Love or Lust

Hazel woke in the morning feeling empty, a kind of hollowness that felt like it should be accompanied with sadness, but instead there was nothing. Just the steady beat of her heart and the in-and-out motion of her breathing. Streams of early morning light filtered through the blinds and landed in stripes on the bed, patterning her in shades. Cringing into the soft bedding, a stark contrast from the blinding white light that hit her pale blue eyes, pulling the cotton sheet up to her chest, she sat up and glanced around the room. Clothes lay on the ground where they’d dropped, an empty condom tossed in the bin. As she rolled over in bed, her eyes fell on John’s sleeping silhouette; he looked so peaceful laying beside her, his arms outstretched as though he was trying to reach for her.

Letting the blanket leave her body, she got up from the bed and grabbed John’s plaid button up shirt from the ground, slipping her arms through the sleeves as she began to do the buttons up.

As if sensing the movement in the room, John opened his eyes to see Hazel already out of the bed. He gulped as he watched her change into his shirt, her porcelain body completely mesmerising him. Pushing the hair out of her face, Hazel glanced up and captured John’s stare, he opened his mouth as if to say something, but shut it again. His infamous grin was nowhere in sight.

Silence fell between the two, heavy like a curtain being pulled across a window. Neither knowing quite what to say. John continued to watch her as she bundled up her clothing in her arms, but it wasn’t until her small hand was gripped around the wooden door handle did his voice return to him.
“Hazel” John’s raspy voice, much deeper in the morning, caused Hazel to pause at the door.
She turned and stared into his green orbs “It was just a harmless one night stand, a mistake that never should have happened. It meant nothing and will never mean anything John so leave it at that. You and I both know we crossed the line and never should have done this”

Hazel walked out into the empty hallway, the door closing softly behind her. She did not peer over her should to see the effect that her words had had on the O’Callaghan boy, but if only she did. There was only one emotion rippling through John’s veins.

Anger.

Hazel DeLancey was not a person to dwell on things, but as she showered away the reminisce of last night, letting the warm water rush over her body; she couldn’t shake the feeling that was embedded deep in the pit of her stomach. There was no denying the fact that John and her had chemistry, but she refused to let the unwanted feelings she was having surface. Nothing could ever happen between the pair, after all they were both Garrett’s friends and she was Hazel DeLancey and he was John O’Callaghan.

The nonchalant conversations of the rest of the group floated up the stairs as Hazel hesitantly made her way to the kitchen, unsure whether she wanted to face John or not. Thankfully he was not there and she was greeted by a chorus of ‘hellos’ from the hungover boys all seated around the breakfast table. She mumbled a small ‘good morning’ and sat down in the empty seat next to Kennedy as Garrett eyed her suspiciously.

“Sleep well?” Halvo asked, it was an innocent question but it still caught Hazel off guard. Before she could answer however, a shirtless John walked into the room wearing a dark and unreadable expression.

No one spoke, everyone could sense there was something wrong with him but no one wanted to voice their opinion, his cold stare rendering them into silence. The air in the room grew frigid with the silence, returning to normal once John stormed out with a cup of coffee.

“Well he’s a ball of sunshine this morning” Kennedy spoke, sipping his coffee trying to hide the smirk that was forming from his lips.

“Does anyone know what that was even about?” Jared asked. Everyone shook their heads, while Hazel shifted uncomfortably in her seat, not daring to meet Garrett’s eyes. He knew John’s behaviour was because of Hazel, yet hid this from the others.

“Right well, we’ll have to put operation figure out what’s up John’s ass aside for later. We better clean this place up and hit the road” Halvo announced. Everyone agreed, as much as this weekend away from reality was great, going home felt good right now. Nothing beats coming home from a holiday to sleep in your own bed.

The second Hazel got into the van, the tension between John and Hazel could almost be cut with a knife. There was one spot left empty which was, of course, right next to John. Reluctantly, Hazel got in and took the seat, rolling her eyes behind her black heart shaped sunglasses.

The others sensed something was wrong but didn’t quite know how to bring the subject up. Halvo tried to lighten the mood in the air, but nothing was working. Hazel leant her head against the cool window of the van and closed her eyes, thoughts of John and the previous night running circles in her mind. They’d had a one night stand, both already having countless ones in the past, but why did it feel so wrong? They were both angry at each other, but Hazel couldn’t work out why.

As the vehicle jolted forward, Hazel kept her eyes on her hands and picked off the crimson red nail polish that was painted over her nails. Every once in a while, she could feel John's eyes on her, but she avoided him. Perhaps it was her pride getting in the way, but Hazel wasn’t going to give John the satisfaction of knowing that she felt guilty, even if it was just looking at him through her peripheral vision.

Whether Hazel wanted to admit it or not, John O’Callaghan was slowly bringing down her wall, brick by brick.