All of Me

I knew D my whole life, I didn't feel as if we were moving too quickly, it felt natural. It felt just as it had before except with a lot more hand holding and kissing. I fumbled around with my phone, unlocking it and then locking it, looking at her contact information. I couldn't decide if I wanted to call her or not, I thought a lot about what Kevin told me. Was I ready? Yes. Was She? I had no clue. I was unsure if that's something I should ask her or something I should just wait until we get caught up in the moment.

Hi, would you want to come over tonight? Maybe watch a movie? Maybe- I read the text I was about to send to her aloud and then deleted it, I didn't want to ask her 'maybe have some fun' with a winky face in a text message.

As I began to type her number into my phone to give her a call, my phone rang, "I was just about to call you!"

"Were you now?" She said with a giggle, "I was wondering if you'd want to go out tonight?" She asked.

"Of course, anything in mind?" I asked, hoping she wanted what I did.

"I was thinking we could just do dinner or something."

"That sounds great, I'll pick you up at seven?"

"I'll be ready!"

--

"Hello Beautiful." I said as I placed a kiss on her lips.

"Hello to you too, you look great."

"Why thank you. I missed you today." I said as I squeezed her into a hug.

I took her to dinner just as we originally planned, she seemed 'off', like her mind was somewhere else. I didn't want the night to end after dinner so I thought I would take her to do something fun. Maybe get her mind off of whatever was keeping her from being distracted.

"Nick I really suck at this, maybe we should just go." She said with defeat.

"Baby, this is supposed to be fun. What if I help you?" I asked as I pulled her closer to me. I took her to mini golf, she'd never been and I thought it was a perfect date. I stood behind her and placed my hands on hers. "Place this hand here and this one over here." I said moving her hands to the correct location on the golf club.

"Now just focus on the hole and hit the ball, but not too hard." I said as I swung the club with her.

Not a hole in one, but a lot closer than what she had been getting.

I still held on to her, she turned her head toward me and gave me a kiss, "Would it be okay if we go now?" She asked

I sighed, something was really getting to her tonight, she was never like this.

"Sure."

I felt like the drive home was excruciatingly long, I squeezed her hand.

"What's on your mind Baby?" I asked.

"Nothing, I'm just tired." She pulled her hand away from mine and continued to stare out the window.

I could tell what I wanted with her was not going to happen tonight.

I pulled up to her house, she was quick to unbuckle and her hand reached for the door handle.

"Thank you for tonight Nick."

"You're welcome Baby." I tried to lean in for a kiss but she turned away, I placed a kiss on her forehead and let her go.

--

"Hey Babe, just trying to check in on you. I haven't heard from you for a while, are you okay?" I sighed, "Please call me back." That must've been tenth message I've left for her, something was wrong.

"Hello? Oh hi Nick, how are you?" Destiny's mom asked.

"I'm alright, I'm worried actually," I said, "I haven't heard from D in a while, she won't answer my calls or texts which is very unlike her."

"Oh Nick, we're all going through a really difficult time, you should know that." She said, she sounded sad.

"No I don't know that, that's why I'm calling."

"She didn't tell you? He's gone Nick. She's taking it really hard." She said

I couldn't believe it, her father passed away? That's why she's been like this? Why didn't she tell me?

I couldn't find the words to speak.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't know." I said

"Maybe you should come over, it would be nice for her to see a friendly face." She said. I could tell she was beginning to cry.

"I'll be there shortly."

--

"Knock knock." I said as I stood in the doorway to her room, she was cuddled in blankets on her bed.

She didn't say anything. She didn't even glance over at me. I walked over and sat on her bed.

"Baby?" Still nothing, she just continued to lay there. Maybe it was best to be quiet.

I laid next to her and wrapped my arms around her and she began to cry.

We laid there together for hours when she finally turned around to face me.

"Nick, I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I just-" She buried her face in my chest and began to cry some more.

"Shh, don't worry it's okay." I said as I stroked her hair

"Thank you for being here." She choked out.

"Kiss me."

She looked up at me, "Nick I have awful breath, I look gross I would rather not."

"I said kiss me D." I pushed a strand of hair behind her ear and she leaned up to kiss me.

"You look beautiful." I said.

"Stop you're just saying that." She said as she turned away.

"No," I said as I put my hand under her chin to turn her head toward me, "You're gorgeous Baby."

"I love you." I said.

She began to cry.

"Why are you crying baby?" I said as I wiped the tears from her face.

"I love you too Nick."

"Come here." I said as I embraced her in a hug.

And in this moment was when I knew, I wanted to love her in every way possible. I want to treat her right forever, and the fact that I wanted it forever, scared me but excited me all at the same time