Gravity

I groaned when I sat up, head hurting more than it should have. I looked around. I was on the couch in the bus, my dress and shoes still on. "What the fuck?" I muttered, looking around. I had no knowledge of how I got her.

Suddenly, I heard a noise from the back of the bus, "Dee?" I called, and through the bunks I saw Andy walk out. He too was still wearing what he wore last night. I then realized that he looked pissed. His blue eyes weren't bright and vivid, but instead were a few shades darker. His face was set into a scowl.

He said nothing but grabbed a chair from the table and sat down in front of me, resting his arms on his knees, "What's going on?" I asked.

"Why don't you tell me, Kennedy," He retorted, his voice harsh. He was radiating. I could feel how livid he was, just by looking at him. I had never seen him so angry before.

"W-What?" I asked.

"Why don't you tell me," He reached behind him and pulled out several pieces of paper and tossed them on my lap, "Why you have every single letter between me and Kat," He said.

I froze, my fingers grazing the papers dating back to the day tour started.

"Tell me why you said CC was your boyfriend when he wasn't," He said and I felt like I couldn't breathe, "And tell me why the fuck you lied about what happened between Kat and Jake," He ordered.

"Andy," I whispered.

"Why did you lie to me!?" He stood up and I could feel the tears coming, "I still don't know what the fuck is going on! Why do you have these!?" He held the papers in front of my face and I stood.

"Andy, please I didn't lie. I can explain. I just-" He cut me off.

"Then explain to me then!" He shouted. I started to feel the tears cascade down my cheeks, "Why do you have Kat's letters?" He asked.. "Are you that fucking obsessed with me!?"

I opened my mouth, using everything I had to not let out a sob, "Because I wrote them," I answered, barely a sickening choking whisper.

He took a step back, "What?"

"I wrote them, Andy," I repeated and he looked away, letting it click in his head. He looked back at me.

"Don't you dare fucking lie to me, Kennedy. You've done enough." He stated.

"I'm not, Andy. I sweat to you," I confessed.

"How long, then?" He asked.

"Um..."

"How long!?" He demanded and I jumped, startled.

"All of them," I whispered and he looked at me. His blue eyes staring into mine. I watched as the dark blue turned to a grey.

"You're telling me that you've written every single letter since Kat and I met?" He asked, almost not believing me.

"She gave me the first letter you wrote her. She wanted me to help her and get your attention because she was attracted to you. So I wrote it, but you wrote more. She could never keep up with them, so I had to write all of them," I explained.

"No," He stated firmly, "You didn't have to write all of them. You could have told her no," He said.

"I couldn't," I shook my head, tears falling even more.

"And so you just kept lying to me?" He asked and I realized he was crying too. "Why?"

"I did it because I didn't want you to get hurt," I said softly, "Kat liked you and you liked her."

"But I obviously don't love her anymore now that I see who she really is!" He yelled, "You lied about her enjoying the same things I did. You lied for her when she cheated on me! So it obviously wasn't because you didn't want to see me hurt," He spat. He bent down to pick up his jacket and turned to leave.

"Wait! Andy wait!" I called and chased after him. a thousand words running through my head. I could feel my chest tighten and I could sense the words the were about to come from my mouth. All of the emotions I felt for Andy was chasing him away. He was out the door and I followed, "Andy!" I called and he spun around glaring, "I did it because I love you," I confessed. My heart ached as he stared blankly at me, not even blinking. I suddenly felt light headed, but I had nothing to hold on to.

He stopped, taking a step back and furrowing his eyebrows, "What?" He asked, his voice barely audible.

I wiped at my tears, "I did it because it was better than not having you at all," I said, "What competition do I have with Kat?" I asked, "I did it, and kept doing it, because I loved you and I wanted you to be with someone who would make you happy... Even if it wasn't me. It wasn't until recently that I found out that Kat didn't really make you happy. I didn't know she cheated on you until a few weeks ago. I made a deal with Kat to keep her from telling you about the letters, and I would keep her secret, because I didn't want to lose you."

"If you loved me then why didn't you tell me?" He asked, his voice stronger now.

"What would a girl like me have that Andy Biersack would be interested in?" I questioned and he shook his head.

"Do you remember anything from last night?" He asked and I shook my head, slightly confused as to why he changed to subject so suddenly. "And how do I know you're not lying now? Huh?" He asked, "You've lied enough, Kennedy," He spat before spinning around and walking off towards his bus.

I stood there, sobbing. Andy knew everything, and it had blown up like I knew it would. I knew when this all started that I could never get Andy to love me. Now I had ruined everything, and I would never love anyone as much as I loved him.

I heard running from behind me, and I didn't move. It was Dee, I could tell from the way she wrapped her arm around me, "Kennedy, what happened?" She asked, but all I could do was cry. "Kennedy!" She urged.

"We can't help you if you can't tell us," Ashley said softly.

"You can't help me at all," I sobbed, "Because he will never love me," I stated.

"Kennedy, what the hell happened," Dee demanded.

"Andy knows everything," I whispered and she stopped, "I don't even know how he found out!" I exclaimed, "I woke up and he was pissed off. I don't know if he found the letters on his own or if Kat told him. I don't know anything!"

Dee bit her lip, "Kennedy, I need to tell you something."

"Oh God, how could this day get any worse, Dee?" I snapped and she sighed, looking to Ashley.

"I was looking through your stuff the other day, after Kat left and you were gone. I just... I thought I could help... and I was reading the letters. Jake ran in and I panicked, so I just threw the letters and the papers back inside as fast as I could and... I put your lyrics in the envelope instead of the letter."

I looked at her, "My lyrics?" I asked and she nodded.

"Ken, I'm so sorry! We were running over here to try to fix it and get it back before either of you could notice! But we turned the corner and saw Andy walk off and you crying. Please, Kennedy, I didn't mean for any of this to happen!" She exclaimed, "I just wanted to help."

"Well you helped enough," I snapped and pushed her aside. I walked forward, rage building inside me but I turned on my heels. CC, Ashley, and Dee all stood there, pitiful looks on their faces, "You guys were stupid for believing that I could actually have him. And I blame you guys for making me look like this and all of this happening," I snapped, "If you had just left me alone, none of this would have happened."

"Would you have been happy?" CC asked, stepping forward, "Would you honestly have been happy still? You turned into a different person, Kennedy. You started to believe in yourself. Would you rather be back to the old Kennedy who is just being controlled?"

I shook my head, "I'd rather be invisible than have Andy look at me as a liar," I said.

With that I turned around, despite their protests, and went back into the bus, shutting the door. I moved as fast as I could to pack every thing up. All the clothes I borrowed from Dee I threw back in her bunk, and I changed into a pair of jeans and a Ramones shirt before gathering up all of my things. I sighed and turned to my bunk, seeing all of the letters scattered from Andy going through them. He must have stayed up all night reading them, probably trying to figure it out.

I pulled out a pen and paper. I needed one last letter to write before I finally left. So I sat down and cleared my head for a moment before jotting down everything on the paper. I cried- a lot. And when it was over I felt a heavy feeling in my chest.

I folded it up, tucked it away in my pocket, and made a call to the local cab company. When they were due to be here, I grabbed my bags and walked out of the bus. Everyone had gone to the venue. I was officially alone. So I slipped onto Andy's bus and tucked the note into his bunk before turning away and heading back outside.

The taxi arrived, and the driver was at least kind enough to help me load my things in the trunk. I slid into the taxi, "Hollywood, please" I said and we took off.

I didn't look back.