story of my life
a friend in need
i stopped at the door and banged on it in panic, i didnt knock until Carly's mom, Marcy, answered, they had still been sleeping, her husband, Artie... they looked at me with sleepy confused eyes.
"hi Annie, whats wrong" they asked, what wasnt wrong? i thought to myself.
"my mom, shes not breathing, help" i said between jagged breaths, my asthma catching up to me. Artie quickly got dressed and followed me back. carly's family was like a second family to me, they always looked out for me, and took care of me when my mom couldnt, Artie was the closet man i'd ever had to having a father, and Marcy always had somesort of homade thing cooking up in the kitchen after school. they took me in like one of their own, and carly, she was my best friend, she brought the meaning"so close we're sisters" to a whole new level, we talked about everything to gether, she tutored me, i confided in her, she taught me how to roller skate! the Olands were the sweetest family i'd ever met.
we ran back to the house and i told Artie what had happened, his eyes grew wide with shock, this literally happened out of nowhere, my mom was only 37 years old, she was healthy, strong and had the biggest heart, never turning anyone away, everyone always came before her. she had taken my grandpas death pretty hard, he had passed away six weeks earlier. from there it all seemed to get glommy, the night before was just a way to have fun and remember the good times.
Artie comforted me, but i was all emotionless, not quite in shock but not letting out my feelings, i was sereal, i didnt believe that she was dead, no not at that point, she wasnt dead to me. but i couldnt say that she was still alive, either. that might be a promise that would break, and i didnt want to assume anything.my mom and i were just kind of stuck in the middle right then, she couldve been dead or alive, and i didnt want tofind out, in fear that it might be the worse of the two. not many things ran through my mind at one point. i just knew i wanted to feel safe, and that i wanted to have people i knew. people i loved and cared about, that cared and loved me, that cared about my mom.
it seemed like forever, that we waited, i knew we were waiting for some sort of authorty would show up, cops, but time seemed to drag out together, it was eary, part of me wanted to run back inside and continue screaming at my mom to wake up, to watch her open her eyes, have her eyes be tired as hell, but at least they would be alive, i didnt care if anything happened i didnt care if they had had sex that night, i didnt care if she smelled bad, or had that scary glazed look, i just wanted her to be there again, be awake...
i wanted her back, i just wanted to hear her say it back, just one last time, i wanted her to answer my last "i love you".
"hi Annie, whats wrong" they asked, what wasnt wrong? i thought to myself.
"my mom, shes not breathing, help" i said between jagged breaths, my asthma catching up to me. Artie quickly got dressed and followed me back. carly's family was like a second family to me, they always looked out for me, and took care of me when my mom couldnt, Artie was the closet man i'd ever had to having a father, and Marcy always had somesort of homade thing cooking up in the kitchen after school. they took me in like one of their own, and carly, she was my best friend, she brought the meaning"so close we're sisters" to a whole new level, we talked about everything to gether, she tutored me, i confided in her, she taught me how to roller skate! the Olands were the sweetest family i'd ever met.
we ran back to the house and i told Artie what had happened, his eyes grew wide with shock, this literally happened out of nowhere, my mom was only 37 years old, she was healthy, strong and had the biggest heart, never turning anyone away, everyone always came before her. she had taken my grandpas death pretty hard, he had passed away six weeks earlier. from there it all seemed to get glommy, the night before was just a way to have fun and remember the good times.
Artie comforted me, but i was all emotionless, not quite in shock but not letting out my feelings, i was sereal, i didnt believe that she was dead, no not at that point, she wasnt dead to me. but i couldnt say that she was still alive, either. that might be a promise that would break, and i didnt want to assume anything.my mom and i were just kind of stuck in the middle right then, she couldve been dead or alive, and i didnt want tofind out, in fear that it might be the worse of the two. not many things ran through my mind at one point. i just knew i wanted to feel safe, and that i wanted to have people i knew. people i loved and cared about, that cared and loved me, that cared about my mom.
it seemed like forever, that we waited, i knew we were waiting for some sort of authorty would show up, cops, but time seemed to drag out together, it was eary, part of me wanted to run back inside and continue screaming at my mom to wake up, to watch her open her eyes, have her eyes be tired as hell, but at least they would be alive, i didnt care if anything happened i didnt care if they had had sex that night, i didnt care if she smelled bad, or had that scary glazed look, i just wanted her to be there again, be awake...
i wanted her back, i just wanted to hear her say it back, just one last time, i wanted her to answer my last "i love you".
♠ ♠ ♠
this is what went through my head at the time, alot of drabble, its hard for me to remember what happened last july, some of it is vivd like it happened merely hours ago, other parts seem like mybe i just made it up. but it was all real, as much as i want to deny it.