Wanted

The music is blaring loudly.

She laughs, closing her eyes, feeling the blissful moment with everything in her. Opening her eyes, she sees Brian beside her. He’s driving, who cares where? His hand is holding hers in the center console and their voices mingle together as they loudly sing the song on the radio.

“I missed this,” she says, suddenly.

Brian lifts her hand to kiss her knuckles. She smiles at their intertwined hands, then at his face. His brown eyes are looking directly at her. She blushes a bit and looks through the windshield.
Lights are coming straight at them.

“BRIAN!” she screams a second before the impact.

Her hands cover her face and a scream rips from her throat as she feels the car flying through the air.

When she finally feels nothing, she opens her eyes. The entire windshield is gone; glass shattered everywhere in the front and backseat. She has cuts all over her body, and she feels a huge cut on her forehead where she slammed against the passenger side window. Her entire body felt sore as she lifted a hand to unbuckle her seatbelt.

Brian.

She glanced to her left to see the seat empty. The door was open and there was blood on the steering wheel. She cried out, but no reply came. She tried to unbuckle herself but it was jammed. It was then she heard a moan from outside of the car. She struggled even faster, and finally, the belt came free.

She scrambled from the passenger seat to the driver’s seat and out of the open door. She saw his body a few feet from the car. She looks down at her feet as she climbs from the car. She trips once and falls right beside his body. When she looks up at his face, she’s shocked to see it’s her own face.

She’s dying.

An anguished cry rips from her throat as she sits up in bed. She’s crying fiercely and breathing hard.
Eliza glances at the clock and realizes it is six thirty in the morning. She’s been asleep for an hour and a half. She sobs once and wipes her face off. Before she could talk herself out of it, she climbs out of bed. She grabs the black zip-up sweatshirt and pulls on a pair of shoes.

She trots down the hall and notices how quiet the house is. They’d gotten home from Jimmy’s a little before five, and everyone had drunkenly passed out immediately. She knew it would be a while before anyone woke up. She just hoped he was home.

She ran the whole way to her childhood home and was thankful to see his SUV in the driveway. The house looked different on the outside; the grass was cut, and there were different bushes around the outside. She trotted up the steps and knocked, loudly, on the door.

The third time she banged on the door, she realized he was probably either passed out or he wasn’t home. Fuck. She desperately needed to talk to him. She ran a hand through her hair as she turned away from the front door and walked back to the driveway.

“Eliza?” she heard the groggy question and whirled around.

Brian was standing there in a pair of basketball shorts and nothing else. His face was still white from the makeup of the party the night before and his hair was pointing in every direction. He looked so beautifully alive that fresh tears came to her eyes.

“Eliza, what’s wrong?” he asked, fully waking up at seeing her anguished face.

She ran straight toward him and wrapped her arms around his neck tightly. She sobbed into his neck as she felt his arms wrap around her middle. He squeezed her just as tightly as she did him, and he could feel her shaking.

“What happened?” he asked into her hair.

She just cried onto his shoulder and buried her head in his chest. He looked out over the front yard, and pulled her inside. He’d just fallen asleep when she’d started banging on the door. He had music playing to help him sleep, and hadn’t realized it was someone at the door at first.

She still hasn’t answered him and is standing in the front hall, wearing his Avenged Sevenfold zip-up hoodie and tennis shoes, crying. Her hair was a disheveled version of the night before and it hit him: she’s had a nightmare. She looked the same back in New York, when they were broken up and he’d gone upstairs after she'd had one.

“Come on,” he said and took her hand.

He led her upstairs. She didn’t look at anything around her because she didn’t want to get even more sad, so she focused on their intertwined hands. That is, until he pulled her into their once-was bedroom.

It was obvious he’d been asleep and she felt a little bit bad, but she was in awe of the bed. The sheets were black cotton, and the pillows were black and red. They were all over the place, and she felt even worse, knowing he’d been sleeping really well. He’d gotten a new bed frame and it was huge. There were actual steps leading up to the bed, and she was shocked at how much she’d missed.

“Nice, isn’t it?” he asked quietly.

“Yeah, it looks really good,” she said, smiling a bit.

“Come on,” he said and pulled her towards the bed.

She unzipped her sweatshirt as he climbed in and made himself comfortable. She was only wearing a sports bra underneath, and Brian knew she’d come straight here after her dream. His heart swelled a little bit.

She hesitated for a few seconds and then climbed into bed beside him. Brian was lying on his back, his left arm outstretched and she curled into his side, her head on his chest. His arm bent down so that he was playing with the tips of her hair as it rested against her shoulder blades. She put her arm on his chest and her fingers danced over the skin there.

“Want to talk about it?” he asked quietly.

“We were in a car wreck,” Eliza said in a barely audible whisper.

“You and I were in a car wreck?”

“Yeah,” Eliza said and licked her lips as fresh tears came to her eyes. “We were happy, Brian. We were riding in the car, and you kissed my hand and I looked up to another car about to hit us head on. You were thrown out of the car, I think. When I was finally able to get out of my side, I climbed out of the car to get to you, but it wasn’t you.”

“What do you mean?” Brian asked, going still.

“It had been you driving, and you when we got hit, but when I got out of the car, I was lying on the ground. I was dying.”

Brian felt teardrops hit his chest and he wrapped both arms around Eliza, turning his body so that he was facing her.

“It was a dream, princess; it was just a dream,” he said and kissed the top of her head.

“My fucking nightmares,” she said and laughed, before sniffing one last time.

He smelled like home, and Eliza yawned. She’d missed sleeping like this so much. It didn’t take long for her to fall asleep.



Sometime later, she woke up to find her arm numb. She was still in the same position, curled into Brian’s side, but her right shoulder was underneath her, and her arm was behind her back. She grunted and pulled her arm around to her front. The clock beside the bed read that it was almost noon. She needed to get back to Katie’s house before someone woke up and realized she wasn’t there.

She rolled onto her back and looked at the ceiling. Just as she did, Brian made a sound of protest and rolled to his side to face her. His arm splayed across her stomach and his head nuzzled into her head. She could feel and hear his breath at her ear and she hated to wake him up, but she knew she needed to get back.

Her dream had literally scared her. She’d had the same dream a couple of times before, but it had never gone that far. She’d wake up at least once a week, covered in sweat from a dream she didn’t remember. The only ones she ever remembered were the car dreams. There had to be a reason that she’d dream of Brian in that much pain, and then it hit her.

“This is how it should be everyday,” Brian breathed in her ear.

She jumped, not realizing he was awake. She smiled and turned her head towards him.

“You wake up hours after a huge Halloween party, still drunk?” she asks, giggling.

“Me waking up next to you, hours after a huge Halloween party and we’re both still drunk,” Brian said, smiling back.

Eliza stretched, and lifted her head to pop her neck. While she did, Brian slid his arm under her neck. He bent his arm around her head, and she rested her elbow on his stomach and their fingers danced together as they placed their tattoos side by side. They laughed at each other and Brian laced his fingers with hers.

“You know, you’re very entertaining to watch during a concert,” she said, picking at the skin on his thumb.

“What are you talking about?”

“You’ve never Googled yourself?” Eliza asked, shifting her shoulders so she could look at his face.

“Uh, not in a while,” Brian said, smiling.

“So, not since yesterday?” she asked, scrunching up her nose.

“Ha, ha,” he said, rolling his eyes.

“For real, though. Hand me your phone,” she said.

“Where’s your phone?”

“It’s at Katie’s; hand me your phone, please.”

He rolled his eyes but he didn’t move to get it. Instead, he rolled on top of her and looked down.
“Make me.”

“Brian, seriously?”

“Eliza, pussy?”

She just looked up at him and he saw the sparkle in her eye. He realized a bit too late he was in a bad position because she instantly attacked the one spot she knew would get him.

She had a grip on his hip and pressed her thumb into the space where his hip and pelvic bones met. At first, it tickled, but then she started pressing her thumb into the skin a bit more, making circles, and it started to turn him on.

“Eliza,” he warned, but she just smiled.

He closed his eyes and breathed deeply. She stopped her movements and looked up at him. He grinned down at her before he closed the space between them and captured her lips with his. Her hands instantly moved to either side of his stomach and she squeezed. He groaned into her mouth and bit down on her bottom lip. He could feel her squirm underneath him, and his ego lifted a few notches.

“No,” Eliza said as he moved to attack her neck.

She pushed on his chest and put some distance between them.

“Eliza, what the fuck?” he asked, sitting down to the side of her. “You stare at me all night last night, you kiss me in the bathroom, you obviously want me, and you have a nightmare and you come here. Why the fuck should I stop?”

“Because we can’t,” she said quietly.

“Why can’t we? Because Val and Katie and Jimmy are being assholes? Is that why we can’t be together?”

“No,” she said, but she didn’t sound convincing.

“Give me one fucking good reason why we shouldn’t be together right now,” Brian said, fuming; he was pissed.

“Because one of us always jumps to the wrong fucking conclusion and fucks up the relationship!” Eliza screamed at him.

He stared at her wide-eyed and she rubbed her hands over her face.

“Brian, I didn’t come here to fight with you. I came here because you’re my comfort zone. I came here because I know you’d make everything better. I’m not saying no to forever. In fact, I’d love to be with you right now.”

“Then why aren’t we together, Eliza?” Brian asked, exasperated.

“Do you remember three years ago? When you were going through that shit with Amber, and David, and how we’d spend the days in the studio, and even though you and I had seen each other all day, you’d still walk down the beach and we’d spend all night out on the beach?”

“Yeah,” Brian said, frowning.

“Do you remember how there was like two weeks where we had like a total of thirty-six hours of sleep?”

“Yes,” Brian said, not knowing where she was going with this.

“We told each other everything, Brian. We didn’t hold anything back, and we were happy. Why? Because we were friends. Once we got into a relationship, it was like everything fucking changed. We were hiding feelings, hiding kisses, and we weren’t talking. Sure, we were speaking, but we weren’t saying anything.”

Brian frowned, but he knew what she was saying was true. “Are you saying you want to be done?”

Shock ripped through her. Did she want a life without Brian? There was no way that could really happen. That would mean she would have to stop talking to Katie because she and Zacky were dating, and he was in the band with Brian. The same went for Val, too. She could forget about hanging out with Jimmy, because of the same reasons. If she let go of Brian…she let go of her whole life. The dream...

Eliza opened her mouth and her eyes at the same time. She shook her head in disbelief. “No! God no, fuck no, Brian! I just got finished telling you I would love to be with you.”

He watched her laugh and he was even more confused. She leaned up on her knees and kissed him on the mouth before falling back into her Indian-style position. She ran a hand through her hair and pushed onside behind her ear.

“What I’m saying is that I don’t want anyone else, Brian.”

She smiled as the smile slowly came to his face. She saw it falter as she opened her mouth to speak again.

“I don’t want anyone else, but what I think you and I need to do, if you’re willing, is work on that friendship again. We need to go back to three years ago when we’d spend all night on the beach and ride around in cars together singing songs. We need to go back to when I would laugh whenever you said the word ‘moist’, and we need to get our friendship back. My dream made me realize something. I dreamt something horrible happened to you, and when I looked at you…I saw myself. What I realized from that is if something happens to you, Brian, something happens to me. I am nothing without you.”

“Eliza, I haven’t wanted anyone else except you since the day you showed up in my life again. I think it was that first night, knowing you didn’t fawn over us; rather you just became one of us that I knew I was in love with you. I’ve never been in love with someone as much as I’ve been in love with you. If it takes doing what you’re asking to win you back, I’m more than willing.”

Eliza smiled, happy tears brimming her eyes as she reached up to touch his cheek. “Rough on the outside, soft on the inside; typical rockstar.”

“Ouch,” he said, laughing.

“I said that about you the morning after that first night we spent on the beach. When you told me you ate a toenail.”

“Ew, thank you for reminding me,” Brian said, scrunching up his face.

Eliza laughed and fell back on the pillows. Brian turned around and scooted off the bed.

“Let me piss, and then we’ll get you back to Katie’s,” he said, smiling at her.

“Real classy, Brian,” she said, rolling her eyes.

She rolled over and pressed “play” on his iPod, the music filling the air. She hummed along to the song playing, until she started singing. Brian stuck his head out of the bathroom door to watch her, his toothbrush hanging out of the side of his mouth. She was braiding a strand of hair above her head, lying flat on her back, singing the song softly. He missed her voice.

Sighing, he turned and finished brushing his teeth. He moved from the bathroom to what was once their closet, now his, and pulled out a t-shirt. He shrugged it on, ran a hand through his hair and looked back at Eliza.

“You want a shirt?” he asked.

“I think I’m good,” Eliza said, not looking away from her hair as she braided a second strand.

“Eliza, you’re wearing a sports bra, basketball shorts, and flip flips. I don’t think they’re going to believe you were out for a run, but if you had a t-shirt, you could say you went for coffee or something. I’ll even give you one of mine.”

She lifted her head, her hands still holding the strand of hair and her eyes lit up. “Can we really get coffee?”

“Sure,” he laughed at her child-like face, but he found himself saying yes.

“I don’t think I should wear one of your shirts, though. That might give everything away.”

“Eliza, do you want coffee or not?”

Instantly, she jumped off the bed. An idea struck him, and he went to his closet. In the back, hanging up nicely was her comfort shirt. The grey material drew his eye immediately, and he smiled at the “METALLICA” written on the front. He pulled it off of the hanger and held it out, coming out of the closet.

“What about this?” he asked.

“Holy fuck!” she exclaimed, coming up to take the shirt from him. “I’ve been looking for this everywhere! Why did you have it?”

“I think it got mixed into my things when we were in London,” Brian said, scratching the back of his head.

“Oh, okay,” she said and pulled it over her head. “Coffee, now?”

Brian rolled his eyes but he smiled.

“Yes, coffee now.”