Healing Hearts

Sarafire wasn’t given much time to ponder the meaning of the old Jedi’s meaning before the door slid open and Partin was allowed back in. Partin had a face of suspicion and displeasure, as if she was not at all happy that Sarafire was still here. Sarafire herself was not particularly happy to see the other girl. Both knew that they were being watched carefully and manners were expected. So both held back rude comments and hid as best they could their emotions. At least, that is what Sarafire hoped.

“Fight each other you will, but obey the rules this time.”

She knew that was said for the benefit of Partin, a stern warning. The girls bowed to the little master and then to each other before drawing back a step and taking their position.

Sarafire began to worry about this match. The last one hadn’t turned out well and she couldn’t figure out why. Partin was stronger in the force and knew how to use the energy to her advantage. All Sarafire could do was dance around in a light, speedy way and whip her lightsaber like the razor she used to manage her pain. How was she going to beat the girl who slightly glared at her in an impatient way, waiting for her to make the first move?

Her thoughts were stopped when the other girl gave a small cry and used her personal move of a high, soaring jump, landing nearly on Sarafire. Sarafire jumped back at the last second, balancing on her feet ever so lightly, making sure there was distance between them. The look on the other girl’s face was of superiority and pride. The Force glowed around the mean girl in an impressive way.

The fight was continued by Partin who charged Sarafire and broke into a series of flashy moves, each delivered with a powerful blow. Sarafire felt each hit travel up her arms. She knew the girl was using the Force to add to her strength and speed. This wasn’t fair. She couldn’t figure out how to stop the girl.

It was one, single move that Sarafire produced that caused a flare of anger and a flash in the eyes of her fighter that broke the power. Sarafire saw this change and realized something very important. Anger could block one’s connection to the Force. As long as Partin remained angry, she could not use the force and might not be strong enough to win otherwise. In other words, her strength was her weakness. Excited by her new discovery, she channelled her thoughts, concentration and focus on taking the offensive side. She gathered up her physical energy and used it to physically force Partin to take steps back. The Force died in Partin as her young face was twisted in outrage. Sarafire wondered for one brief second if Master Yoda was going to remind them of calm and peace, but nothing was said and the battle went on.

The other girl started to stumble and had troubles blocking the multiple blows that Sarafire fired at her. Her quick steps and limber arms allowed her to attack from all angles and levels. It was not too long before the other girl was overcome with emotion and lack of energy and dropped her lightsaber when a blow fell on her wrist. Sarafire rallied with her success decided to get payback and kicked Partin hard in the left shin. The other girl screamed out in pain and fell to the ground. Sarafire lowered her lightsaber to the girl’s neck, but did not touch her. It was clear who had won.

“You cheated!”

The words were angry, but also full of wincing pain. Sarafire snapped out of her hyper focus and became furious herself at the claim.

“I did not!”

Before the argument could go further, they were interrupted by the master who slowly walked into the arena and stood near the two girls who were glaring at each other.

“She did not cheat, but won by the rules”

Sarafire was sure if the girl wasn’t being watched so obviously, she would have made a face, but the girl said and did nothing.

“Partin, dismissed you are. Sarafire, stay.”

She watched the other girl limp away and felt a certain satisfaction. It felt good to win and it was better to watch the girl finally endure some pain. She wondered if word would reach her other classmates and if she would be looked up with honor for beating the bully. But her daydream of fame did not last long.

“Why did you kick her?”

She looked a little startled at the Jedi. She was not expecting this question. She thought he might rub in the fact that she indeed could have won the fight or give her some hint of fighting advice.

“She had kicked me before and it really hurt and I wanted her to understand how much that hurt.”

She did not feel good telling the Jedi that, but it was the truth and she had learned from the last few days with him not to lie.

“Revenge is not the Jedi way.”

She liked that response even less. She felt her afterglow of the fight flare up as her pride was being challenged.

“Well, she’s not very Jedi like. I mean she bullies-“

Her complaints were stopped there by a look. This was an old, parent like look that told her to stop her ranting.

“Not talking about her, we are, only of you. Leave her and worry about yourself you should.”

She opened her mouth and shut it. She did not want to worry about herself. Anger stirred in her. She threw up her hands and took a few steps away from him.

“Look, I won the fight. I figured out she gets angry and that’s the best way to get her to stop feeling the Force. I did what you wanted and now you’re getting picky because I kicked her even though you said that was in the rules? So what if it was to get revenge or whatever? She started that first fight as revenge, so go lecture her and not me. You should be proud of me, not finding stupid stuff that I did wrong!”

If it weren’t for the brave feeling that flowed through her thin body, she would have been terribly afraid of what she had just said. She had talked back to not just a teacher, but the grand master of the order and should be kicked out for that. Instead, silence was met by her rant and a look of deep sadness was on the master’s face. She didn’t understand why he was sad and not angry, but she didn’t care. She started walking out of the room, listening for the command to stay, yet none was given. She hurried to her room before her nerves wore off. She made it in time. She shut the door, went to her bed and collapsed. Tears rolled down her face as shame and fear took over. She knew she shouldn’t have done that. It was rude. It also ended her time at the temple.

It was many minutes before her tears stopped and dried before she became restless. She had to do something about the shame inside of her. She couldn’t live with it. It was eating her. She must get rid of it and she knew how. Sarafire tore her room apart, looking in all corners and crannys to find her razor. It was only when her room was an utter mess did she remember that she gave it to the master. For one brief second she thought about how she might find where he hid it and realized it would be impossible.

A knock on the door awoke her out of her crazy plan. She looked down and around the room, panicking again. There was only one person that would have knocked and she could not face him.

The door opened itself without her permission or action. A disappointed Master Yoda analyzed her room and then stared at her. She gulped and knew she really was in trouble.

“Why the mess?”

She couldn’t swallow for her mouth was dry. Instead she muttered she was looking for something. She unconsciously fingered her healing wrist. She noticed his eyes were on her wrist and she stopped.

“Go to the greenhouse and work on the garden you will.”

There was no room for argument the way he said it and she walked past him and did as told, leaving her room the way it was. She was vaguely glad he did not press further, but she felt as though he understood what she was looking for.