The Drug in Me Is You

I arrived at the old rickety bridge. My eyes scanned the whole place frantically, my breathing quick and raspy. I didn't see him anywhere. My heart pounded even faster. Please don't be too late. I got closer, and nearly jumped up and down with relief. I could make out Ryan's figure on the far end of the bridge. He was about to jump. I didn't know if I would make it. I had to try. I couldn't lose them forever. I ran fast across the grass, then across the bridge. “Ryan, stop!” He looked over his shoulder, his red and stained with tears. He then turned back towards the water, and jumped.

“No! Ryan!” I finally reached where he was standing just moments ago. I panicked. I didn't know what to do. Then, I acted on impulse, and jumped in after him. The water was ice cold. I was in there for not even thirty seconds and I was already shivering like crazy. I searched the water frantically, and I couldn't see him. “Ryan?! Where are you?!” I ducked under the water, and looked around. I saw him. He was sinking fast. I swam after him, grabbing onto his waist and pulling him up with him. I pulled us to the ground, laying him on the grass near the water. He was slightly blue from the freezing water. He wasn't moving.

I sat next to him, holding his hand in mine. “Ryan, please don't leave me. I need you. I love you.”, I sobbed. Then, he moved slightly, and coughed up a bunch of water. He opened his eyes, looking right into mine. “Ryan! Oh my god, you're alright!” I pulled him close, wrapping him in a tight hug. “I thought I'd lost you forever.” He looked at me, his face still sad. “Why did you come? Didn't you read my note? I said not to.” “Ry, I couldn't just let you and our baby die. I love you guys.” “You're just saying that.” “No I'm not. I really love you Ryan. I'm sorry I didn't respond when you told me you were pregnant, I was so shocked I couldn't say anything. I wanted nothing more than to tell you how wonderful I think it is.”

“So you do want to start a family with me?” I smiled “Yes Ryan, I do.” He smiled for the first time in weeks. “Good, because I really want to start a family with you.” I leaned down and kissed him. It was the most passionate one in a long time. Our cold lips pressed against each other. I broke away and pulled him up with me, our hands still joined. “How about we go back to the hotel and keep each other warm? You're starting to turn blue.”

Back at the hotel, we had taken a steaming hot shower, and curled up under the blankets. His head was resting on my chest, my fingers combing through his hair. “So, did you go to the doctor yet?” “Yeah, they only confirmed that I was pregnant, and that I'm two weeks along.” “Really? Already?” “Yeah, I didn't even know I was pregnant until about a week ago.” “Well, we have a long way to go.” He smiled up at me. “I'm glad I have you Ron, I don't think I could do this with out you.” I smiled back. “I'll always be here Ry, forever.”

Time flew quickly, and before we knew it, Ryan was three months pregnant. I was in bed next to him in our hotel room. He was still asleep. He looked so adorable. I got up and went to get us some breakfast. I knew he would probably still be asleep when I got back. And I was right, because when I came back, a tray full of food in my hands, he was still passed out in our bed. He has been exhausted lately, with the touring and everything. The doctor said that it would be okay for him to be on stage until he was six months along. Then we would have to cut the tour short. He wanted us to perform with out him, but we all agreed not to. It wouldn't be the same with out him behind the drums.

It was almost eleven when he finally woke up. “Hey sleepy head.” He got up and waddled his way over to me. I pulled him into my lap, placing kisses on his neck. “I got you some breakfast, but its probably cold by now. I didn't expect you too sleep so long.” “I didn't either.” “Well, enjoy it now, because when the baby is born, you won't be getting much sleep at all.” “Yeah, I know. But I can't wait to hold our baby.” “Me too Ry. Don't worry, it'll be soon enough.”

“What are we doing today?” “Well we don't have any shows booked tonight, so I guess we can go shopping for the baby.” “But how? We don't even know what it is.” “You're the one who wanted it to be a surprise.” He pouted. “We can always ask next time we go.” “No, its alright. We'll just get things that are for boys and girls.” “Okay, I guess we can do that.”

Later that day, we came back with only a few bags. Its not very easy to shop for a baby if you don't know its gender. We sat on the bed, putting the bags on the floor. “I'm so tired, and we didn't even-” He stopped mid sentence, placing his hand on his belly. “What's wrong?” A smiled spread across his face. “Ron! The baby just kicked!” “Oh my god, really?!” “Come here!” I scooted closer to him, and he placed my hand on his stomach where it was kicking. “Oh my god, its moving!” “I know! This is so awesome!” “How does it feel?” “Really weird, I have no idea how to describe it.”

“I cant imagine how it must feel. Does it hurt?” “Not really, but that doesn't mean it wont.” I grabbed his hand. “If it does, you can hold my hand, I'm willing to try anything to make you comfortable.” “Thanks, and you know Ron, you're going to make an awesome dad. I just know you will.” His comment made me smile. I am so nervous about this baby. I hope I'm a great dad. But with Ryan insisting I will be, it makes me feel better.