Things Aren't Always What They Seem

It'd been a week since Jon had been with Charlotte.

His love for her had grown to an overwhelming capacity-- and he didn't even think he could fall for her more than he already had. He literally dreamed about it, he could practically feel her skin as he cradled her face with his fingers and pressed his lips against her. He could trace the outline of her body as he cupped her breast and squeezed it in his hand. He could feel her trembling beneath him; gently rubbing her delicate hand up and down his back, grasping at the hair at the nape of his neck. Every time he let himself get too caught up in these dreams, these thoughts, he had to force himself to come back down to earth.

He hadn't seen her since.

When Jon woke up that morning Charlotte wasn't in her bed pressed against him. He flung his arms across the bed searching for her but she was no where to be found. His eyes popped open and he sat straight up as he looked around the empty room. After his heart froze in his chest he heard a noise coming from the adjacent bathroom and he realized what he was listening to was the sound of Charlotte's sobs.

He swallowed hard and grabbed his stomach-- he already could feel the knots within. He put his boxers on and made his way over to the bathroom door, giving it a gentle tap. "Charlotte?" He asked quietly, trying to coax her out.

She didn't respond to him but her crying stopped so Jon knew she not only heard him, she froze the second she did.

He drummed his fingertips on the locked door again and pressed the side of his face against it trying to hear as much as he could. "Char come on. It's me. It's still me."

He heard her walk to the door and he took a step back when she opened it. His stomach churned when he saw her red, puffy cheeks and wet eyes. "Hey," he cooed and tried to pull her into him but she resisted. "Don't do this," he begged her.

She looked up into his eyes and quickly flickered her gaze down and away from him. She crossed her arms over her chest and curled her body in making it hard for him to pull her to him. "Char c'mon." He felt his shoulders fall like he was losing a battle.

She wouldn't even look at him, couldn't force herself to look him in the eyes. Jon took her silence in stride and tried to get through to her. "It wasn't a mistake," he breathed out as he cradled her face in his hands. She finally looked up at him but he saw her lip start to quiver and she squeezed her eyes shut as tears flooded them again and she shook him away. "How can you say that?" she finally asked him. "I let you make me into what I never wanted to be."

He frantically shook his head, "No," he breathed out as he tried to tuck her hair behind her ears.

"Yes," she said emphatically. She pushed him away and went over to the bed where their clothes were still scattered on the ground. Jon followed close behind her and started to put his clothes back on. He looked at her as he pulled his shirt over his head. "What do you think you are?" he asked genuinely wanting her to tell him how she felt.

She sat down on the edge of her bed and looked away. Charlotte inhaled deep and looked down at the ground again. "Do you have any idea how many girls I've watched you go home with over the years?"

Jon froze and felt his heart jump up into his throat hoping she wouldn't answer her own question.

"Do you have any idea how much it killed me to watch you go home with a different girl night after night? I waited for so long for you to see what was in front of you and after a while I realized...I accepted it after a while, you know. I realized that as amazing as you were as my friend, that you just...that was just you. And we were just us-- and I wouldn't trade us. I love you, I love being your best friend and I wouldn't want anyone else as mine. I never wanted to be the girl you slept with one night-- I never wanted to be the girl you used to get off and never called again."

"Charlotte you were never that to me," Jon insisted. He swallowed and walked over to her, bending down and kneeling in front of her, taking her hands in his. "Look at me," he demanded and she finally did. "I love you. I should have told you so long ago but God it feels so good to say. I love you," he repeated as he breathed out-- it felt like a huge weight off his shoulders.

She rolled her eyes and shook her head like she forced herself not to believe him. "No," she started to cry again. "No you don't. You see, I'm the girl you've been best friends with for eight years. I'm the girl who was engaged to your teammate-- the same teammate that had been apparently screwing your girlfriend. I'm the perfect revenge."

Jon couldn't believe what he was hearing and it hurt him to listen to her say these words. "Charlotte that's the last..."

"It isn't!" she cut him off. "I thought about it when I woke up and realized that I just walked in on you and Rose last week! You were with that girl for a year and you clearly had strong feelings for her-- I heard how angry you were when you yelled at Patrick for sleeping with your girlfriend...and well, to find out what had been going on you probably thought I was the best way to get back at them both."

"No, stop. That isn't true. You're wrong on this one Char."

"Answer me this," she looked him dead in his eyes. "Why didn't you tell me? Do you realize how embarrassing it is to realize that everyone knew but me? Patrick Sharp basically told me last night! And now that I know what was really going on, what he said makes total sense. It's..." she looked away and shook her head again. "You should have told me."

Jon paused and took her words in. "I should have told you, you're right. There's a lot I should have told you. I didn't know that long ago to be fair. I found out when you were in the hospital- I walked in on them."

Charlotte's faced winced and the tears flowed faster. "I can't believe he'd do that to me. You have no idea how that makes me feel. Everything has been a lie. My relationship, our friendship... I just don't see how we can recover from this."

Jon's head was spinning as he tried to take in everything she was saying. He saw where she was coming from and how she could take things the way she was and he couldn't blame her. "I should have told you. I should have told you a long time ago."

"It doesn't matter. You were the person I trusted when I woke up, well, the one I've always trusted. I didn't know who I was. I didn't know who Patrick was-- I mean he's there and he's professing his love and I know I'm supposed to feel a certain way...but I don't. The person I feel most comfortable and the most safe around is you. I asked you to tell me the truth, tell me if I needed to know anything and you looked me in the eyes and lied to me. We lied in this bed together and you lied right to my face Jon."

"Okay," he took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "I was wrong Charlotte but put yourself in my position. The hospital told us to make things easy on you, keep your routine, not bombard you with shit. I'd rather lie to you and have you hate me than push you like Pat did by trying to force you. I'd take a bullet for you even if you can't see that."

"Don't you think I had the right to make the decision for myself on what to believe or not? Don't you think you should have told me and let me decide what was too much or not?"

"No!" he burst out and tugged at his hair in frustration. "You didn't. I know you, I've known you for eight years. I think I know how to take care of you, I think I know what you need at this point."

"Do you?" she shot back. "Because I'm pretty sure you're the reason I was in that hospital bed to begin with." She looked into his eyes and glared at him. Her words paralyzed him and he felt his body begin to tremble all over again.

He couldn't even dispute it- she was totally right and it was something that had plagued him since the moment he got that life-changing phone call. Clearly flustered, Jon rubbed his hands over his face. "I don't know what to say about that. You have no idea how much it killed me to say that stuff to you-- none of it was true. You've gotta believe that. If you don't believe anything else I tell you, at least believe that."

"You don't say that Jon, you don't say that to someone you love-- someone who has been there besides you-- been your best friend for the better part of a decade! The truth is, our friendship had been spiraling for a while. That was just the breaking point."

"I know you don't really believe that," he shook his head and felt his voice crack.

Charlotte let her head fall into her hand. "I don't know what I believe anymore," she said totally defeated. "The thing that hurts more than anything-- even more than Patrick's unreal display of betrayal-- is the fact that I lost my best friend. The worst part? I lost him long before last night."

Jon literally didn't know what to say. She wasn't going to believe a word that came out of his mouth so he tried to show her. He leaned up and kissed her so hard she instantly lost her breath. He held the back of her head in his hand and guided her back on the bed. She resisted at first but quickly melted into him. He crawled in between her legs and slowly undid her robe, exposing her naked skin to him once again. He ran his hands along her body and rubbed the back of her thigh as her legs were bent on either side of him. "Jon," she moaned his name out as he kissed down the side of her cheek and down to her neck.

She pulled at his shirt and lifted it off, throwing it back where it had been only minutes earlier. She kissed and nibbled at the soft flesh of his shoulder, ran her hands along the muscles in his back and arms. He quickly got his boxers off and wasted no time aligning himself at her opening. He slid into her and relished in how amazing she felt, how damn sexy her gasps for air were to him. He grabbed her ass and ran his hands down the back of her thighs again before moving his arms up bringing his mouth down back onto hers. He kissed down her throat, felt it vibrate as she moaned out the harder he pushed into her. She moved against him, wrapped her legs around him and held the back of his neck. He felt her tightening around his cock and grinned to himself as she cried out. Knowing he'd satisfied her yet again was the catalyst for him to bust one and he came hard inside her as she lightly held his cheek in her hand and guided his lips back to hers.

When Jon pulled out of her there wasn't anything left for either of them to say. He kissed her again and she searched his eyes, still gently running her fingertips on his cheek. Jon held her tight against him and they both fell back asleep. All the fighting didn't matter-- it wasn't worth it. He wanted to hold her and she didn't put up a fight.

When Jon woke up again an hour and a half later, Charlotte wasn't in bed next to him-- but there was a piece of paper on her pillow.

She'd left a note.

Jon dropped his head back as he thought about that moment. He thought he might have finally gotten what he wanted, that she might have listened to him-- believed him--but the note said otherwise.

Jon,
I don't know what to say. You know how much you mean to me, but you don't lie to someone for so long and expect things to go back to normal. We're both hurting. I need time away from everyone to figure things out.
Char

It'd been a week from hell for him. He tried to call her, but she didn't answer. He even tried to stop by her place but to his surprise she wasn't there. She meant business when she said she needed space. He thought after she cooled down she'd come back to him, but she stuck to her guns. She didn't come to a game, didn't shoot him a supportive text like she usually did. He missed her. He craved her touch. His head fell back on his pillow night after night and all he saw when he closed his eyes was Charlotte's face as they made love. He thought once he made love to her that it would all fall into place, but it was so much more complicated than he could have imagined.

That was the other thing. He knew it meant as much to her as it did to him. He could feel it. She wasn't the type of girl to sleep with someone just for the hell of it. It meant something to her but he realized his actions over the last eight years pushed her away to the point where she was numb to the idea of him really loving her. Jon felt nauseous but the fact remained that Patrick hurt her, and that was a given, but Jon was the one who really broke her heart. Pat might have lied to her for however long it was he'd been cheating-- but Jon had been lying to her for eight years.

Not knowing what else to do with himself, Jon went for a walk around the neighborhood. He wanted fresh air, he wanted to breathe on his own for a little while and feel the cold air burn in his lungs. After a little while he found himself approaching the Starbucks that he and Charlotte had been to so many times over the years. His heart dropped as he looked in the window.

Jon did a double take as he realized she was in there-- but she wasn't alone. She was with Kane.