Bad Company

This is the story of how I died.

Not really, of course.

My body was still totally intact. I was still breathing, walking, talking, going through the motions.

I, however, had died. I wasn't me anymore. I was just empty. I had lost my light, my hope, everything.

Well, I guess had isn't the right word. Because I still struggle with this every day.

For those of you wondering what it's like to live with Ed, let me explain it to you in the simplest of terms.

Sometimes, people describe Ed--just to clarify, Ed is my eating disorder-- as an abusive boyfriend, or a black hole.

I like to think of it him as a pimp.

And my boyfriend, my black hole, my pimp. He's so much stronger than me, and I just let him control me.

I've been asked to reconsider recover, but I'm not quite sure how to go about it.

So in the mean time, let me tell you my story. I'm hoping writing it down my help me sort everything out.