Without You It's Hard To Survive

I woke up with pain shooting through my arm again, I sat up and looked around the dark living room till eyes adjusted then made my way to my room. The green lights on my alarm clock said it was around two the morning so it wasn't ungodly late, I decided to try and take a quick shower. I grabbed a pair of pants and a Superman shirt then made my way to the bath room, getting undressed was quiet a challenge but I did it without any major damage to the arm. I took my shower carefully then dried and got dressed even more carefully. I stepped back into my room and turned on the lamp beside my bed and found Cam laying on top of the covers asleep, I hated to wake him but I had too, my bandage needed to be changed and I have no clue what he did with the stuff nor could I do it on my own.

I shook his shoulder lightly,”Cam?”

He let out a groggy groan but never opened his eyes so I tried again only shaking him harder this time,”Cam, wake up.”

He opened his eyes a little then shot up,”what? Are you okay?”

I couldn't help but to giggle at his just awoken confused cuteness,”yeah I'm fine, chill. I just need my arm stuff changed.”

He nodded and rubbed the sleep from his eyes then stood up and walked to kitchen with me following,”what time is it?”

“Umm...like almost three, sorry for waking you but I took a shower and figured it'd be better to just change it now. Plus you were still in your regular clothes,” I smiled at him as he unwrapped the gauze from around my forearm and stuck it under the running sink faucet.

I winced a little and washed it off as he grabbed the first aid kit and the stuff the doc gave me earlier,”it's alright, still hurt as bad as earlier?”

I shook my head and found myself staring at him closely as he fixed up my arm.What did I do to deserve the time I'm giving with you? When he was done he smiled at me,”what?”

I blushed and shook my head,”it's nothing.”

“If you say so, “ he leaned down and cupped my chin as he stared into my eyes. I stood up on my tiptoes and began to smile as his faced inched closer to mine then finally placed a soft kiss upon my lips. Seriously, someone tell me what I did...and that this will never end.

I just smiled as he let an arm fall to my waist on the way back to my room, once there I carefully crawled into bed and laid on my left side then lifted the cover for Rift as he crawled under too and lay in the bend on my knees. Cam changed then laid down in front of me in th bed and scooted closer so that I could rest my head the crook of arm and lay my arm on his stomach. I knew he was pretty much asleep already so I decided not to say anything and just laid there till I drifted to sleep too.

The next time I woke up the sun was just starting to rise, the slits in the window shades let some light seep into my room giving it a calming blue cast of light. This is my favorite time of day, I always wake up and just lay in my bed listening to the world outside waking up and some of it going to bed. I watched the silhouette of Cam's torso rising and falling as he breathed in his sleep, my hand was still resting on his abdomen when I tried to wiggle my fingers. His chest jerked then went back to normal, I could feel the scar that ran from just under his sternum to below his belly button then slowly traced it with the tips of my fingers as I thought about what it was from.

Cam carefully slid his hand up under mine and covered his stomach, I snapped put of daze and propped myself up on my elbow and looked at him,”sorry.”

He shook his head at me and flashed a sleepy smile,”it's okay, it just tickled thats all. I don't really remember much about it...just in case you were wondering.”

I shook my head and sat up,”I wasn't, I was thinking about what happened but I'm not gonna question you about it cause I'm sure you're sick of talking about it, plus I'll start thinking about how I would've felt if I had been in your family's shoes then I'll start crying....kinda like now.” I could feel my nose start to burn like it always did before I got teary eyed or cried.

He chuckled at me then lightly held my bad hand that was still on his stomach,”I'm okay with talking about it, but please don't cry.”

I smiled at him as we just stared at each other for a couple minuets, I began to chew on my lip as I thought, getting a curious look from Cam,”what?”

I looked down at our hands covering his scar and sighed, then awkwardly pulled up the left side of shirt exposing my side along with part of my back and stomach,” do you see the scar that goes from just below my shoulder blade to almost my boob?”

He held my shirt up better and ran his thumb over it sending a chills over my body,”yeah...what happened?”

“It's nothing compared to yours but it has to do with something I think you should know,” I paused for moment then took a deep breath,”when I was about nine years old my dog, Odie,had gotten in the house on accident, he didn't know any better because he had seen one of our other dogs being let in the house so of course he thought he could too. My so called “dad” was really drunk and started to chase him around the house, he flipped tables, chairs, even the couch trying to get to him. He had Odie pinned in the corner when I jumped in front of Odie and just looked up at this horrible monster with a gardening hoe in hand, I wasn't gonna let him kill my only friend...so I took the hit. He saw me covering the dog, he even paused for a short moment but hit me anyway.”

A few tears had rolled down my face when I reached back and touched it, Cam ran his fingers over it as he sat up,”did anybody do anything about?”

I shook my head and rested it on Cam's Shoulder as he pulled me into a hug.”no, my own mother covered for him, he's not even my biological father and it wasn't the first or last time he did something like that either.”

I feel him tense up, I knew he didn't know what to say, what do you say to someone that just told they were abused by their father. I shrugged my way out of his embrace and looked at him.”Cam, a lot of shitty things have happened to me...mainly as a young child and they've left me pretty messed up, but please do not start treating me any different than you would if you didn't know this. If you do it'll just drive me crazy, no body else in this house does so you better not.”

“It's kinda hard to hear you say something like that...but okay,” he scratched the back of neck as he thought then sighed.

“I mean it Cam, “ I brushed some hear behind my ear and spoke in a more serious tone.

He nodded,”I know.”

I laid back down and poked Cam in the back playfully getting him to turn and raise an eyebrow, I flashed a smile at him then stuck my tongue out. He chuckled and mocked me as he laid on his side facing me then kissed my forehead,”how's your hand?”

“Umm, it feels like giant bee stung me more than it does a giant, evil, Australian, devil creature bit me,” I held up my hand and slightly moved a couple fingers.

He laughed pulling me closer,”well not all of us bit that hard.”

“Ohhh, you and Biko get kinky aye,” I teased at him.

“Me and Bilko don-” he chuckled but I cut him off.

“Oh don't even try to deny it, there's totally a bromance between you two, but it's okay I'll be here for you both if you ever deiced to have a love child,” I laughed at myself.

He just sighed,”a love child? He's just my mate.”

“Yeah, your homosexual life mate. He told me all about you two last night, I promised not to come between you two and your bro time, we worked it all out,” Cam just shook his head at me. “He even said I could sing at your wedding.”

He chuckled,”okay, that's enough. I'm not marrying Bilko, or having any love children with him.”

I was still giggling.”whatever you say, we did talk though, he said you were pretty scared when you heard what happened to me and that it was better to have you worry a little than be mad.”

“I was and he's right,” he smiled rested an arm on my stomach.

I giggled lightly,”see, he's totally your life mate.”

He scoffed and rolled his eyes,”oh, what about you with Ashton and Tiffany? You three lez it up every where.

“Damn right we do, they are my life mates, we even have rings. Wes and Damien are my life mates too, so don't even try to turn this around cause it won't work. I'm not gonna deny that the people in house have a weird relationship, I really couldn't live without them, they may be horrible, twisted, dark souled people but I love them,” I laughed at his attempt to turn my joke around.

“Weird relationship? Shelb, not to seem like a dick but you all are beyond the point of weird, they helped you get ready for the other night, and you all constantly grab and lay on each other,” he had a point...well a couple actually.

“Touche, but that's just how we've always been...it's kinda how we show that we love each other. You don't just let people grab your tits or smack your ass and get away with it unless you love them, if polygamy was legal we'd totally marry each other. That reminds me, I really hope you don't get... like jealous or upset over that cause it's not something we can just turn off, we can't help it. There's really nothing to worry about though, not with me and those two... or me and anyone else for that matter,” I kinda rambled but just smiled at him when I was done.

He chuckled,”of course I do a little.”

“You shouldn't, I'm not that kind of person. I'm weird when it comes to loyalty, one time Ashton made me drive her car, it's a Chevy and I'm a Ford gal, I threw a fit and slept in my car I felt so bad,” I laughed at myself a little but I was serious.

He chuckled and kissed my cheek,”what have I gotten myself into?”

“Oh boy, you have no clue, we tried to warn you though and now you're stuck with us,” I let out an goofy evil laughed making Cam roll his eyes at me.

He fell back a sleep for about two more hours while I just lay awake thinking. When he finally woke up we just spent most of day in bed watching “kid” movies and being silly. It was really nice, I'm not some tense weirdo always on edge around Cam, I can be me...not matter how weird that is.