Always Yours

Kennedy and I got back to how we used to be, but I didn't tell him about my cuts. I felt like he would hate me or something. My cuts had healed and I could wear short sleeves again.

It's been exactly a month since my mom left. I've been having weird feelings for awhile now and I thought about her everyday but I didn't let the boys know that I did. Although, John probably knew. He didn't bring it up as much as he used to and he only asked me if I called her yet. My answer was always no. I wasn't sure if I was ready to call her, I felt like I would just break down over the phone and I didn't really want to do that. I just wanted her to focus on getting better, not me feeling better.

It was Wednesday and I was on my way to the cafeteria. John had to go to the main office towards the end of third period and he told me not to wait for him. As I walked into the foyer in front of the cafeteria, my knees started to wobble. My breath became heavy and I stopped in the middle of the foyer. I gasped when my knees hit the cold rock of the dirty floor and I hunched over. I felt tears threatening my eyes and they spilled out like running water. I breathed out heavy and I felt someone beside me after five minutes. I didn't look up, only put my head into my hand. They rubbed my back, and spoke into my ear.

"Everyone's staring. Come on, get up." Kennedy said quietly.

I didn't put in any effort to lift myself up, Kennedy had to use all his strength. My legs were dragged and soon, Kennedy picked me up bridal style. I cried into his shirt and felt the heat on my wrist. I haven't felt it in three weeks.

Kennedy walked outside and he set me down, opening my car door and sitting me in the back seat. He shut the door after he got in and pulled me back into his chest.

"We'll wait here for John to come back," he said to me as he rubbed my back. I didn't answer him, only cried more. I just wanted John here to calm me down, I just wanted him to kiss me and tell me that everything would be okay. That I would be okay.

I stopped crying a few minutes later and I wiped my eyes before laying my head back on Kenny's chest and we stayed like that. My wrist twitched with the heat again and I lifted my head up off his chest.

"Kenny, I need to tell you something," I bit my lip.

He brushed my hair back behind my ear, "What is it?"

I bit my lip a little harder, careful not to draw blood. "I—" I stopped, looking down at my wrist and the heat started again. I felt his eyes on me and I tugged my sweatshirt sleeve up, moving away a little to show him better. His eyes went wide and I saw anger in them as he looked down at my scarred wrist. I itched it a little and saw him move to open the car door. I followed him out, "Kenny, wait," I cried.

He didn't turn around, just walked forward toward the school and I screamed after him, "Kenny!" John came sprinting out the doors but stopped when he saw an angry Kenny stomping in. He tried to stop him but Kennedy continued forward. I called after him again, my voice cracking. John looked back over to me and ran, pulling me into a hug. I pushed him away, tears threatening me again.

"Markie," he tried to touch my arm but I swatted him away. "Come on, Markie. I'll take you home."

"No," I cried, wrapped my arms around my middle. "You stay here, I'll go home."

"Markie, n—"

"Yes, John! I'll be fine." I moved to the drivers side of the car and got in, starting it up. I looked back at John when I pulled out and looked back, driving away with still blurry eyes.

As I was driving on the freeway, I switched lanes then everything went black.