Things Aren't Always What They Seem

***A little over two years ago***

"Hey beautiful," Jon greeted Charlotte with a smile as he walked through her front door with a little white paper bag in his hand.

"Hey," she beamed right back, happy to see him. "What's in the bag?" she asked knowingly as she headed back into the kitchen to finish getting dinner out of the oven.

"You already know," he teased as he placed it on the counter for later.

"You're lucky you picked up brownies." She leaned down and opened the oven door, putting on an oven mitt and pulling out the hot meal she had prepared.

"And why's that?" his eyes fell to her ass as she bent over but he quickly adjusted his glance.

"I wouldn't feed you without the promise of dessert," she teased as she stood up and walked over to the already-set table.

"I guess it is a good thing I picked up brownies then. I guess I know you too well."

"You keep flattering yourself." She looked up at him and gave him a soft smile before both of them took a seat. "I think you just wanted to make sure you had a nice home cooked meal before heading on the road for a few days. That's what I think."

He couldn't mask his smile. She always teased him and it always made him, well, for lack of a better term-- weak in the knees. He loved that they were so comfortable with each other; that they could joke around and play and it never felt forced. They just knew each other. "Is that right?"

"Mmmm hmmm," she nodded her head and held back laughter as she put his serving on his plate. "I guess I know you just as well as you think you know me."

"Well I'm sorry to disappoint you Miss Adams, but you're wrong."

She looked up at him with a playful cynicism and gave him a glare.

"You are!" he repeated defensively. "Maybe I got them because I wanted to see that smile on your face."

She cocked her head and swallowed as she looked over at him. "Well maybe I made this dinner to see that smile on your face," she shot back.

Her words made the butterflies in Jon's stomach erupt. He really loved her but that hurt too damn bad to admit. It wasn't her fault either-- she had no idea what she did to him, how much he wanted to scoop her up off her feet and be with her. He'd never told her and in return he went home with his share of women to disguise himself from the pain that stung at him every time he thought about it.

Jon swallowed and looked down at his plate. "So, what's for dinner?"

***

Jon had been gone for four days. He tried to suppress his feelings for Charlotte as they were beginning to surface again. The dinner at her place the night before he left was the majority of what was on his mind. She made it so damn easy for him to fall for her and so damn hard for him to handle. He needed to get his feelings in check like he usually did when they got out of hand, and when they got home he and the rest of the single guys went out drinking.

The next morning he woke up and rubbed his forehead. He was a little hung over from the night before and simply exhausted from their trip. He heard a small noise coming from outside his room so he climbed out of bed carefully, made his way out of the room and down the hall where he smelled powdered sugar and bacon coming from the kitchen.

He walked in and saw Charlotte standing over the stove cooking breakfast. When she caught a glimpse of him out of the corner of her eye she jumped and quickly turned around to look at him.

"Oh my God, Jon you scared me!" she laughed as she walked over and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Good morning."

Jon swallowed and limply hugged her back trying to get his brain to function properly. "Morning. What are you doing here?"

"I came to make you breakfast. I wanted to surprise you when you got home."

A smile slipped through and Jon walked over to the stove where she had french toast, bacon and eggs going. He lifted his head and looked at her. "This all looks delicious Char, thank you." He slipped his arm around her waist and gave her a kiss on her temple.

Charlotte took a deep breath and turned to face him. "Yeah," she said before swallowing hard and breathing in again. "I wanted to...I uh, I wanted to talk to you about something."

Jon cocked his head and wrinkled his brow. "Yeah? What's up? Everything okay?"

"Yeah!" she quickly changed her expression to ease his concern. "Yeah, everything is fine. It's just, I wanted to tell you..I guess I was just hoping..." she trailed off and instinctively her head lifted up when she heard a noise coming from down the hallway. "What's that?"

Jon's eyes dropped and he nervously rubbed the back of his neck not answering her. Charlotte's face fell and she took another deep breath as she slowly nodded her head. "You have company," she stated but she couldn't look him in the eyes.

Jon slowly nodded and swallowed. "Yeah."

"No problem," she said as she forced herself to smile at him. "You know what, I shouldn't have barged in. I'm so sorry, I'll get out of your hair," she went to brush by him as normal as possible and when she did he grabbed her by the wrist and spun her around. "Wait," he pleaded as he looked at her. She looked at him and didn't say a word though she was silently asking him what he wanted. She did her best to hide her pain, "What'd you want to say? You're sure everything is okay?" he asked her as he took a step closer to her, his fingers still clamped around her wrist.

Charlotte nodded. "Yeah, everything is fine," she forced a smile and batted her eyelashes before pulling away from him, grabbing her bag and walking to the door. "Have fun with your guest," she said politely as she left.

Jon's head fell as he rubbed his face in frustration and embarrassment. He knew that they just had an awkward exchange and that it hurt her to basically be kicked out when she'd come to surprise him with such a sweet gesture. They didn't talk for the rest of the day but when Charlotte came down with a bad cold Jon was there to take care of her.

She never told Jon what she wanted to say, but less than a week later Kaner sent her flowers and asked her out.

***Present Day***

Jon didn't realize it was possible to go through so many different emotions in a ten second span, but the moment he saw Charlotte in Starbucks with Kane, he experienced it. He felt angry, hurt, confused, jealous and relief all at once-- and all for different reasons.

Jon had realized over the last week how significant of a role Charlotte played in his life. She was such an intricate part of him that he physically didn't know what to do without her. When something funny happened, he wanted to tell her. When something frustrated him beyond belief, she was the one he turned to.

He stood outside looking in, just staring at them and trying to get himself together for a good half a minute. He considered storming in and having his say but he ultimately opted against it. As upset as he was, seeing her there with the man who had so blatantly disregarded her, he felt a tiny bit of relief just seeing her and knowing she was okay. He didn't move for a few more seconds and then just shook his head as he walked away.

How could she make love to him, how could she tell him she needed space and then dodge his calls only to give Kane a second chance? She made her decision and it hardened Jon to a new level. He hadn't told any of the guys that he'd slept with Charlotte; hadn't told anyone else about what went down. It was too painful to get to the part where she left so he just kept it to himself.

***

"You really don't know how much it means to me that you finally took my calls," Patrick said as he leaned across the table and took Charlotte's hand in his.

She gave a polite smile and gently wiggled her hand free, grabbing her cup of coffee and bringing it to her lips.

Patrick sighed a bit defeated and broke the silence. "I want to apologize to you. I owe you so much more than an 'I'm sorry' but it's the only thing I know what to say right now."

She nodded and shrugged her shoulders. "Well I guess it's a start."

"I really fucked up Charlotte." Pat took a deep breath and nervous played with the sleeve on his hot cup as he stated the obvious. "I know you have no reason to believe me but I really do love you. I've been miserable this last week."

"Guess you should have considered that while you were banging Jon's girlfriend," Charlotte answered holding nothing back.

"Have you, uh, have you talked to him?" Pat asked nervously.

Charlotte looked down at her cup and quickly shook her head. "No."

Patrick nodded slowly as if that were some kind of comfort to him. He didn't know about what had happened between Jon and Charlotte either.

"Have you?" she asked timidly as she lifted her head just enough to meet his gaze.

Pat gave a slight shrug. "Well yeah, but strictly hockey. If we start talking about all this it, uh, well let's just say it'll lead to another fight and we both don't want to distract the rest of the team any more than we already have."

"Fair enough," she said accepting that response and kind of happy to hear it.

"I know this won't help matters much but I didn't mean to hurt you," he said quietly. This was the most humbled Charlotte had really ever seen him.

Charlotte puffed out air and shook her head. "Don't."

"I mean it," he repeated sincerely.

"Don't. You don't sleep with someone else for over half a year and not expect to hurt the girl you come home to. I guess...I just really... I just need to know one thing. Why? Why'd you propose? Why did you keep me around if you were sleeping with her? Am I really that bad in bed?"

"No!" he cut her off. "No," he said at a lower volume and adamantly shook his head. "Don't even suggest that, you were, uh," he felt his cheeks turning a bit red telling her this in such a public place. "You were amazing, trust me on that. It had nothing to do with you, it was me."

"Yeah," she nodded her head. "Yeah I guess it was you. It was you who was home in bed screwing her when I was in the hospital. I'm just so angry with myself for not seeing it sooner."

"Look," he sat up and fidgeted a little as he looked at her with guilt in his eyes. "I can't justify what I did. I was wrong and I knew I was wrong and I hated myself for it. It was the thrill of getting caught and the thrill of feeling invincible that overtook my conscious. The girl I loved was you, not her," he looked away and shook his head again. "I know you probably don't want to hear that. I guess, I felt like I wasn't the only guy in your life either. So I looked to fill that void."

Charlotte's eyes widened and she looked at him in disbelief. "What is that supposed to mean?"

He cocked his head. "C'mon. We both know Jon was the wild card in all this. It was like I always had to share you with him, no matter what. I get he's your best friend and all but you turned to him for things more than me sometimes. How do you think it feels trying to have an honest to God relationship with someone who you have to share?"

Charlotte pursed her lips and inhaled deeply. "Why didn't you ever just talk to me about this? I'd rather you just talk to me and be honest rather than sleep with his girlfriend behind our backs."

"Well I," Pat cleared his throat. "I guess I definitely should have but...I was kind of hoping we could get a second chance now. Now that Tazer isn't in the picture and everything is out in the open--we could have a fresh start-- just the two of us."

Charlotte felt her stomach turn as she lifted her cup to her lips again. "Is that right?"

"Yeah," Pat nodded confidently. "I know I have no right to ask for it, but I'm hoping." He reached across the table again as she set her drink back on the table and took her hand in his, rolling her fingers between his own, "What do you think about that?"

***

Jon hadn't gotten much sleep again as he tossed and turned, his stomach churning and his heart breaking even more every time he glanced at the picture of him and Charlotte next to his bed.

He couldn't stop thinking about her and Kane. He didn't say a word to Kane, he didn't tell anyone, but he was battling it internally. The only time he felt he could really clear his mind was during games out on the ice--especially since the playoffs were almost upon them-- but this night was no different than the rest. Once the final horn sounded, the last interview was finished, and he walked out those doors alone, his mind went right back to where he didn't want it to go and once again he felt broken.

He accepted the invitation from the other single guys to go out for a few beers. He figured he could use the company and the alcohol to numb the pain--suppress the anger he felt towards her...and Kane.

Jon sat quietly in his seat next to his buddies downing beer after beer. He listened to them talk and watched them interact but he didn't partake in any socializing up to this point.

"What's up with you?" Duncan Keith sat down besides him after observing Jon's silent battle.

"Nothing," Jon shook his head and tried to brush him off not looking him in the eyes.

"Bullshit. You and Kane haven't so much as looked at each other since the shit hit the fan and she found out about the affair. I'm sorry man. I'm really sorry about all that," Duncan said sincerely.

"Yeah. Thanks."

"She's not talking to anyone huh?"

Duncan knew bits and pieces. Everyone knew that Rose had been cheating on Jon with Kaner and that Charlotte found out. When it came to the more intimate stuff between she and Jon, that was where the line was drawn-- no one knew about it.

"I guess maybe it's just me," Jon said stoically.

"What do you mean?"

"I saw her yesterday at Starbucks with Kaner. So I guess she's willing to kiss and make up with him." It was clear how bitter Jon was about it and Duncs could tell there was more behind the story than met the eye.

"What happened?" he pried. "You gotta talk to someone."

"What's there to say?" Jon shrugged. "That we made love and she hasn't talked to me since?"

Duncan's eyes popped open and his mouth dropped. "What?"

Jon shook his head and put his beer bottle to his lips.

"No," Duncan protested. "You're gonna tell me everything that happened. You slept with her?"

Jon nodded slowly. "Yeah." He let out an exhale and finally turned to look at his friend. He told him the entire story, from the beginning. He told Duncan about the moment Charlotte found out and how he went to her place that night and just kissed her, made love to her, held her in his arms. He told him about the following morning-- how Charlotte freaked out and cried and told him what she told him. He winced when he got to the part about her leaving the note, but he finally got it all off his chest.

"Wow." Duncan ran his hand through his hair as he absorbed everything Jon had said.

"Yeah. She thinks I don't care, that she's revenge and our friendship is over. She won't talk to me. I've tried. But him-- him she talks to. Go figure."

"I get that you're fixated on that and you're going through a rough time right now, but uh," Duncan cleared his throat took a deep breath. I gotta tell you man, I think you're fixated on the wrong thing."

"What do you mean?" Jon asked coldly.

"You do realize that despite all that, based on what you're telling me, she's in love with you. I mean, we kinda saw that one too but hell, like I said, this soap opera wasn't our place to get involved."

Jon felt his heart beat for the first time in a week as he thought back to what Charlotte said to him. A smirk crept up on his face before he let it fall. "Nah. I mean, maybe she used to. But she loves him now. I don't want to talk about this anymore."

"Alright," Duncs answered compliantly not wanting to emotionally kill his teammate-- he could sense Jon was already pushed to the brink. "We don't have to talk about it. But if you talk to her again, you should probably tell her more about how you feel. Because you didn't really tell her how serious you are about her-- that you've loved her all along. You kinda played your cards wrong here buddy."

Jon chugged the rest of his beer and went to get another not wanting to hear his friend talk anymore. When he got to the bar he heard someone whispering in his ear asking him to dance. When he turned and looked at the girl he initially shook his head 'no'. There was no way he was ready to go home with anyone, and he had no desire to--Charlotte had ruined him.

When he got his beer and held it in his hand he had a second thought cross his already-intoxicated mind. Charlotte always teased him about how he hated dancing and he wanted to prove her wrong, so in a move of pure hurt, he accepted her offer.

He let her lead him out and felt her body move against his. He had no desire to sleep with her-- but his intention was to spite Charlotte whether she could see him or not. He lost himself in the alcohol, loud music, and sea of bodies-- and when he looked up he had to do a double take and literally force his eyes to pop open.

Across the room was Charlotte talking to Duncan.

Immediately he pushed the girl away and shuffled through the crowd to get to where they were. He realized as he was approaching Duncan that Charlotte had already left and Duncan's eyes widened as he saw Jon almost to him.

"Where is she?" he went to push by Duncs by he grabbed Jon and held him back.

"She stopped by and saw you were busy so I talked to her for a few minutes." Duncan put his hands up to stop Jon and his words were soft, almost like he was trying to reason with a petulant child.

"She came here for me?" Jon asked completely focused on running after her, but he didn't realize he could barely stand.

"Yeah," Duncan nodded. "She did. She uh, she didn't like seeing you with that girl that's for sure."

Jon pounded his fist against the cold wall and let out a yell. "Why didn't you get me!"

"Look at yourself!" Duncan yelled. "You're a fucking mess bro! Why should I? Get yourself together! You wanna talk to her like this? Fucking plastered and dancing with someone else?"

"What'd she want? Did she at least say that?" Jon asked frantically.

Duncan looked down and took a deep breath. "Yeah..." he trailed off.

"What the fuck did she say?"

Duncan swallowed as he looked back up at Jon. "She told me to tell you that she got herself transferred at her job and she's leaving tonight. She had the car outside waiting, there wasn't anything I could do. The last thing she said was, she asked me to say good bye to you-- she told me to tell you she loves you."