Without You It's Hard To Survive

“So what do ya want to eat tonight for supper, you choose,”I asked as I handed the panting, eleven year old boy across from me a bottle of water then watched him chug a good portion of it. I took a couple of drinks from mine then leaned back against the island in the middle of my kitchen.

Dani thought for a moment then smiled,”some of that spicy Cajun rice stuff! I really like that, mom tries to fix it sometimes but it's just not the same as when you fix it.”

I love this kid, he's my nephew but not by blood, I met him and his mom when we first moved here. I promised her I'd watch him today while she went off and did something that I didn't even bother hearing before I said yes. I smiled at him and pulled out my phone to check the time,”and that is why I love you little man, we have the same stomach...and taste in music...and sports. We got an hour or so before everyone starts heading home, so lets go out and get the stuff then start cooking.”

He hopped out of his chair and headed towards the front door with me trailing behind, it's been about two weeks since I got bit so my arm was healed up and I could actually do things now. We were packing up the car with the stuff for tonight and a couple other thing I thought might be needed or wanted around the house when my phone started yelling at me.

I smiled knowing who it was and answered it,”you rang?”

I heard Cam chuckle as I giggled a little,”you sound awfully happy.”

“Well I am, I've had an awesome day today.”

“Well good, I was wondering if you could come pick me up at The Compound,” I heard a loud yelling from Cam's side of the phone then him laugh.

I scoffed dramatically,”I guess I could.”

“You guess you could, who waited on your ass while you laid in bed a couple weeks ago,” he teased me.

“You wouldn't let me do anything! But,yeah, I'll be there in a couple minutes,” I got in the car and waited on Dani as he put away the cart.

“It was for your own good!”He went to say something else but began yelling at someone around him,”no! Don't do it, don't you dare! Shelb I gotta go!”

I laughed once he hung up then turned to Dani who was in the backseat,”I have a surprise for ya.”

“Ohh, what is it?!”

“I can't tell you silly, then it wouldn't be a surprise,” he laughed at me as I turned on the car and made our way to The Compound. Once we arrived I heard Dani gasp making a huge smile form across my face, I hope my boys are as awesome as Dani...who as I kidding, of course they'll be!

We both got out of the car and made our way over the garage finding Brian,”hey Brian, do you know where Cam is?”

He laughed and walked over to us,”yeah, he's out on the track still, some of the boys are having a little show down.”

“Well he told me to come and pick him up....but then there was yelling and he hung up,” I explained then felt Dani grab my arm getting me to look down at him. His mouth was gapped open but smiling all at the same time, I laughed and put my hand on his head messing with his hair,” this is Dani, my nephew...he's kind of a fan of yours....and by kind of I mean a really big fan.”

Brian laughed and stuck his hand out and shook Dani's,”hey Dani, always nice to meet a fan...especially one as young as you.”

“Hi, this is by far the coolest thing ever!” I couldn't help but to laugh at his excitement.

Brian laughed too, “well I have to get back to fixing things, but I could have Hailie show you around the place till Cam shows up.”

Brian looked at me for permission but I just shrugged,”uhh, I don't know...”

Dani shook my arm giving me puppy eyes,”pleeaaasse Aunt Shelbs?!”

I laughed then nodded,”alright, but be careful, your mom will kill me if anything bad happens...plus there's no way I could live with myself.”

“They'll be fine Aunt Shelbs,” Brian patted my shoulder then called out for Hailie who came running around the corner in no time. After they left I sighed and shrugged out of not knowing what to do. “They'll be okay Shelby, you don't have to worry.”

“Oh no, I wasn't worrying about that, I just didn't know what to do now. He's kept me busy all day,” I shoved my hands in my pockets and started to rock on my heels.

“Boys will do that to ya, just be lucky you don't have two to deal with twenty-four-seven,” he laughed as he sat down on a rollie stool.

I shook my head and crossed my arms,”naw, I actually want a bunch of boys so I love spending as much time as I can with him, helps to get me prepared. He's not too bad, I just haven't seen him in a while so we're pretty excited about today.”

“A bunch? I hope you can handle that...especially if they end up being Cam's,” I began to blush so he laughed,”Marissa's inside if you wanna go in.”

“I don't wanna just walk into your house, that'd be rude. Plus I don't want Dani thinking I left him...even though I'm pretty sure he wouldn't mind,”I smiled as I heard him and Hailie laugh loudly in the distance.

Brian walked me over the door and opened it,”they're kids, easily distracted, now go on in.”

I giggled and entered the house walking in the kitchen finding Marissa fixing something in a bowl for Hudson,”hey, Brian let me in.”

She smiled largely as she walked over and gave me a hug”well hello, it's so nice to see you again! Cam told us what happened with the spider, I hope you're okay.”

I giggled and hug her back lightly,”yeah, it's all good now. How have you been?”

She stepped back over to the bowl and huffed,” today's been a little crazy, I'm trying to fix something for Hudson to eat so he will calm down and let me go to the bathroom.”

“I could watch him for ya, I know when I gotta go, I gotta go,”I laughed reached for the small boy that was rocking his pack and play back and forth from inside almost tipping it over.

She sighed loudly in relief and started to prance off,”thank you so much!”

I couldn't help but to laugh at her as I sat in the living room floor then stood Hudson up in front of me. He smiled and let out a small cackle as I fished out a quarter from my jeans pocket,”you wanna see something cool?”

He nodded and sat down as I moved to sit on my knees, “know watch closely,” I sat the quarter on the bend of my elbow as I nearly straightened my arm. I have double jointed elbows so this trick was kind of easy for me, I bent my arm a little more then suddenly straightened it out, sending the coin flying up in the air then catching it with my hand.

“Woo,” he laughed and rolled backwards.

I laughed at him and dug another coin out and repeated the trick, only this time with two coins on the same arm. This sent him into a giggle fit and only made me laughed harder, I leaned over him and tickled his sides. Marrissa came back into the room and laughed at us as she walked over and grabbed the bowl then sat on the couch, placing the bowl on the coffee table beside us.

“You seemed to be pretty good with kids,” she picked up Hudson then stood him in front of the bowl.

I caught my breath and sat beside her,”I used to not be, but after helping raise a couple I learned to love the little beast.”

“Feel free to take my two boys at anytime,” she joked and relaxed back into the couch.

“From the way you and Brian talk it sounds like the boys are a couple of hellions,” I laughed and began to watch Hudson.

She sighed and laughed lightly,”trust me, they can be. Hailie and Hayden get pretty rough with each other, they like to fight over daddy's attention. But I wouldn't trade them for the world.”

I smiled at her and sat back,”well they're lucky to have such amazing parents to watch out for them.”

She smiled and watched Hudson for a moment in awe then looked back at me,”I know you have your pets, but do you want any kids?”

I laughed an nodded,”ohh yeah, I want a big family, like seven kids minimum. People say I'm crazy but I grew up with an abusive father, a crazy mother, I didn't get along with my little sister at all, and I hardly got to see my older siblings till I got older. The closest I've ever gotten to a real family are the people I live with, our own little tribe as we like to say. It's scary to think about cause I always worry about the choices I make leading me down the path of history repeating it's self, but I'll die before I let that happen.

“Aww, sweetie I'm sorry you went through that, and yeah seven kids is crazy to me, but hey some people can do it I guess. I always thought Cam would make an excellent daddy,” I blushed hard at her last comment and she noticed. “Did I say something bad?!”

I giggled and shook my head,”no, it's just...Brian said something about me and Cam having...kids together. I've just never thought about us that far yet...we haven't even...ya know...had sex yet.”

She laughed and covered her mouth for a moment,”sorry that I embarrassed you, we just kinda figured you two were pretty serious, he seems set on the idea of starting a family soon.”

I blushed again and started to feel a rush of nervousness fall over me,”it's okay, it's just weird to hear it all...we've only been together for like two months and I don't want to rush anything and up regretting it later cause I am not gonna marry more than once.”

She nodded and giggled as she pulled Hudson on to the couch,”only two months?”

“Yeah, we've known each other for a couple years..so I guess that counts as a couple months... I'm not sure though,” I shrugged and watched Hudson sit beside me then rest his head in my lap. I giggled and poked his side lightly,”well look at you being a little flirt.”

Marrissa laughed and patted his butt,”he's just like his daddy. Do you want anything to drink?”

I shook my head and rested my arm behind Hudson as he began to drift into sleep,”naw I'm good, I would like for Cam to hurry his butt up so I could get home and fix supper before everyone else gets home and Dani has to go home.”

She laughed then raised an eyebrow, “Dani?”

“He's my nephew, he's outside with Hailie playing, they're around the same age,” I explained as Hailie and Dani came through the door laughing,”speak of the devil, there he is.”

“Hey mom, can me and Dani go play some video games,” Hailie asked as sat in her mom's lap and Dani stood beside me.

Marrissa looked to me for an answer but I just shrugged,”Cam should be getting ready to leave soon so I don't know how long you'd get to play.”

They both aww'd then took a seat in the floor at our feet and watched cartoons. Hudson was now sitting in my lap fast asleep, I looked down at Dani to find much paler than he was before, I placed the back of my had against his cheek,” you feeling alright Dani?”

He shrugged and looked back at me,” kinda, I think I just played too hard, I'll be okay once we get back to the house and I eat.”

He flashed me a cheesy smile then turned back to the cartoons, I laughed at him and ruffled his hair. I heard another door open then Brian and Cam talking to each other, I smiled but just sat where I was cause I didn't want to disturb the sleeping one cradled in my arms. Marrissa got off the couch and walked towards them and teased Cam,”sorry Cam, but I think you lost your girl to a younger man.”

“What?!” Cam raced up behind me then chuckled as he kissed my cheek.

I laughed at Cam then stood up once Dani moved out of the way, “he's a cutie and quite the charmer but I'm not into younger guys.”

They all laughed as I passed Hudson on to Brian, we said our good-byes then headed out to my car, Cam went to pick up is bag of gear but I beat him to it, he wrapped an arm around my waist as I called for Dani,”ya ready to go kiddo?”

“You bet, I am so hungry I could eat a whole horse,” he ran up to my other side, pulled Cam's arm away then put his arm around my waist and rested his head against my side.

Cam looked down at Dani then to me,”who's he!?”

I laughed as Dani stuck his out in front of me and looked up at Cam,”I'm Dani, her nephew and your worst nightmare if you hurt her. Who are you?”

Cam chuckled, then put his arm around over my shoulder and looked down at Dani,”I'm Cam, her boyfriend and much bigger than you.”

“Ohhh, okay boys, that's enough,” I laughed at the both of them as they stuck their tongues out.

Dani ran on and got in the back seat of the car as Cam followed me to the around the back so I could put his bag up. Once I got it situated Cam leaned against the car blocking me from closing the hatch. He pulled me in to a kiss then smiled at me,”you look really nice today.”

I blushed lightly then flipped the hair from my shoulder playfully,”why thank ya, it's comes naturally.”

He laughed and pulled back to him so that I was standing between his legs when I tried to walk away, I giggled and looked down at him confused,”what?”

He smiled at me as he tucked a couple stands of hair behind ear then cupped my face bringing mine closer to his pulling me in again for a kiss, only this time it lasted much longer. Once we finally parted I giggled then bit my lip,”what did they do to you?”

“Nothing, but I feel bad for last night,” he sighed and grabbed my hands and laced our fingers together.

I huffed and pulled him up,” Cam I'm your girl friend, not a tamagotchi I don't need to spend every waking second with your sexy ass. Bilko and the guys wanted to hang out with you, they're your friends I'm not gonna try and keep you from them, I wanted you to go. I wouldn't want you to try and keep me from my friends.”

He closed the lid and kissed my cheek,”so you're not mad?”

I laughed and raised an eye brow at him,”no, why the hell would I be?! Jeez, I don't know what what's her face did to you, but damn, grow a pair and do what ever you want.”

He laughed at me as we got into the car,”yes ma am.”

I shook my head at him as we headed home. I started to fix supper as soon as we got home, the boys put up the rest of the groceries then sat at the counter and watched me. Cam and Dani started to argue childishly over who I liked more so I turned to them with a knife in hand making them stop,”seriously, if you two don't stop I'll cut ya. I ain't ever had guys fight'n over me before and it ain't starting now. I likes the both of ya.”

I turned my back on them only hear them mock me quietly,”and it ain't starting now.”

I glared over my shoulder only making them laugh before Cam spoke up,”so what did you two do all day?”

Dani gasped excitedly before he spoke,”well, we ate then we went out and played with the animals for a while, then we raced on the bikes, I totally kicked Aunt Shelbs butt at it too, OH! Then I scared her into mommy mode, she didn't find it very funny, we ate again, played some games watched a couple movies...then we had to wait on your slow butt so Aunt Shelbs could fix supper.”

I laughed as I heard Cam scoff,”well excuse me for doing my job.”

I gave them both a look making them huff, I giggled and placed a cup of fruit punch in front of Dani,”I thought you loved the Metal Mulisha , why are you hating on Cam?”

Cam turned to Dani in look for an answer, Dani took a drink then cleared his throat,”he's your boyfriend, there fore I can't be nice to him till he proves himself worthy...plus mom says boyfriends are nothing but trouble anyway.”

“Aww, playing man of house are we,” I couldn't help but to tease him a little.

“Well yeah! I have to, for mom and for you cause Damien and Wes sure can't,” he was being serious and it was cute.

Cam laughed,”I agree with you there.”

Dani nodded and crossed his arms,”yeah so I'd like to be friends with you Cam but, I don't trust ya.”

Cam just there as I ran around the counter and hugged Dani tightly kissing him on the cheek,”I love you sooo much Dani.”

He hugged me back then made a face to Cam, who rolled his eyes till I moved over and hugged him and kissed his cheek. He then made a face at Dani, I went back to fixing the food, not too long after the rest of the house started to return home. Dani help set the table then went and got everybody when it ready. Dani left shortly after supper was over making me bummed. Everyone helped clean up then I headed off to bed.

I crawled into bed and got comfy and laid there on my stomach thinking about Dani and what Marrissa said about Cam. I really do want the marriage, babies, and growing thing, not just the good times though, I'm weird and look forward to fighting over bills, and what lifestyle will be lived...when someone comes home drunk off their ass. And I really like Cam, but I don't want to rush into anything and up like my mom. I wish she had never said anything cause now I'm just going to over think this. I had a great day with Dani though, I do love that boy as if he were my own...I wish he was mine actually. Watching him be over protective of me today was cute, it's nice to know I mean something to some one around here.

“Are you still awake,” Cam sat on the edge of the bed then laid back and looked at me.

I sighed and nodded,”yep, I'm just laying here thinking.”

He kissed my forehead then stood up to change,”what about”

I bit my lip not sure if I should tell him about what Marrissa said or not,”just today with Dani that's all.”

“You're sure he's not yours right? He acts just like you,” Cam laughed and rested a hand on the small of my back.

I giggled and looked at him,”sadly, he is not but I do love the little guy.”

“It seems like he loves you too, you must really mean a lot to him,” he flashed a smile that gave me a weird uneasy feeling...like something was about to happen.

“I helped raise his punk ass, he pretty much is my kid and it's nice that someone around here appreciates me. I work my ass off in this house, at least he would thank me, gimme a kiss and hug goodnight then tell me he loves me...I'm not expecting that last part but a thank you would be nice,” I groaned then pushed my face back into my pillow.

“Hey don't be like that, they all know they couldn't last very long with out you,” he pushed me on my side and scooted closer so he could hold me.

“Sorry, I guess I'm just really bummed about only spending a day with Dani,” I sniffled and nuzzled my face against his chest breathing him in.

He kissed the top on my head and rubbed my back,”it's okay....I have a little something planned for us tomorrow, hopefully it'll help make you happier since...I have to...go back home...next week.”

I frowned and wrapped my arms around him tightly, I didn't say anything for a while I just stayed in arms. I finally sighed and looked up at him,”I'm not ignoring you...I just don't know what to say other than I'll miss you...a lot.”

He didn't say anything back but kissed me. I really don't want him to go but I know his family misses him as much as I will...maybe we should have thought about this before becoming a couple. Australia is really far away...and he spends most of his time there with family and touring with Nitro Circus Live...what have we gone and started Cam? Cause what ever it is...I really don't want it to end.