Without You It's Hard To Survive

I was pulling on my bikini top when my door flew open, I let out a yelp and covered my chest,”god dammit Cameron!” I rolled my eyes and turned my back to him so I could adjust myself, he just laughed,”aww, come on now Shelbs, I was just coming in to see if you needed any help....and the others thought you may have fallen, ...knocked yourself out, ...died.”

I shot him a playful angered glare, and crossed my arms,” you all have so much faith in me.” I put on my sunglasses then gasped as I heard someone up top turn up “Hurts So Good” by John Mellencamp then yelled, “this is our song!” and took off in dead sprint to reach the very top deck were everyone was.

Just as I reached the top step the lyrics started to play, making Wes, Ashton, Tiffany, & I start singing at the top of our lungs and dancing, “when I was a young boy! Said put away those young boys ways.” The four of us paraded around the deck, still singing, Cam sat down at the table, him and Damien laughed. When the song was finally over we all took a seats and all laughed, “when I die you guys better play this and Everytime We Touch at my funeral, or I'll come back to haunt your asses.” Cam looked at Ashton like she was crazy for saying that, I cracked open a beer, took a swig then turned to Damien, “dude, I know that by now you know the words to this song, we listen to it like every week, why don't you ever sing with us?”

“Cause I didn't like it the first time I heard it and I still don't like it now,” he took a drink then leaned back in his chair. Wes laughed evilly, “okay now we have to play nothing but the music you don't like all day!”

“Yes, this means Joan Jett,”Ashton let out cackle and wiggled her fingers together. Uh oh, not Joan Jett...not with me drinking...especially not with Cam around. This is going to end up bad and on film...I just know it. Tiffany jumped up and pointed at me,”this means Shelby's sexy lap dancing, AND, making the guys feel awkward! Beautiful!” I groaned along with Wes and Damien,”not sexy dancing.”

“Whoa, Shelb's can sexy dance? Wait...lap dance? I have to see this, “ Cam sent a smirk at me that made me blush hard core.

Wes laughed uneasily. “yes...yes she can....and she's very good at it and other things, it makes Damien and I very uncomfortable, so if there is any sexy dancing of the lap area, please let it be later in the night when we are all smashed.”

Damien nodded,”yeah, lets go for way past smashed. I feel awkward just thinking about her sexy dancing.”

Us girls laughed, I was still blushing “don't worry, there will be no sexy dancing. Cam's here and I don't want it to end up on tape.” Cam laughed and put an arm over my shoulder,”I never let the camera follow me into the bedroom.” I laughed and just rolled my eyes at him. “Dude, you're not gonna believe this but, she totally got offered a job in the porn business once,” Ashton sounded way too excited to say that and made it sound way worse than what actually happened. It made the boys choke though,”WHAT?!”

“That sounded bad, so thank you for making me sound like a big oh hoe. But let me just say that the “freak show” thing that some one at one of the shoots told me about, was not the kinda of circus I want to join,” I laughed at the still wheezing guys. Wes was in tears and waving his hands dramatically,”oh my god, no way. That was for porn?! I am so glad you didn't say yes!” Damien muffled out an agreement as Tiffany just kept laughing, “it was the best interview ever cause none of us ever realized how weird it was that all these young, skinny girls, and then like super buff dudes were in this room together without anything with them. We walk into the room and there's this guy and a chick, a cheap camera set up, we look around and the-”

Tiffany was laughing too hard finish what she was saying so I figured I'd tell the rest,”there was all these cheap bed room, living room areas set up, we all three look at each other like “da fuq is going on?!” I'm expecting just an empty room, but I'm like whatever and walk in front of the camera with my bag of swords in arm. The guy looks at Tiffany and Ashton and asked what they were in here for, I told them to make sure nothing went wrong, and if it did they knew what to do. Him and the chick look at me with the craziest look ever, then the guy just looks at them then back to me slowly and goes, you do know what this interview is for right? By now I'm thinking I'm gonna hunt that dick down and break his neck, but I just kinda looked around then back at the dude and go. Well some one told me that you guys needed new talent, but now I'm thinking that, even though my skills could probably be used here, I'm in the wrong area of show biz. He just laughed and nodded, I apologized for wasting his time then as I go to leave he ask me what exactly my skills are. I pulled a sword out my bag and was like, I swallow swords, I can eat, spit fire, I'm a bit of a contortionist the cliché side show thing. He asked me to show him anyway cause he'd never seen any swallow a sword before, so I did. I spat fire, made my body do all the crazy shit it can do, ya know. Him and the girl both were really quiet for a moment then clapped for me, I felt stupid cause I just placed three swords in my throat at once for some creepo porn dick. Then he came over, shook my hand and was like, we would totally hire you so if you ever want to join us we'll gladly take you.” I couldn't help but to laugh at the guys, Wes and Damien had a mixed look of horror and surprised, Cam's look kind of made me uncomfortable because it reminded me of the look every guy gives me when they find out I can swallow swords.

I took a long drink of my beer then finished telling the story,” I of course said no, but for some reason it kind of makes me happy that he told that, is that weird?”

“Go figure, Shelby's probably the only virgin that could ever have a job as a porn star and stay a virgin,” we laughed at Tiffany and I raised my beer in the air in a victorious manner.

“I don't believe it, there's no way,” Cam shook his head in denial and finished his beer. I looked at him shocked,”dude it totally happened. He even gave us some free smut...for some reason?” He shook his head again and re-situated himself in his chair,”not that, I don't believe the virgin part. There is noway in this world that you are still a virgin.”

“I'm sorry to disappoint you but, yeah, I am,” I knew there was really no point in trying to convince him that I was, no one ever really believes me. He just shook his head at me again as I stood to get myself another drink,”nope. Bullshit.”

“Dude, she really is. She's really paranoid about getting pregnant before she gets married so she doesn't even take the chance,” I smiled at Wes as he so kindly defended me. I grabbed a another beer out of the cooler then just leaned against the railing,”thank you Wes, he's not lying. There's a curse on the girls of my family to have kids when they're eighteen, so I just never had sex then, but now I'm just afraid to find out what'll happen if I have sex, so it ain't gonna happen till there's a rang on the fang-er, and I change my last name one more, and for the final time.”

I knew he still didn't believe me but I don't care. Majority of our time for the day was spent in the water, jumping from the deck, going through the slide, and consuming alcohol. I had just about reached my limit on booze when we decide to head back up top and let Wes fix a small something to eat on the grill before it was too late and we were too smashed to function . The rest of us sat at the table again, mainly talking about the ridiculous things we have done. I was feeling a pretty good buzz so finished off my last beer as a house boat much larger than ours pulled up beside us side by side so I was looking at the tall, tanned, lean bro hoe looking girl dead on. She leaned over the side a little so her boobs would show, “hey cutie with the rocking body, how bout you dump the trash and come join us?”

We all knew she talking to Cam but before he could even open his mouth I was already talking,”sorry sweetheart but, uh, I'm not into girls.” Ashton already had the camera out and rolling.

The girl scoffed,”not you, the one to your left,” she looked right at Cam but he just laughed. Ashton was the one sitting to my left,”well Ashton, she must be talking about you then cause Cam's on my right!”

Ashton laughed as I held up my right arm and glared back at the girl, “I'm not into chicks either, sorry bro.” Everyone but the girl laughed, Sweetie if you're trying to piss someone off you came to the wrong boat.

The girl scoffed again.”anyway. You should dump the bimbo with the fake breast and come over here with us, I bet we could all have a lot of fun.” The small group of girls behind her giggled while everyone over here gasped, Oh, now I'm pissed, these babies ain't fake. Time to bust a hoe.

Cam laughed at her and shook his head no,”naw, I think it's safer for me over here,” then scooted his chair back as I stood.

“Oh little girl, I know you did not just say these bad boys are fake,” I pointed down at my boobs, “cause let me ask you somethin, do they really look fake now?!” On the word now I lifted the bottom of my top over my breast flashing her, and everyone else. I heard everyone gasp loudly and the thuds of bottles dropping, I lowered my top down and fix myself back in my seat. The other boat drove off leaving me with a deck of silent, jaw dropped, friends staring at me.

“Now, who's the bimbo with the fake breast?! Cheap piece of trash, how dare she,” I was blushing but no one could tell because I was also red from anger. Damien just sat across from me with a horrified expression on his face as Tiffany began a slow clap for me, Ashton sat down the camera and joined in next, it took Cam and Wes a little longer to join but they did. By the time they had finished I was laughing and they were cheering.

“That just happened guys! Shelby just flashed everyone,” Wes sat down between Ashton and Damien, who was still quiet and hadn't moved.

Damien finally looked at me,”I just saw your tits. I never wanted this day to come, but it happened, and I was right in front of you. Just both boobs, right there, in my face.” We all laughed at him and Tiffany pulled him into a hug,”it's okay Damien, we all knew it would happen some day. Everyone else in the house has already seen them, it was meant to happen. Just except it.”

Cam laughed and kept staring at me,” I don't even know what to say about that....you have a nice pair though.”

I sat up straight and scoffed at him,” nice, my boobs are better than nice. I am not confident on many thing about myself but I know for a fact that I have amazing hair, boobs, and cheekbones. Now, hand me a beer.”

Everyone chuckled as Cam popped the cap of another beer and handed it to me. I'm going over my limit tonight, I think I deserve it. Wes finished cooking the burgers and we ate, I had a lot few more to drink, and was feeling pretty damn good about myself. We were all feeling pretty good by now. I watched Tiffany walk over to my iPod on the dock pick up, put it back down, and turn the volume knob. I smiled at her as the sound of Joan Jett's “I Love Rock 'N Roll” began to blared out of the speakers, I jumped up and started to clap to the rhythm then I started to sway with music and sing along with the lyrics. I walked around be hind Damien as he and Wes scooted their chairs under the table, I ran my hands down the front his chest then messed up his hair teasing him for a moment. Everyone laughed as I danced away from him and turned to Cam , who just sat there with a smirk on his face, so I decided to have a little fun and give him what he want.

“Cam, don't do it buddy! You're gonna have to take a cold-- ooh, oh no, it's too late,” Wes laughed nervously as I pushed Cam against the back of his chair then grabbed the arms of the chair and pushed him further away from the table while biting my on my bottom lip slowly. I ran both hands down his chest leaving scratches as I squatted in front of him still moving my hips and body from side to side. He pressed his back against the chair harder, as I slowly rose back into standing position and leaned in close with my face barley inches from his. I pulled off his sunglasses and tossed them behind me, I bit my lip as I ran my hands through his hair roughly pulling his head the right and lowered myself on his lap while keeping my waist moving back and forth. He chuckled and look me up and down with a smirk on his lips. That fucking smirk, I swear to god Cam if there weren't people here we'd totally be tangled in sheets right now.

“Oh my god,” is all I heard from behind me.

I moved my face closer to his but not so close that we were touching and that I could I still see in to his crystal blue eyes , I dragged my nails from the back of his neck down the front of his chest again, this time he gritted his teeth and shifted under me then ran his hands up the outside of my thighs and grabbed a hold of my hips tightly. I went to stand up but Cam pulled me back down, and held me still, neither one of us could look away from each other. Felt his hands move from my hips and up to my waist and his lip crash into mine. Oh my god was right. My eyes closed and my hands landed on his shoulders then ran down his arms as every part of me suddenly fell weak. When Cam pulled away my eyes were still closed but eventually fluttered open, to see a pair of blue one staring back. I took a deep breath as his hands ran back down my side and rested behind me.

“Is it...uhh...bad that I'm kind....”Tiffany was the first to speak but didn't finish what she was sayin.

“Really turned on now?” I heard Ashton chuckle lightly.

“Nope,...not...at...all,” Wes spoke up slowly.

“Good,” was all I Damien said.

Realizing what just happened I gasped,oh my god! oh my god! oh my god! Cam totally has a girlfriend my in Australia, this is bad. Dammit Shelby! I stood up quickly while covering my mouth the tips of my fingers and shaking my head,”oh my god, I'm so sorry.” I took off for the stairs so I could be alone in my room but Cam followed quickly behind.

“No, Shelby, wait,” I felt the tips of his fingers brush against one of my wrist as he reached out for me when I got to the bottom of the stairs. I pulled my arm forward and ran inside the house then into my room slamming my door shut in face and locking it. I crawled on my bed covering my head with pillows to muffle my crying and his voice from behind the door. Cam finally left me alone and I finally fell asleep.