Only Baby Scars

Later we're at his house, watching a movie, eating some popcorn, sitting on his bed. Both of us are trying to stay awake.

"You should just stay here tonight." He whispers.
"Okay." I nod and he turns off the TV His room is lit with Christmas nights. I can faintly see him, and I think he can see me. We're staring into each other's eyes. I feel his hand grab mine, and we're holding hands. Then we're both asleep.

I wake up tangled in his arms. How sweet. He's still sleeping, he looks so peaceful. I want to touch his face, trace his features. We didn't kiss or anything, just cuddled close and slept. It was a good feeling. He was everything I wanted. He was funny, and serious when he needed to be, and he let me tell him my secrets. He told me his secrets. My heart skips a beat when I think about last night. It was perfect.

I thought about Alan and that made me cringe, I wanted him just yesterday morning, and now, I don't. He showed me his true colors, and I don't even want to think about how I slept with him. I feel like I want to puke. I roll over slowly away from his face and close my eyes to try and fall back to sleep, out of these thoughts I just wanted to go away. I feel Austin shift his body and yawn, he lightly mumbles,

"Are you awake?" He asks. I don't know if I should lie, so I turn and face him. He smiles. "I can get used to this." He sighs. I smile at that. He gently touches my face.

"Mhhm."

"Breakfast?" He yawns, "I'm hungry." He laughs. I do too. We both get out of bed stretching, he reaches around from behind me and wraps his arms around my waist. I am smiling more. As we head down the hallway we run into Felicia. She stops us.

"Can I just talk to you for a minute?" She asks. I nod.

"I'll be downstairs... French toast?" He asks and I nod again. I'm at a loss for words today. I follow her to her room and sit with her on her bed.

"I didn't mean to upset you, I just wanted to protect you..." She trails off. "But I want to be your friend, you're a cool person so I'm sorry."

"It's fine." I say. "I was just angry, but not your fault."
"Okay good. Do you want to hangout or something after you're done with him?"
"Yes. Of course. My place?"
"Sounds good." She says. I agree and head downstairs to the smell of cinnamon and sugar.
"I hope you're ready for this." He says flipping the toast in the pan.
"Born ready..." I say.

I hug Austin goodbye and hour later, and Felicia and I begin the walk to my house, when we get there, Alan is sitting on my porch. Waiting. He almost says something but Doesn't when he sees Felicia.

"Hey Alan!" Felicia says, not knowing what went on between us. "Do you want to hangout with us?" She asks. fuck. I think. I do not want to be in this position.

"Uh yeah... If Lea's cool with it of course." I froze up. I felt like my heart was going to fall out of my chest. I was angry. I was overwhelmed.

"Of course." Came out instead of, "No".

The rest of the night was awkward for me. We did have some conversations, and it started going away. Felicia decided she'd leave around nine and when she did I was left alone with with Alan. First we sat quietly alone. I felt a burning feeling in my stomach, as it grew more and more awkward. You could cut the tension with a knife.

"Look, I've been thinking about what happened yesterday. I really loved it and I didn't hangout with Angela last night. I wanted to be with you."
"But you don't want to be... with me."

"No I-"

"Don't know if you want to be with me... or Angela." I roll my eyes. "Alan I liked you..." It looks like I kicked him beneath the belt. "But now I'm not to sure."

"You like Austin... Don't you?"
"Alan, I don't know."
"But you don't know if you like me."
"I don't know." I realized I sounded a lot like him. He shakes his head, and folds his arms.
"You're beautiful." He says in a low voice. "And you made me laugh." He says smiling to himself. "And you made me forget about Angela. And made me realize that there's other options." He's coming closer to me. "Can we just re-start... be friends. Erase everything bad." I smile, and laugh and nod.

"Okay Alan."
"Can I have a kiss before I go?" He asks. I feel my face blush.
"Mhm." I bite my lip and he leans in and kisses my lips, for a minute, or two...
We're making out again... I pull away. "See you tomorrow Alan." I say before it can get anywhere else.
"See you tomorrow." He smiles, and heads out the front door. What am I getting myself into.

The next day in school, I'm in art, I hear Angela mumbling under her breath, and when I walk by I hear her hiss, "Slut." I cringe and decide to keep walking. I sit at the table until Austin walks in with Alan, I feel my heart skip, and try to catch my breath... Has Alan told him? He smiles when he sees me, and Alan walks right past Angela.

"Hey beautiful." Austin says, and comes over for a hug. He pulls me in, and I feel him squeeze gently. He smells so good, I don't want to let go but the teacher comes in. I feel eyes on me.
"Hey. My turn." Alan says and I turn and hug him. I see Angela staring me down. I smile at her, and push away quickly. That made her angry, and I sit back in my seat as class begins. I feel my phone vibrating.

Austin:
Want to hangout after school?
I smile up at him. I answer out loud "Yes Austin." I smile. I feel Alan watching me like a hawk.

The end of the day comes and I'm with Austin in his car, on the way to his house. We end up passing his house.

"Where are we going?"
"To have some fun." he looks at me and smiles. "The boardwalk... go on some rides." I'm excited. It doesn't feel like a Monday in California.

When we get to the boardwalk, I follow Austin around. He buys us pizza and lemonade before we get on some rides. I'm having a lot of fun. We go on some fast rides, and some high rides that go fast. Mini Roller coasters, and then we go on the bumper cars. It's so fun, to feel care-free. I missed the feeling. The last stop we make is the Farris wheel. I'm nervous. I'm a little afraid of really high things. Especially that just stay in the air for a period of time. I hesitate to get on, and I feel him take my hand, comforting, warm.

We're sitting at the top and I don't feel afraid anymore. I see the coast, and the sea stretching out far. I'm sitting across from Austin but I still feel his hand touching mine.
"I'm really glad we got to spend time together." He breaks the sweet silence. "It's been a good change to be able to talk, and be talked too."

"Yeah. It's out of the norm for me... I'm not even used to having this... not even a little."
"So you were listening to the announcements right?" He asked. "There's a Senior/ junior social dance coming..."

"Oh... yeah." It totally left my mind after the announcement was made... I usually don't do dances... I never have anyone to go with.
"So would you want to go with me?" Without any hesitation, I knew my answer, I felt really excited for it.

"Yes. Of course." I say.
"Right on!" He says excited too. He's smiling, probably just as much as I am. I'm excited for the next two weeks.

The rest of the week fly's by, I didn't pay much attention to Alan, and I was spending a lot of time with Austin. He was funny, smart, and sweet. He was talented too I found out, one night in his room he read some lyrics he wrote. We've been getting closer. I loved the hugs he gave. I wish I could get a kiss.

The weekend was spent at the mall, looking for a dress with Felicia. Who was finally excited about Austin and I talking... not dating officially, but we were talking.

"I can't believe you're going with my brother!" She exclaims, throwing more dresses at me. "By the way, we're going on a camping trip! The Saturday after the dance." Camping. Sounds fun.
"I'm in!" I say grabbing some more dresses and going into the dressing room.

I try on a few different colors. I find one I really like, and when I try it on, I like it more. It is a sparkled, fitted top and a black bottom. It looked amazing on me. I come out to show Felicia who is also in her own picked dress. A short red dress, with a princess neckline. She looked good in hers too. She turned to look at mine.

"Wow." She says eyes wide. "I wish I would have found that one..." She says.
"You can try it if you want..." I say feeling a bit bad.
"No, I love it on you." She says.
"You look gorgeous." I point towards her dress and spin to look at myself in the mirror. I couldn't wait to go to my first school dance ever. I smile at myself in the mirror and go to change back into my normal day clothes. I buy the dress, and black heels to match. I was bubbling with joy inside. And I'd be going with Austin.

I've never felt the way I did about him. He made me smile and laugh more than I have in years. When he'd call me at night, we'd talk on the phone about everything. And he'd text me in the morning 'Good morning beautiful' or something like that. I feel my heart pumping quicker as I go through the list of things that he does to make me happy. I feel my stomach flutter at the thought.

On the night of the dance I'm getting ready excited as ever. My mom is practically crying. I'm doing my own makeup and hair, which is unruly curly... I love it. And top liner lined with gold. I put on some nude lipstick. I smile at myself in the mirror and take some pictures. Then I take some with my mom and dad. Then the doorbell rings. I swear my heart is going to explode out of my chest. I run upstairs.

"Let him in, and call me." I whisper. "I want this to look cliche teen movie." I laugh from upstairs. I'm upstairs in my heels pacing back and forth I hear him greet my family, and I hear my mom call me. I grab my clutch purse holding my phone, and camera. I make my way down the stairs, Austin, Alan, Felicia, Phil, and tino are waiting.

Austin's P.O.V.

I'm excited to be going with Lea. I'm excited that I got to know her. She's a great person and everything I could ask for. I have never felt this way about a girl before. From the moment I seen her, I felt it in my heart. She's beautiful and funny, and smart. I find myself smiling like an idiot when we all pull up in front of her house.

Her mom is really nice and her dad is too. But I'm waiting for her. When I hear her walking down the stairs I turn my head quickly. She looks stunning, I am speechless, and I noticed Alan must have thought so too...

Lea's P.O.V.

Austin and Alan are looking at me with eyes wide open. I smile and get my hug from Austin. "Pictures!" My mom says as she herds everyone into my living room. We all groan, and get in a group. We all take a few and then Austin and I take some together.

We finally leave and we're on our way. It takes about 15 minutes to get there, it's at a ballroom in town, and I'm getting more excited to go in. When we get inside, Austin and I are arm in arm, and marveling at the decorations, and lights, and the rest of the set up. Orange, red, and yellow, it's autumn. It's beautiful, and when our group finds our table we all take a seat. When dancing begins and everyone heads to the dance floor except Austin and I.
"I-I'm nervous." I admit to him.

"Come on, I promise, nothing is going to go wrong." He stands up and I take his hand. For a minute I'm still feeling a little nervous, but Austin starts dancing like a crazy person, and I finally let go. We're dancing for a while, until an announcement for food is called over the speakers. We head off to eat. Then back to dance more.

"AND NOW, FOR THE FIRST SLOW SONG OF THE NIGHT. GRAB YOUR PARTNER." The DJ says loudly.

Austin stands up, "May I have this dance?" he asks, in a British accent. I giggle and grab his hand once again.

For a moment, I feel frightened again, but Once Austin's hands are fastened onto my waist, and my arms are around his neck, everything is okay again. He smiles as we slowly move, and I can't help but smile too.

"You look beautiful." He whispers into my ear, as I gently place my head on his chest. He's so tall, but these heels are helping out.

The world has melted away, and when the song is over, I don't want it to come back. I haven't felt like this, in a while. Happy? Happiness? What is that? Is this what that is? We continue to dance to more music. In a little while we sit at the table.

"I'll be back." He says to me and heads off. And soon Alan is sitting beside me.
"Hey Alan!" I say. "Having a good time?"
"Yeah." He says. "I wish I had a date though." He sighs. "But you look gorgeous tonight. I'm glad you're having fun with Austin." For some reason, I feel like he's lying.
"Thanks." I say. A slow song starts to play. "Alan, lets dance." I smile, trying to make him feel a little better. His face lights up, he smiles, and stands up. We head onto the dance floor and his hands are on my waist, my arms on his shoulders.

"I'm glad we can be friends." Alan says, "Its better than nothing." He says.
"You're right." I half smile, and look at the table. Austin's sitting down. "I think I'm going to go sit down my feet are killing me. I say biting my lip. Alan looks sad again, and I feel bad, but I head back to the table.

"Slut." I hear someone say and I turn and see Angela with her friends. I roll my eyes but I don't turn around. "Slut." She says again. I turn this time, but Alan is walking up to her, so I decide to go see Austin.

"Hey." I say sitting down.
"You're back. How are your feet not killing you?" He asks.
"Oh, they are."
"Take them off, we have more dancing to do."

By the end of the night, we are tired out and on our way out the door. We were having a big sleepover at Felicia's everyone was going to be there. I rode in the front seat with Austin, and he held my hand the whole way home. When we got to his house everyone was running inside already.

"Lea." Austin says before I'm heading inside behind Tino.
"Yea?" I ask confused turning around.
"You forgot something at the dance..." He said, he's checking his pockets and I rush over confused.

"Wha--" Before I could ask him, he surprises me with what I've been waiting weeks for, taking my breath away, he tilts my chin up quickly, and presses his lips to mine. My head is spinning, my knees are weak... feels like my first kiss. When he pulls away, my eyes stay shut for a moment and when I finally open mine, it's clear he is just opening his too.
"I've been waiting to give you that kiss." He says quietly. "Way to long." He smiles and kisses me again, It happens all over again, my head spins, my knees grow weak, I am sure I'm going to fall over.

"Hey! are you to going to stay outside all night or what?" Felicia stands with a grin, and her hands on her hips on the front porch. Austin and I giggle, and follow her inside.

Austin shows me to the basement, where everyone is already busy eating the food Felicia's parent's left downstairs for us. Its a big basement, with a fridge, a huge TV set up with video game systems, and wall with movies and video games, three couches facing it this television, a pool table, a door that leads to another bathroom, and a table with the food on it.

"Wow." I say to Austin. "This is huge." I set my heels down next to my sleepover-bag.
"I'm going to shower... Do you want to use our upstairs one? It looks like someone's already in this one." he points to the downstairs bathroom.
"Not yet." I say facing him, "I feel pretty in this dress, I want to leave it on for a little."
"You are pretty." He kisses my cheek. "More than that, you're beautiful." I can't help but smile more. I look away. "But okay, we can wait together." He says.

The rest of the night is spent talking, telling stories that I wasn't there for, and eating junk food. We had to get up early but we couldn't sleep. We were excited to go on this camping trip.