Louder Than Thunder

I couldn't stop myself from moving towards his lips. He was clueless as to what was happening, Hell so was I. I knew it was wrong, but the second my lips touched his the world around us slowed and then stopped all together. All that existed in that moment was him, me and the room around us. I had no idea how long this would last before he ordered me out, so I savored it. I savored and stored every little detail in my brain, I did this so I would never forget what it felt like.

I noticed his breathing, the slow, but speeding sound of his heart, the warmth of his mouth, that tingling feeling below my belt. It was not new, but it was the first time I'd had with a person I wanted so badly to satisfy it.

I wasn't sure how long it had been. Since my world was paused it could have been any number of seconds, minutes, even hours. I felt tears begin to squeeze out of my sealed eyes as he pulled away slowly. I opened my eyes and waterfalls poured out, as I looked into his gorgeous blue eyes I dreaded what he'd say next. In my mind it would be something along the lines of 'Oh god, Riley! I'm not a perv! Get the hell out!' possibly even more hurtful. But all he did was smile and wipe away the rivers flowing from my violet eyes. There was no words, yet there was so many. We were communicating through our eyes.

"Riley," He said, "Why did you do that?" All of a sudden the room began to spin, The world began to move again, and so did the acid in my stomach. I jumped toward the trash can in the room barely reaching it before vomit spewed out of my mouth. I looked down and my eyes decided to add to the mixture below me. Except this time it wasn't the tears that had been coming all night, it was the tears I hated, the ones that made me into the freak I am. The reason my parents left me. The reason none wanted to adopt me. The tears that to this day baffled doctors.

I could see it spilling into the trash, everything turned red. I felt arms go around me and a head on my shoulder. I heard Jared gasp, I knew that he now had seen the blood colored tears streaming down my cheeks. "Don't look at me." I said. "I'm gross, don't look at this." I saw white in the corner of my eye and followed it as it moved to my cheek to wipe away the red. His hand steady dabbing the red from my cheeks with a tissue. This didn't phase him one bit. I was crying blood and he didn't care!

"I Love You, Riley." He whispered in my ear. For some reason hearing that made me puke again, painting the trash can another color. I couldn't stop crying, both blood and normal tears were spilling from my eyes.

"Jared... I- I can't do this." I said to him between sobs.
"Why, Riley? You kissed me first, What is harder than that?" He replied.
"Jared... You're 23, I'm 11... This is impossible."
"If it's impossible how can I do this?" He said as he tilted my face to his and kissed me lightly on the mouth. He did so as if what sat in the trash mattered nothing. "I love you, Riley Alexanders. If it's impossible than I'll fight to make it possible." he said. I sighed as the tears began to slow, "I... I love you too Jar." I said quietly, I felt tears begin to fall faster.
"Then stop crying. Please." He replied. He rubbed my back to comfort me and continued to clear the tears before they fell. I glanced at the clock, it was 4:59 am.

"Shit!" I said, as I rose from the ground grabbing his tissue and wiping furiously at me face. "It's 5:00am! Jared I have to be in my room in 30 minutes or I'm gonna be in major trouble."
"Go, love, I'll clean u--"
"Jared I can't let you clean my mess. It's not right"
"Riley, go, I don't want you to be caught go now I don't mind." he said waving towards the door.
"I owe you one Jar." I said as I ran off towards the stairwell.