smiling as Aaron began to sing.

“I know I’ve been mistaken…”