Sequel: Unhinged ›
All of Me
I Don't Know How To Be Something You Miss
My thought were running a million miles per minute. I can’t believe she found out this way. Why didn’t I just tell her? I ran outside to stop her from leaving but she was already gone. Fuck. I busted through my front door, frantically looking for my keys.
“Nick.” I heard Kevin say, but I ignored it.
“Where the fuck are my keys?” I yelled
“Nick, calm down. I don’t want you driving in this state of mind.” He said softly.
“I can’t calm down. I can’t find my keys. I need to go talk to her Kev.” I said in a panic. My vision was being blurred by the tears that were forming.
“Nick.” Kevin yelled, I stopped and tried my hardest not to break down.
“I’m sorry.” He said.
I said nothing as I found my keys lying under a pile of junk mail, I clutched them tightly.
“It’s not your fault,” I began, “I should’ve told her once it happened. I’m going to go now. I can’t lose her”
--
I called and called her but no answer, that's when I had to take things to the next level. I began pounding on her front door. After a few minutes, her mom answered the door.
“Nicholas, what on earth are you doing?” She asked with a confused tone.
“I need to speak to her.”
“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.”
I tried convincing her mom but nothing was working, so I apologized before I pushed past her and made my way to D’s room. I found her wrapped up in blankets, sobbing on her bed.
I was breathing in heavily, I wanted to speak but I couldn’t. Tears fell from my eyes.
“D?” I whispered
Not a word.
“Can we talk, please?”
“Go home Nick.”
“Baby, “ I pleaded, “Talk with me.”
She sat up slightly, her eyes red and puffy from crying. “I can’t do this Nick.”
I sat next to her on the bed, “ I’m so sorry.”
“It’s one thing for you to do what you did, it’s another to hear it from someone else.” I watched as more tears fell from her eyes. I tried to wipe them away but she turned her head just enough so I couldn’t reach her.
“I’m sorry D, I can’t say it enough. I didn’t mean for this to happen. I didn’t think this would ever happen between us.”
I watched as she distracted herself by pulling a loose thread that was attached to her comforter, “Speak to me?”
“Nick, what did you do with her? Did you fuck her, what did you do?”
Her words hurt, I didn’t even mean for any of this to happen. I never wanted to hurt her.
“Mr.Walters assigned her to me for our science project. I went to her house to work on the project… I know I shouldn’t have… she kissed me D.”
“Once?”
I frowned, “No. I kissed her back, but pulled away. I told her it was wrong and I couldn’t but she didn’t listen. She kissed me again, I didn’t stop her. We kissed for a few moments on her couch, she tried to do more with me but I stopped her there and left as fast as I could”
She didn’t say anything, her sobs filled the room.
I reached to wipe her tears away and this time she let me.
“Why didn’t you tell me? We’ve never kept secrets Nick.”
I shrugged, “ I was scared.”
“Of what?”
“Losing you boo.” I said, as I tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear
“Why’d you have to go and kiss her? You’ve ruined everything.”
I swallowed hard, “I’m sorry.”
I pulled her into a hug, “Can you ever forgive me?”
“I don’t know.”
We sat in silence for what felt like hours
“Nick, I need time.”
“I understand, take as long as you need.”
“I don’t know if you do understand Nick.”
“Are we breaking up?” I whispered
“I just can’t do this right now, I can’t be okay with you.”
I pulled her close once more, placing a kiss on her forehead, “I truly am sorry.”
She nodded, “I think it’s best if you leave.”
I opened my mouth to speak but quickly shut it, there was nothing I could say to change her mind. I fucked up. I broke her heart. Before I left I apologized once more. I was devastated, but what did I expect? I knew she wouldn’t completely ignore the fact I cheated on her. This was my fault.
I would do everything in my power to get her back.
“Nick.” I heard Kevin say, but I ignored it.
“Where the fuck are my keys?” I yelled
“Nick, calm down. I don’t want you driving in this state of mind.” He said softly.
“I can’t calm down. I can’t find my keys. I need to go talk to her Kev.” I said in a panic. My vision was being blurred by the tears that were forming.
“Nick.” Kevin yelled, I stopped and tried my hardest not to break down.
“I’m sorry.” He said.
I said nothing as I found my keys lying under a pile of junk mail, I clutched them tightly.
“It’s not your fault,” I began, “I should’ve told her once it happened. I’m going to go now. I can’t lose her”
--
I called and called her but no answer, that's when I had to take things to the next level. I began pounding on her front door. After a few minutes, her mom answered the door.
“Nicholas, what on earth are you doing?” She asked with a confused tone.
“I need to speak to her.”
“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.”
I tried convincing her mom but nothing was working, so I apologized before I pushed past her and made my way to D’s room. I found her wrapped up in blankets, sobbing on her bed.
I was breathing in heavily, I wanted to speak but I couldn’t. Tears fell from my eyes.
“D?” I whispered
Not a word.
“Can we talk, please?”
“Go home Nick.”
“Baby, “ I pleaded, “Talk with me.”
She sat up slightly, her eyes red and puffy from crying. “I can’t do this Nick.”
I sat next to her on the bed, “ I’m so sorry.”
“It’s one thing for you to do what you did, it’s another to hear it from someone else.” I watched as more tears fell from her eyes. I tried to wipe them away but she turned her head just enough so I couldn’t reach her.
“I’m sorry D, I can’t say it enough. I didn’t mean for this to happen. I didn’t think this would ever happen between us.”
I watched as she distracted herself by pulling a loose thread that was attached to her comforter, “Speak to me?”
“Nick, what did you do with her? Did you fuck her, what did you do?”
Her words hurt, I didn’t even mean for any of this to happen. I never wanted to hurt her.
“Mr.Walters assigned her to me for our science project. I went to her house to work on the project… I know I shouldn’t have… she kissed me D.”
“Once?”
I frowned, “No. I kissed her back, but pulled away. I told her it was wrong and I couldn’t but she didn’t listen. She kissed me again, I didn’t stop her. We kissed for a few moments on her couch, she tried to do more with me but I stopped her there and left as fast as I could”
She didn’t say anything, her sobs filled the room.
I reached to wipe her tears away and this time she let me.
“Why didn’t you tell me? We’ve never kept secrets Nick.”
I shrugged, “ I was scared.”
“Of what?”
“Losing you boo.” I said, as I tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear
“Why’d you have to go and kiss her? You’ve ruined everything.”
I swallowed hard, “I’m sorry.”
I pulled her into a hug, “Can you ever forgive me?”
“I don’t know.”
We sat in silence for what felt like hours
“Nick, I need time.”
“I understand, take as long as you need.”
“I don’t know if you do understand Nick.”
“Are we breaking up?” I whispered
“I just can’t do this right now, I can’t be okay with you.”
I pulled her close once more, placing a kiss on her forehead, “I truly am sorry.”
She nodded, “I think it’s best if you leave.”
I opened my mouth to speak but quickly shut it, there was nothing I could say to change her mind. I fucked up. I broke her heart. Before I left I apologized once more. I was devastated, but what did I expect? I knew she wouldn’t completely ignore the fact I cheated on her. This was my fault.
I would do everything in my power to get her back.
♠ ♠ ♠
:( break-ups suck.