Status: Hope you like it. I have already started the sequel if you're interested. :)
The Drug in Me Is You
A Turn For The Worst
Now that Ronnie and Jacky knew about us, there is no reason to hide our relationship. Its been a week since they walked in on us. Ever since then, Ryan has been acting weird. Every time we're together, he just seems so distant. We have just finished another show, and Ryan and I took showers and are currently lying in bed in our hotel room. I went to wrap my arm around him, in order to bring him closer, but he moved away. I frowned, and tried again. He moved again, turning over and moving as far from me as he could without falling off the bed.
I was confused. Why was he acting like this? Did I do something wrong? I looked at him, and put my hand on his shoulder. He shook me off. “Ry, whats wrong? Did I do something?” “No,you didn't. I'm just not in the mood to cuddle right now.” “Really? Okay, if that's what you want.” I left him alone after that. But I knew something had to be wrong. He never acts like this. He always wants to cuddle. Maybe he's just tired. I hope he's back to his normal self tomorrow.
The next few days were the worst. Ryan was getting worse and worse every day. When I try to talk to him and ask him whats wrong, he tells me he's fine, and forces a smile. I have to find out whats wrong. We even haven't had sex since Ronnie and Jacky found out about us. That's not like him at all. We were sitting in our hotel room together, eating our breakfast. I looked up at him. He sighed, and played with his food. I didn't bother asking what was wrong again, I knew he would just tell me he was fine. We sat in silence for a few more minutes. Then he spoke, which surprised me because he has barely said anything to me in the past few days. “Ronnie?”, he asked quietly, looking up at me through his bangs. This can't be good. He almost never calls me Ronnie unless hes angry or we're having sex. “Yeah Ry?” He looked down again, messing with his food again, before looking back up at me.
“I need to tell you something. It's extremely important.” I looked at him, concern evident on my face. “Yeah? What's wrong Ryan? Are you okay?” “I'm okay, but....”, he trailed off, lowering his head. “But what Ry?” He mumbled something I couldn't understand. “What'd you say?” He didn't look up at me. But I heard him clearly this time. “I'm pregnant.” My mouth hug open. I can't believe what he just said. I was too shocked to form words. He lifted his head slightly too see my reaction. “Well, do you have anything to say?” I wanted to talk, but I couldn't move my lips. I just sat there staring with my mouth open. Frozen. His head lowered again, and his body looked like it was trembling. I knew instantly that he was crying. My heart shattered. It kills me to see him like this. I want to do something, but my body is still frozen.
“I knew I shouldn't have said anything. Now you hate me.” He got up and ran, bursting out the door. I finally got up and chased after him. “Ryan wait!” By the time I ran out in the hall, he was nowhere in sight. I went all the way to the lobby, and I couldn't find him anywhere. Shit, now I have a huge problem. I went out looking for him. I couldn't just let him think I hate him. I looked everywhere for hours, but I couldn't find him. I returned to the hotel, and checked Ronnie and Jacky's room. He wasn't there either. Gave up and went back to our room. He'll probably come back later while I'm asleep or something.
I walked in and sat in the chair I had been in earlier. I noticed a small folded piece of paper on the tabled, my name neatly printed on the front. I knew it was from Ryan, I recognize his handwriting. He must have came back and left this here while I was out looking for him. I opened it up. It was a letter. I read it.
Ron,
I'm sorry I got pregnant. I didn't know it was even possible. I know you must hate me, and want nothing to do with me now, so I want you to know that you won't have to deal with me or the baby. I'm going to end our lives by jumping off the bridge, and save you from a life commitment you obviously don't want. Please remember that I love you, and always will, and I will always be with you. All I ask is that you never stop loving me, and never forget all of the memories we've made together. Don't try to stop me, you'll only make things even harder than they already are. Goodbye forever baby.
Love,
Ryan
I had tears in my eyes. Why would he do this? Doesn't he understand how much I love him? I love our baby too. I feel so stupid. I stood up and crumpled the note, throwing it on the floor. I have to stop him. And I now exactly where to find him. If only I could get there in time. I bolted out the door, running faster than I ever have. I hope its not too late.
I was confused. Why was he acting like this? Did I do something wrong? I looked at him, and put my hand on his shoulder. He shook me off. “Ry, whats wrong? Did I do something?” “No,you didn't. I'm just not in the mood to cuddle right now.” “Really? Okay, if that's what you want.” I left him alone after that. But I knew something had to be wrong. He never acts like this. He always wants to cuddle. Maybe he's just tired. I hope he's back to his normal self tomorrow.
The next few days were the worst. Ryan was getting worse and worse every day. When I try to talk to him and ask him whats wrong, he tells me he's fine, and forces a smile. I have to find out whats wrong. We even haven't had sex since Ronnie and Jacky found out about us. That's not like him at all. We were sitting in our hotel room together, eating our breakfast. I looked up at him. He sighed, and played with his food. I didn't bother asking what was wrong again, I knew he would just tell me he was fine. We sat in silence for a few more minutes. Then he spoke, which surprised me because he has barely said anything to me in the past few days. “Ronnie?”, he asked quietly, looking up at me through his bangs. This can't be good. He almost never calls me Ronnie unless hes angry or we're having sex. “Yeah Ry?” He looked down again, messing with his food again, before looking back up at me.
“I need to tell you something. It's extremely important.” I looked at him, concern evident on my face. “Yeah? What's wrong Ryan? Are you okay?” “I'm okay, but....”, he trailed off, lowering his head. “But what Ry?” He mumbled something I couldn't understand. “What'd you say?” He didn't look up at me. But I heard him clearly this time. “I'm pregnant.” My mouth hug open. I can't believe what he just said. I was too shocked to form words. He lifted his head slightly too see my reaction. “Well, do you have anything to say?” I wanted to talk, but I couldn't move my lips. I just sat there staring with my mouth open. Frozen. His head lowered again, and his body looked like it was trembling. I knew instantly that he was crying. My heart shattered. It kills me to see him like this. I want to do something, but my body is still frozen.
“I knew I shouldn't have said anything. Now you hate me.” He got up and ran, bursting out the door. I finally got up and chased after him. “Ryan wait!” By the time I ran out in the hall, he was nowhere in sight. I went all the way to the lobby, and I couldn't find him anywhere. Shit, now I have a huge problem. I went out looking for him. I couldn't just let him think I hate him. I looked everywhere for hours, but I couldn't find him. I returned to the hotel, and checked Ronnie and Jacky's room. He wasn't there either. Gave up and went back to our room. He'll probably come back later while I'm asleep or something.
I walked in and sat in the chair I had been in earlier. I noticed a small folded piece of paper on the tabled, my name neatly printed on the front. I knew it was from Ryan, I recognize his handwriting. He must have came back and left this here while I was out looking for him. I opened it up. It was a letter. I read it.
Ron,
I'm sorry I got pregnant. I didn't know it was even possible. I know you must hate me, and want nothing to do with me now, so I want you to know that you won't have to deal with me or the baby. I'm going to end our lives by jumping off the bridge, and save you from a life commitment you obviously don't want. Please remember that I love you, and always will, and I will always be with you. All I ask is that you never stop loving me, and never forget all of the memories we've made together. Don't try to stop me, you'll only make things even harder than they already are. Goodbye forever baby.
Love,
Ryan
I had tears in my eyes. Why would he do this? Doesn't he understand how much I love him? I love our baby too. I feel so stupid. I stood up and crumpled the note, throwing it on the floor. I have to stop him. And I now exactly where to find him. If only I could get there in time. I bolted out the door, running faster than I ever have. I hope its not too late.