Things Aren't Always What They Seem

***18***

Jon had decided to throw a party at his new place since being drafted in the NHL. He wasn't a Hawk yet, but he was working his way up. He had friends both new and old that he wanted to celebrate being drafted with, and Charlotte was on that celebratory list. He was celebrating with her too since she'd moved to Chicago for him.

Though everyone at his place was a friend of his, he was still fiercely protective of Charlotte-- especially since what had happened the last time she was at her brothers. If any of his friends even looked at her the wrong way Jon was quick to shut it down. He might have been a little overbearing but in his mind he had every reason to be. A bunch of drunk horny hockey players with his attractive best friend didn't make for a good combination.

The hours had rolled into the morning and people were starting to pass out, go home, get laid-- whatever. Jon was downstairs with a beer in his hand ready to go to bed but before he could do that he needed to get the place under wraps. He hadn't seen Charlotte for a good half hour and was wondering where she was when he walked through the living room, stepping over beer bottles and bodies in the process, and saw her carefully and quietly rummaging through the mess for her car keys.

"Char," Jon yelled in a whisper and saw her turn her head to look at him. He walked over to her and wrinkled his brow. "What are you looking for?"

"My keys," she whispered.

"Your keys?" he asked bewildered. "Why? You're not driving home."

"I'm not drunk," she said with a laugh. "I had like two beers all night-- and I haven't had one in...I don't know probably closer to two hours at this point. I'm just exhausted."

"I don't care, you aren't driving home alone. It's ridiculously late."

"Well what am I supposed to do then Jon?" Charlotte looked at him and gave a giggle. "I'm fine, I promise you."

"No, that's just wrong. Come with me." He grabbed her by the hand and pulled her behind him to his room. They stepped over more messiness and more passed out bodies in the process. There were people collapsed on every piece of furniture and others on the floor serving as road blocks. "Here," Jon flickered the light switch on to his empty room and looked at his bed. "You're staying here with me."

"In your room?" She turned her head and looked at him with wide eyes.

"Yeah." He nodded.

"You...you don't have any company you're sharing it with?" Charlotte gave him a side-eyed glare and he swallowed knowing exactly what she meant by that.

"No, not unless you count yourself."

"And where are you going to sleep?" she asked with a naive expression.

"Charlotte," Jon couldn't hold back laughing just a bit. "You are sleeping here with me. It's the safest place. Relax."

"Okay," she shrugged and went to his drawers to find a pair of comfy pants. "Turn around," she ordered and he listened as she undid her jeans and pulled them down, replacing them with Jon's flannels. "You're going to sleep now?" she asked giving him the okay to turn back around.

"Yeah," he nodded and nonchalantly pulled his jeans off as he walked over and grabbed himself a pair of pajama pants from the same drawer Charlotte had just fished in. She crawled into his bed and got warm under the covers when she felt him pull the covers back on the other side and the bed sink down a little from where he got in. "Good night Char," Jon breathed out. His breathing was a little shaky and his stomach was doing little flips as it suddenly hit him that he was in bed with his best friend.

"Night Jon," she answered softly. She felt her body start to tremble just the slightest and when she finally settled in and relaxed a bit, she let out a breath to get the extra jitters out. She had just calmed down and shut her eyes when she felt Jon put his arm around her waist and pull her backwards into his body. Her eyes popped open and her breath caught in her throat, but she nuzzled into him as a content smile spread across her face. She rested her hand on his and took comfort as he held her. Before she knew it she had easily fallen into a peaceful sleep.

Jon felt himself getting more turned on than he knew he was able to. He took slow deep breaths in and let them out shakily. His skin was on fire with her pressed tightly against him and it honestly took his breath away. He wanted to kiss the back of her neck, run his tongue down her shoulder and start exploring her body with his hands but he had to behave. Though he slept next to her and managed to keep himself from making any type of move that would undoubtably ruin their relationship, he realized that sleeping next to her so intimately felt better than any of the random one-nighters he ever had been with.

When Jon woke up the next morning and his eyes immediately fell on Charlotte's sleeping form he felt the grin spread across his face. He knew nothing happened between them during the night-- he only shared his bed with her-- but he liked holding her during the night. He liked having her in his bed with him. He slept with her in his arms better than he could ever remember sleeping...and that's when he knew he was in deep trouble.

***Present Day***

It wasn't more than two hours that had gone by when Jon's eyes fluttered open in Charlotte's bed. He breathed her in and pulled her tighter to him taking in just how good it felt to be waking up next to her. He wasn't about to move because he didn't want it to end. He laid there holding her, rubbing his fingers in soft slow circles over the skin on her stomach and thought about how he should have been waking up next to her every morning-- that all the time he wasted over the last eight years was a mistake when he should have been with her. Her back was pressed to his front, her shoulder bare from sleeping in a tank top, and he leaned his head down gently pressing his lips to her soft skin.

Maybe twenty minutes went by before he heard little whimpers as Charlotte began to stir. Her eyes flickered open and she turned over to face him as she looked up into Jon's eyes. "Hey," he cooed with an unmistakable happiness to his voice.

"Morning," she moaned out with a smile that matched his, her eyes holding his gaze.

"How are you feeling?" He asked genuinely concerned.

"Same," she kind of shrugged not knowing what to say that hadn't already been said. "My head just usually hurts now-- but I guess that's to be expected."

Jon nodded his head. "Yeah." He swallowed and braced himself for what he was going to ask next. "How did it go last night?"

"With Patrick?"

"Yeah," he nodded.

"Um," she looked away from him and took a few seconds to form the correct words. "Good, I guess. Yeah."

"Yeah?" he asked suspiciously. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she shook her head. "No, nothing. It just, well, no. I feel awful saying anything because he went out of his way to set up his room with candles and flower petals and it was just so sweet."

Jon cringed at her words. He knew what Pat was doing and it enraged him to think of Charlotte going back there and opening her legs for him. He made him even more upset to think Pat would push for it her first day home. "Oh..."

"But it wasn't like that," she quickly added. "We just talked and then went to sleep. I wanted him to fill me in on our relationship."

"Did he?"

"Yeah. According to him we have a seemingly ideal relationship."

Jon held back a sarcastic laugh. "He said that?"

"He implied it, yeah. Makes me feel worse I can't remember it."

"You will," Jon encouraged her. "Give it time."

"I hope so," she said with a sad expression. Jon could tell just how defeated and upset she was and he stroked her face. "It's going to be alright," he cooed.

"Can you do something for me?" she looked up at him with huge eyes that were impossible for him to say no to.

"Anything Char."

"Tell me about us. About our friendship."

Jon smiled. "There isn't enough time in the day and I have practice, but I'll do what I can."

Charlotte nodded. "Good."

"Let's see. We met at your brothers party and you took care of my drunk ass when we were sixteen. I don't know why you did it, but you took pity on me and let me stay there and the next morning you gave me your infamous hangover remedy. We just hit it off, you know? We talked and laughed and started hanging out and really we were inseparable. We've done pretty much everything together, told each other everything. I went to your prom with you when your date stood you up, you moved here to Chicago after high school to be here with me. You name it and chances are we did it together."

"Hm." She wrinkled her brow and looked away.

"What's wrong?" Jon asked not sure of what he said that could have upset her.

"It just...I don't know. Nevermind."

"No, what's up Char. Talk to me," he gave her a little nudged and forced her to look at him.

"And nothing ever happened between us right?" she asked him uncomfortably and timidly.

Jon shook his head. "No. Nothing ever happened. We've been friends from the beginning. For so long I barely remember what it was like before you were in my life."

"That's really nice," she said sincerely. "It's so rare to have such a pure and honest friendship that way, I guess. I'm really thankful that you've been such a great friend to me. I can tell we have some great memories that I don't remember. I just," she started to get teary eyed and took a second to get her emotions under control. "You've been here for me through all this and you haven't left my side. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it."

"I promised you when we were sixteen I wouldn't let anything happen to you...obviously I couldn't keep that promise, but I'm your best friend Charlotte. There isn't anywhere I would be but here."

She smiled up at him and he saw the tears start to slow down her cheeks. "I can see why I moved to Chicago for you."

Jon felt his heart swell in his chest. He wanted to kiss her and tell her how much he loved her, but he wouldn't do it-- he couldn't take advantage of her that way. When he imagined being with her it was her he was with. He wasn't about to confess his feelings to this girl, the one who had just come home from the hospital and needed time to heal-- the girl who didn't really know who he was. "I'm glad that you didn't wake up and become...afraid of me," he confessed. "I was afraid that since you didn't know who I was anymore that you'd pull away."

"I don't have anyone to pull away to. It's hard enough being alone in my own body-- I don't think I could physically handle pushing you away. Patrick too. Truth is I think I've pulled away from him a little. But I mean, that's to be expected too, right? I don't think anyone that wakes up in the hospital not knowing who they are-- who their friends are-- I don't think they're going to feel comfortable having sex with the person they're with on the first day home. Am I wrong to think that?" she flickered her eyes away from him and put her fingertips to her forehead.

Jon shook his head and tried to calm her down. "You have nothing to worry about. Patrick and I are patient and understanding and we're both here for you. You have nothing to feel guilty or upset about." He hated having to group Patrick in with him but he had to for her sake. He needed to keep things as normal as possible. Right now she was totally broken. If there came a point where he realized she may never regain her memory and she had eased into and accepted the situation she was now in, then he would deal with dropping the bombs on her then- but now it was too soon and just too much. He could tell by the things she inadvertently told him that Pat had been pushing her... but he wouldn't do that to her. Even if he was the one who had to suffer, he'd take it over doing anything to hurt her.

"I just feel like I'm letting everyone down," she hadn't entirely gotten her emotions under check and all Jon could do was listen. "I mean, here's this guy I'm supposedly engaged to and he's going out a limb trying to show me he cares and telling me he loves me and what do I do? I awkwardly turn him down. I mean, I could see how hurt he was that I wouldn't jump into his arms and make love to him on his bed but I just can't yet."

Jon pulled her close to him and let her bury her face in his shirtless chest where she burst into tears. He held the back of her head and did his best to help put her at ease. "Shhhh....shhhh," he cooed. "It's okay," he whispered. She had no idea how much of a relief it was to him in that moment to hear her say she hadn't slept with Pat.

"I just feels like so much and I'm being pulled in a million different directions," she said not pulling away from his chest. "He's all telling me how we have this perfect relationship and I'm just not there with him. I'm not saying he's lying to me, I don't know. You'd tell me if there was something I needed to know, right?" She pulled back from him and looked up at him. Her breath was warm and her face with red and wet from crying.

Jon swallowed and simply nodded slowly. "Yeah," he said with a raspy voice. As soon as he said it he felt the pit in his stomach. He realized that not only did he just lie to her when she looked to him begging him not to, but that he'd been lying to her for the last eight years. He couldn't figure out in that moment who was worse-- him or Kane.

***

"We need to talk things over," Pat said sternly as he stood in front of Rose in her doorway. She looked at him for a few seconds before pushing her door open wider giving him permission to walk into her apartment.

"What is there to talk about?" She turned and stood in front of him with her hands on her hips. "My boyfriend never gave a shit about me and you ran right out of here the second you could."

"What did you expect from me Rose? My fiancee is laying in a hospital bed unconscious, of course I needed to go."

"Nothing ever stopped you before. Why did you even come here then that morning? She was in the hospital room then too. You ran out when Jon got here and called you out on it." She looked down at the ground and pursed her lips. "It's like a competition for you two. Except I'm not the prize."

Pat walked closer to her and put his hand on her cheek. She looked up at him and lightly rested her fingertips on his extended arm. "I'm sorry for this. I'm sorry for everything that happened. I never intended to take it this far," he said softly.

"I know," she looked up at him and gave the smallest forced grin she could. "I need to go see Jon soon. I think I at least owe it to him to apologize. I assume him and I are over, but I'd like to think we could leave things off on a better note than how they were left the other day."

Pat nodded his agreement, he understood and he thought she was right. Everything was so fucked up and he didn't know how to even begin to mend it. "She's home now, Charlotte," Pat offered up to break the silence and change the topic.

"That's good. At least she's awake." Rose wanted to be supportive and as much as she might have resented Charlotte, she never wanted anything bad to happen to her.

"She doesn't know who we are. They don't know if she will or when or....I don't know," he sighed and went to sit on her couch letting his head drop into his hands.

Rose went and sat next to him, putting her hand on his back for comfort. "I'm sorry." She rested her chin on his shoulder and leaned in to give him a supportive kiss on the cheek. He turned his head and was surprised at how close her face was. He didn't move as she slowly pressed her lips on his. She pulled back a bit to get a feel for his response. She looked him in the eyes and very slowly leaned back in, finally feeling his lips move back against hers.

Pat spun and pulled her body down until her back hit the couch cushions and he jumped on top of her. He had her shirt halfway off when he pulled back, his breathing labored.

"What?" she looked up at him not wanting him to stop.

"We can't. I can't do this," he sighed out. "I meant it when I said I was trying to get out of this it just got so...I just got in so deep I didn't know how."

She sat up and put her hands on his shoulders. She could see the inner turmoil Pat was going through. "You're already here," she said quietly. "Let's leave it on a good note too."

He shook his head weakly, "I can't..."

Rose leaned in very gently pressed her lips to his again. He tried to turn her down but he didn't have the strength anymore. He let her take his pants off and climb on top of him. He held her hips in his hands as she rode him and he let his head fall back as he came.