Nothing's Impossible

The next morning Rimmer woke with a blinding headache, saw Lister next to him with his arms round him and thought ‘Oh smeg.’ and tried to go back to sleep without much luck. He ended up having to get out of bed so he could freshen up.

“Holly, a shower please.”
Holly did as he was told and gave Rimmer a nice wake up shower.
“Aah that’s better. Uniform.”
Rimmer was dressed within a heartbeat.
“Thank you Holly. Aspirin please, for this blinding headache.”
Rimmer forced himself to swallow the *virtual* aspirin that Holly gave him.
“Thanks, I hope this kicks in pretty soon.” And Rimmer headed off.

*about an hour later*

“OOOWWWW!! I’m baaack, feeling gooood - feed me.”
“Ugh, not right now Cat, I’m hungover.”
“What did you do last night? And why are you sleeping in Goalpost Head’s bed?”
“I’m not in -” Lister looked around. “Oh smeg. Hol, did Rimmer and I, y’know, do anything?”
“I dunno what you mean.”
“What he’s trying to say is why is he in Goalpost Head’s bed?”
“I dunno, I wasn’t paying attention.”
“You’re very useful Hol.” said an exasperated Lister. And then it hit him. He and Rimmer shared a passionate kiss before they went to sleep. Lister gradually got more and more shocked as he realised that it had actually happened. He then rushed out of the bed to the nearest bathroom to wake himself up.
“Smeg, smeg, smeg, smeg, smeg, smeg!!” Lister repeated to himself as he banged his head against the wall. This only made Lister’s equally blinding headache worse so he didn’t re-surface out of that bathroom for a while.

***

“Erm, where’s Lister?” asked Rimmer.
“Dunno.” answered Holly.
“You’re really useful, y’know that Hol? I’ve looked all over the place for him and he’s nowhere to be seen. What if he’s hurt himself?” said Rimmer without making an attempt to hide the worry in his voice.
“Why you so worried about him anyway? You hate him don’t you?”
“Oh come on Cat, whoever said anything about me hating him? I just highly enjoy driving him insane.” Rimmer answered with a sarcastic smile.
“And without Lister around, you’ll end up driving us insane too.”
“Don’t I do that anyway?”
“Well yeah but it’ll be even worse without Lister.”
“Mr Rimmer sir, Mr Cat, I think I’ve found Lister.” Kryten interrupted the small argument between Rimmer and the Cat.
“Where is he?” Rimmer asked immediately.
“He’s in the bathroom just down the corridor from here.”
“Right, let’s get him.”

The reason for Lister “going missing”, so to speak, is that he banged his head on the wall that hard he knocked himself out!! Only slightly though, after all he WAS hungover. And he was having panic attacks over his relationship with Rimmer. Had things changed, because they kissed? Or were things still the same? Did Rimmer even feel anything for him in that way? Or was it just a game to him? What did Rimmer think of it all? Why the hell is he panicking in the first place? All these questions were beginning to hurt Lister’s head as he was woken up by Rimmer’s worried call for him. And for some strange reason, hearing Rimmer’s voice made his heart skip a beat. Oh dear God, was Lister…. falling for Rimmer?! Was that even possible?
“Lister!” Rimmer ran over to him and gave him a big big hug, to which Lister only too eagerly responded. “Lister are you alright?” Rimmer asked as he held Lister’s head in his hands.
“Yeah, I think so….”
“Lister, you’re bleeding!” Rimmer cried.
“Am I? Surely I can’t have hurt my head THAT bad…” Lister was concussed and therefore confused about the situation.
“Mr Rimmer sir, it seems that Mr Lister has concussion; we must take him to the medical sector immediately.” Kryten intervened.
“OK, let’s go Listy.” Rimmer picked Lister up so he could carry him to the medical sector of the ship.
“Aww smeg, my head’s killing me.”

*about an hour later*

“There we go Mr Lister sir, all bandaged up.”
“Thanks Kryten.” As Lister began to stand up, Rimmer tried to hold him down.
“Lister you ought to get some rest. I’ll let you sleep in my bed.”
“You don’t have to Rimmer-“
“I want to….. I was worried sick about you.”
“Cheers man, I appreciate it.” Lister beckoned Rimmer over for another big big bear hug, which Rimmer responded to this time. Kryten burst into tears.
“Whats the matter Kryt?”
“Oh it’s just…. so beautiful!” Rimemr and Lister were weirded out by this at first, but then they got a bit iffy about Kryten possibly knowing about their antics last night. They then exchanged worried looks much to Cat’s oblivion.

*a few days pass*

Lister had fully recovered from his disasterous morning after the night before incident, and needed a word with Kryten.
“‘Ere Kryten…. I know you’re not human but I need to talk to someone.”
“Oh, about what Mr Lister sir?”
“About… me and Rimmer. I can’t talk to Cat about it cuz he wouldn’t understand, and I can’t talk to Rimmer about it because… I dunno, it’s complicated. And Holly’s IQ is equivalent to that of 6000 PE teachers, so you’re the only one I can talk to, really.”
“Ah-Hah. So, what’s the problem, Mr Lister sir?”
“Well……. it’s only been a week since I went for that drink with Rimmer and got wasted with him, but…… when we said goodnight we kind of… kissed.”
“You kissed? Like, a romantic kiss?” Kryten looked sickened by the thought.
“NO! Well, yeah but it wasn’t intended at all. I just wanted a peck on the cheek, not a full-on snog. And now I’m confused.”
“Confused, sir? Why would you be confused?”
“Well, I dunno how to say this but…… I’m starting to- I’m starting to… fall for him.”
“Well Mr Lister sir, I really don’t know what to say.”
“Please Kryten, help me. Could you… talk to Rimmer for me?”
“I’ll try, but I can’t guarantee anything.”
“Cheers Kryt. I really appreciate it.” Lister was immediately cheered up and he left Kryten alone in his sleeping quarters.
‘I’d appreciate it even more if there was another human on board the ship’ he thought to himself and at that moment he saw three girls in the corner laughing rather loudly at a joke one of the girls had just told. Lister couldn’t believe his eyes.
“Humans?” Lister shouted to them.
The three girls turned to Lister and walked over to him.
“Who’s asking?” The purple-haired one asked.
“Dave Lister, the only human being in existence.” He offered his hand to the purplehead. She shook it.
“Not anymore, Dave. I’m Psnowy, this is my lil sister Tamba, and this is my girlfriend Milly.” she said and they all made each other known.
“So if I’m not the only human being on board anymore, and it’s been 3 million years since I saw one, how the smeg did you get on board this ship?”
“Well……. I dunno really. I spose you could call us the Charlie’s Angels of err….. matchmaking, if you like.” Psnowy said with an evil smile as she flirtatiously played with her lip ring.
“Right, so… will you lovely ladies accompany me to the disco?” Lister asked.
“Sure.” The three girls followed Lister to the disco to have some fun.