Things Aren't Always What They Seem

"Bar?" It was the only word Jon said when Duncan Keith answered the phone.

Duncs knew something had to have gone terribly wrong as soon as he heard Jon say the word and he dropped his head. "Sure. Twenty minutes."

Jon didn't say anything else, he just hung up and instantly headed to the bar to wait for Duncan.

He threw Rose out real fast. Charlotte left in a hurry and he wanted to run after her. He wanted to grab her and spin her around, kiss her, and tell her that what she'd just walked in on meant nothing-- that the only girl he wanted to kiss for the rest of his life was the one in his arms-- but he couldn't do it and realizing that he couldn't made him self destructive.

Jon had already thrown back two drinks by the time Duncan got there and he was ready for his third. Duncan slid into the seat next to him and instantly saw the pain his friend was in. "What happened?"

Jon took another sip and let out a deep breath. He took a few seconds before opening his mouth. "Well." He paused again. "Rose showed up at my place."

Duncan pursed his lips and slowly nodded his head. "Okay."

"She pretended to be sorry about everything and came at me hard. She wanted to have sex and she climbed on top of me. I pushed her off but Charlotte walked in and saw it...she ran out so fast. She doesn't know who Rose is and she doesn't know what happened. She just thinks I was about to fuck some girl and she has no idea..." Jon dropped his head and rubbed his hand over his face.

"Okay," Duncan said again as he absorbed this information. "Let's back up here. Why'd you let Rose in? Were you planning on something happening?"

"No," Jon adamantly shook his head. "No way. I just felt like I could listen to whatever she needed to say to be--I don't know-- nice. She doesn't deserve it, but I think the fact that I never was really available to her emotionally is part of the problem."

"I see," Duncs nodded. "I guess that makes sense. Now. Did you want to take her up on her offer once you were inside? I mean, she's throwing herself at you and it's not like you expected anyone to find out about it."

Jon shook his head again. "Man, you have no idea how wrong you are. I didn't want to touch her-- I didn't even want to look at her. She could have stripped down in front of me and I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole."

"Okay," Duncan accepted that response. "So, what's the issue? It isn't like you were cheating on Charlotte."

Jon let his head fall back and he sighed again. "You didn't see the look on her face when I saw her there."

"Did you guys have plans?"

"No, not definite ones. I mean I planned on calling her or seeing her in some capacity but I was under the impression she had plans with Kane. When I looked up and saw her there she--" Jon couldn't help smiling. "It was so cute-- she had Starbucks in each of her hands. She brought it over for me so we could have them together I guess. When she saw Rose and me like that," Jon shook his head and his frustration showed in full force again. "It was like she walked in on me cheating on her. She tried to play it off but I know it hurt her."

"Well," Duncan took a swig of his beer. "That's good then, right?"

"I don't know, I guess. You don't even know how fucked up this situation is."

"No," Duncan cut in. "I do. I've watched it from afar."

"Not that," Jon corrected him. "If she showed up like she did tonight and gave me that reaction I would kiss her. I...I would tell her everything whether Kane were in the picture or not-- but that would be under regular circumstances. That would be Charlotte being Charlotte, knowing who I am, having all the memories we have. This...it's like it's her...but it isn't."

"Yeah but if it were her you wouldn't even be talking right now." Duncs pointed out something Jon had tried to forget and it made him cringe.

"I know. But at least she'd be okay."

Duncs rubbed his forehead and looked down at his drink, taking a deep breath before he continued the conversation. "Toews."

Jon--sensing the tone in Duncan's voice-- turned his head and looked over at his friend. "You want to know my opinion? You want to know what made it real obvious real fast that you were ape shit crazy over this girl?"

Jon wrinkled his brow and looked at him waiting to hear his response.

"Not once in all the years we've known you have you ever said that she was like a sister-- it was never this platonic closeness you two shared. You watched over her like a hawk when any of us talked to her-- you were hanging by a thread waiting, looking for a chance to touch her. She'd walk into the room after a game and-- I shit you not-- your entire body would light up. You could have the worst fucking game of your career and she'd walk in and it'd just be okay all of a sudden. She'd come by you and you'd just melt. Your eyes lit up, it was done. And we made comments behind your back-- never understood why or how you didn't realize it, because you were totally blind."

Jon took a deep breath in and slowly exhaled. He grabbed his beer and took a sip needing to feel its effects. "Your point?"

"My point is that the way you look at her..." Duncan let out a sigh. "She looks at you the exact same way."

Hearing those words escape from Duncan's mouth made Jon's eyes pop open and do a double take at his buddy. He wanted to talk but he didn't know what to say, so he settled for listening to Duncs continue.

"Come on," he looked at Jon genuinely surprised Jon hadn't seen it before. "The girl moved to another state-- another city-- to be closer to you. She comes to every game."

"That...that isn't fair," Jon cut in. "She came to every game to support Kane. Once that started up she was wrapped around his finger."

"That may be true, but as an objective observer-- that girl's never looked at him the way she looks at you."

"That's..." Jon shook his head in disagreement. "That's just not possible."

"Yes!" Duncan yelled annoyed by Jon's stupidity. "Open your fucking eyes dude. I'd bet my salary she waited for you to make a damn move and you never did. So Kane came along, swept her off her feet...and she went with it. You pushing her away like you were so determined to do was just icing on the cake."

Jon stared down at the bar and tried to control his erratic breathing. Duncan's words sank in and it make Jon physically sick. "You're saying she's...or she was...in love with me?"

Duncan shrugged. "I can't know for sure. I could be totally off base, but...." he paused and tried to say something less definite but found it impossible. "Yeah, I mean. Yeah. I do."

"You guys just didn't say anything for what? How many years at this point?" Jon turned and looked at him totally pissed.

"Dude you can get mad at me, or Sharpy or even Kane all you want, but this is on you."

Jon nodded his head and let it fall into his hands which he had perched up on the bar. He didn't know what to say and if there was even the slightest chance that Duncan was right-- well, then he contemplated throwing himself off a bridge for not trying anything sooner.

"Is it too late?" Jon asked hopelessly, his emotions totally drained.

"I really don't know that man," Duncan said uncertainly as he shook his head genuinely unsure of how to advise his hurting friend. "I really don't know. I mean, look at everything that's happened. Do you think it's too late? She's watched you go home with countless women over the years. You've watched her go home with the one guy that she opened her legs for. She's lost her memory for crying out loud. She's engaged to someone else-- I'll admit that someone else is a cheating douchebag, but she's still with him nonetheless. I guess you're really the only one who can make that call, but maybe...I don't know. Maybe you should just let it go."

***

"Hello?"

"Hey...can you come pick me up?" Charlotte asked clearly upset as she held her phone close to her cold face. She knew she wasn't able to drive but she was proud of herself for being able to walk to Starbucks and find Jon's apartment. She'd missed him while he was gone and wanted to surprise him.

"Sure baby," Pat sat up in bed and started looking for a shirt. He'd just woken up from taking a nap and he was totally willing to do whatever Charlotte requested of him in this instant-- it was the first time since she'd woken up that she asked him for any real type of help. "Where are you?"

"I took a walk. I'm almost back to my apartment," she said leaving out the part about what happened at Jon's.

"Sure," he nodded more than willing to fulfill her need. "Let me get myself situated. I'll leave in like five minutes okay?"

Charlotte pouted into the phone and was thankful Patrick couldn't see her. "Yeah. I'll be home in a few minutes. Thank you."

"Anything baby," Patrick cooed. "Anything."

Charlotte hung up and felt that stupid pit in her stomach. She wiped away a lingering tear from her eye and got pissed at herself for being upset in the first place. She couldn't figure out why she was even so affected by Jon's liaisons. Whatever it was she wasn't in the mood to deal with it and her fear was that Jon would possibly show up. She figured she could avoid that option by simply leaving and going to Pat's. The more she thought about it the more she realized that the blonde guy she'd been keeping at arm's length was her fiance-- there was something there that prompted her to say yes to him when he offered marriage, and maybe she should start accepting him into her life more.

When he knocked on the door she rushed over and opened it with a smile. She had prepped herself for how she would handle greeting him, and when she opened the door she threw her arms around his neck before pulling back and giving him a kiss-- the first kiss she'd engaged in since she woke up in the hospital.

Pat's lips curled up into a smile when he felt her pressed against him and he gently rested his hand on her cheek. "Wasn't expecting that kind of hello." He was clearly very happy as he rested the bridge of his nose against hers and ran his fingers through her hair.

She forced a smile and gave him a quick peck on the lips before pulling away from him. "We are engaged, right?"

Pat nodded. "We are. We most certainly are." He knew it was wrong but deep down he felt relief that she hadn't regained her memory. He literally was blessed with a clean slate and he didn't want to let her go.

Charlotte grabbed her coat before taking ahold of his outstretched hand and walking out the door. She tried to push herself to be more affectionate by curling up into him to keep warm as they walked to the car, and as he helped her in the passenger side she thought that eventually she could fall back in love with him like she apparently had been before.

Charlotte stared out the passenger window as Patrick looked over at her a few times. After a few minutes he realized that her attention was elsewhere and he gently rested his hand on her thigh. Her head quickly turned to look at him and she offered a small smile. "Everything alright?" he asked before focusing his attention back on the road.

"Yeah," she replied simply. "Everything's great."

"I'm really glad you called me. I was starting to think you didn't want me around much anymore."

Charlotte took in a deep breath and slowly shook her head. "I'm sorry," she said softly. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. It's just a lot right now. It's hard, you should be thanking the Lord that it isn't you going through this. I know that we had something before the accident...but to wake up and not remember and have you look at me dying for me to...it's a lot of pressure."

"I know Charlotte," Patrick said reassuringly. "I'm trying to be patient but there isn't a rule book for how to handle all this. I'm figuring it all out like you are."

She tilted her head and gave a sympathetic glance. "You're fine. It's doing everything right."

Pat swallowed and gave her leg a little rub. "It means a lot to hear you say. I was starting to worry that you were hoping Jon was your fiance instead," he said it with a laugh though deep down it was a gravely serious statement.

"No," Charlotte shook her head and swallowed. "Jon's an amazing friend. It's very evident he's just...he's perfect-- but he's my friend."

Pat gave a sly smile and leaned over to give her a kiss on her temple as he pulled in his driveway. He got out of the car, walked over to her side and took her hand as he led her to the house. "I missed you," he sighed out in her ear as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

She reluctantly fell into him and kissed him back when he crashed his lips down onto hers. After a few moments he took her by the hand and led her up the stairs to his bedroom where he pushed for more and gently kissed down her neck, nibbled behind her ear and explored her body with his hands.

***

It'd been at least four days since Jon had seen Charlotte. He tried calling her a few times but she didn't answer and despite the fact he left voice mails and messages, she never called back.

She waited for Kane to come to her after their first home game-- she didn't come down to the locker room or give Jon a chance to see her-- and that was when Jon figured out that she was purposely avoiding him. He had a pretty good idea, but that confirmed it. Each day that passed made his stomach churn more. By the time their second home game rolled around Jon thought maybe Charlotte would find her way down to the locker room-- but again she didn't.

He wasn't even totally dressed yet when he felt himself lose control and he stormed out like a man possessed and went to find her. "She's not there man," he heard Kane yell from behind him.

Jon turned around and angrily shook his head. "I don't believe you. She can't drive yet." Jon went to turn back around but Kane stopped him.

"She doesn't want to see you. Just let it be."

Jon dismissed him and continued on his war path. He walked to where the other wives and girlfriends typically waited and burst through the door. He spotted Charlotte instantly, and she looked up at him nervously with wide eyes. He instantly walked over to her and bent down in front of her. "Why are you avoiding me?"

"I'm not," she lied and tried to make it convincing though Jon knew way better than that.

"You are," he shot back. "We need to talk."

"We're fine." Though her words were few Jon could see the hurt in her eyes-- even if she was doing her best not to look at him.

"Come over later." He wasn't asking this time. He was demanding it and he could see the inner turmoil she was wrestling with as she tried to find the words to turn him down. "Please," he begged completely vulnerable.

She held his gaze for a few seconds before nodding her head-- she did it just barely, almost like she wasn't even moving, but he saw her give in and before he could say another word he heard Patrick's voice bellow from behind him. "Leave her alone."

Jon quickly stood up and went to leave, content because he'd gotten the answer he wanted. Before he left the room he turned back to Charlotte and looked at her in a way that was asking for confirmation. She nodded her head again and he turned and walked out of the room.

***

Jon was practically pacing back and forth as he waited for Charlotte to arrive. He wasn't sure Kane would let her go, but she gave her word and she wasn't one to break it. After twenty minutes he finally heard a faint knock on his door.

He immediately opened it and saw a timid Charlotte looking back at him. "Hey," she breathed out as she walked in and he closed the door behind her.

"Hey," he answered, taking what felt like his first breath that night.

"Well," she said breaking the silence after an awkward couple seconds. "You played great tonight."

"Thanks," Jon sheepishly. "I wasn't sure you noticed."

"Of course I did."

"Look," Jon walked closer to her. She hadn't yet migrated to his living room.

"I like your place," she said as she looked around--and totally cut him off. "I only saw it once for like three seconds, and it was pretty dark."

"You know this place like the back of your hand," he commented. "Look around, feel free."

Charlotte hadn't looked back at him yet as her eyes wandered his home. She saw the pictures--many framed of the two of them like they were back at her apartment. Jon could see the wheels in her head turning as she slowly walked from room to room running her fingertips gently over his furniture.

Jon let her go and do her thing and watched her disappear up the stairs and to his room. After a few minutes she came back downstairs and met him by the front door where he was still standing.

"That picture," she started. "The one in your room."

"The one next to my bed? On my side table?" he asked unsure of where she was going with this. "That was the night we won the Cup."

"Yeah," she slowly nodded her head-- her brow still wrinkled. "I...I feel like I know it. Like I looked at it and for just a split second I knew it."

Jon's heart pounded harder against his ribcage. "You remember?"

"Not quite. It was just a flash, just for a second. But it felt familiar. Like I remembered it for just that second."

Jon smiled and he went and wrapped his arms around her. "That's amazing. Is there anything else that jogged your memory?"

She shook her head slowly again, still trying to process this thing that was a big deal, "No. But it was nice to feel like I knew something-- even if it was for a second."

"Charlotte, that's huge," Jon exclaimed. "You're getting there, that's just a step."

"Maybe, I guess." She quickly tried to pull herself back into reality rather than dwell on the brief flash of memory she felt. "What...what did you want to talk about?"

"Oh," Jon had forgotten for that window of time that he was pissed. "I haven't seen you, I wanted to know what's up. Why?"

"It's nothing," she said unconvincingly as she looked down at her feet. "Really, I've just been busy. I'm trying to spend more time with Patrick-- we," She looked away from him again and he could tell she was suddenly uncomfortable. "We set a date. So, we're starting with that."

Jon's eyes popped open and he felt his heart jump up and get stuck in his throat. "What? You set...you set a date? A wedding date?"

"Yeah," she nodded with a nervous swallow almost like she didn't want to tell him. "July thirtieth."

"Are you kidding me? You avoid me for almost a week and then I see you and you're...you two set a wedding date?" He was completely caught off guard. Of all the things for her to say, that was the last he was expecting.

"Yeah," she said more defensively. "I don't see why that is such a problem. I just think that if him and I are going to have a real shot at being happy together, I need to focus more on my actual relationship. I don't mean it to hurt you. You have your own life going on and I have mine."

"You don't even remember your own life!" Jon said raising his voice. "Don't you think there's a reason you hadn't set a date before?"

"Stop," Charlotte said sternly but Jon didn't listen.

"You can't...you need to heal and give yourself time before making such big decisions." Jon was frantic and it showed as he ran his hands through his hair.

"Stop," Charlotte repeated. "I don't want to do this with you. It is what it is. If you don't like it, then don't come." She rolled her eyes and huffed over to his door. She turned the knob and opened it, ready to leave when Jon's voice pulled her back.

"Gee, thanks Char-- thanks so much for letting me off the hook."

Charlotte stopped dead in her tracks and spun around looking at him with her jaw open and her eyes wide. She let out a loud gasp and fell back and into Jon's front door closing it again-- she would have fallen to the ground if the door didn't stop her. She leaned against it for a few seconds and Jon saw tears well in her eyes.

"Thanks for letting me off the hook," she repeated his words in a soft, barely audible whisper.

"What?" Jon's heart pounded as he stared at her.

"I don't need you in my life," she choked out as she stared at him. Her mouth was still agape and her eyes still wide. Her chest rose and fell as she breathed rapidly and her back was still pressed tightly against his door. "You. It was you. This was the last place I was the night of the accident. We had a huge fight," she looked down at the ground like she was searching for something as it all came flooding back to her. She grabbed her stomach and her voice started to shake "Oh my God...we were right here. You and me... right here...and you...you told me you didn't need me in your life."

Jon froze when he realized what had just happened.

Charlotte remembered everything.

Jon felt defeated as he tried to walk closer to her. "Charlotte?" he asked making sure it was her-- in disbelief that it actually was.

"So that's what this has been? All of it since I've woken up-- it's been guilt?" she tightened the grip on her stomach and let the tears roll off her cheeks and fall to his floor.

"Charlotte," Jon moaned out as he stood in front of her and searched her eyes. He went to lift his arm up so he could wipe her tears away and pull her into him but before his hand could make contact with her skin he felt her push it away. "Don't touch me."

"Char," he pleaded with her. He felt tears begin to poke behind his eyes as he had no control over his emotions in this moment. His Charlotte was back, but she wasn't happy to see him.

"No," she pushed him away again and fiercely looked up into his eyes. "You don't need me in your life. Don't do me any favors, don't do anything else out of guilt. You're off the hook, just like you wanted."