Episode Two: Lost in Paradise

When I said that tonight was going to be interesting, it turned out that I wasn’t lying.

I sat between Castiel and Dean, listening intently on why Cas came crashing into my bathroom. The beer in my hand was half empty and I was seriously considering getting white girl wasted with the information Cas found about why the angels wanted me.

“Evs is a what?” Dean asked, the confusion was all over his face and Sam’s.

Apparently, whatever I was, they had never heard of it. That did not sit well with me. Not at all.

“Evangeline is a keeper. More specifically, the keeper of angels.” Cas told us.

“Elaborate, Cas.” Dean demanded, his patience was growing thin and I couldn’t say that I blamed him.

“Aside from my Father, she is the only one who can command the celestial body. It is why Zachariah wants her. He thinks he can control her once the keeper’s influence is reunited with its one true vessel.”

I swallowed the lump forming in my throat. None of what Cas said really made any sense, but a deeper part of me knew that what he said was true. Something was also telling me that my role in this was just getting started.

“What do we do, then?” I asked.

“We keep you as far away from the angels as possible. Protect you every minute.” Castiel answered, his blue eyes stony as he looked at me.

I didn’t like that side of him. He was more distant than ever. It was as if he didn’t want to look at me anymore because of what I was. The realization that I was now a monster of some kind was devastating. I revolted him and I could do nothing about it.

“What happens if she gets ‘reunited’ with the influence?” Sam crossed his arms over his chest.

He glanced at me, his dark brown eyes softening. At least he didn’t look at me like I was a monster.

“I do not know, which is why they will remain separated.” Cas then stood.

Dean sighed, running a hand through his hair.

I understood his frustration. It was unfair to them, to all of us. We had been bombarded countless times from then angels and demons, neither side letting up in our game of tug-of-war. With each passing case the boys went to, it felt as though our side was slipping in the mud, bringing us closer to the edge. There was no way to stop it.

Now it was one more notch against us. One more inch closer to the edge. And it was all because of me.

“I’m going to bed.” I mumbled, afraid that if I spoke any louder I would have broke down in tears before them.

I brushed passed Cas, ignoring the tingles in my stomach and the tearing of my heart. I couldn’t take one more second of his rigid stand or stony gaze. I was dying inside and he could never know how much he means to me.

I went up the stairs, two steps at a time to get to my bedroom. I let out a small barely-there whimper as I closed and locked the heavy wooden door. I was near tears as I collapsed on my bed, facing the dirty ceiling. I could feel the hot tears run down the sides of my face, spilling into my pillow beneath me.

Heartache was the worst, I decided.

I cried for I don’t know how long. I did it silently so the boys downstairs couldn’t hear me.

From the window, the light had long since dimmed only leaving me in darkness. It was pathetic of me for crying in the dark, I knew that. After several more minutes, I dried my tears and stopped. It was perfectly timed with the knock on my bedroom door.

“Come in.” I said, thankfully sounding tired rather than depressed.

The door opened allowing enough room for whoever it was to slip in without revealing who it was. It did not matter. I already knew it was Castiel. I could feel his presence, his energy filling the small room and then some.

“What do you want, Cas?” I asked, propping myself up by my elbows.

“I feel I should explain.”

I rolled my eyes at how cryptic he was. “Explain what?”

“I have feelings for you, Evangeline. Feelings that I do not understand and that scares me.” He spoke.

His confession rocked me emotionally and suddenly I remembered that it wasn’t his fault. He didn’t understand what was considered human. I was reminded that he was an angel, so completely dependent on his Father and heaven. He was pure and untainted by any malice other than what he had to do to protect Dean and Sam. I felt horrible for thinking badly about him, and what I felt for him.

“I’m sorry, Cas. I wish I could do something, anything to get rid of the things you feel. I hate seeing you torn and confused over someone like me.”

The dark haired angel shook his head at me and closed the distance between us. "I do not wish the same."

Castiel sat on the edge of the bed in front of me. I could tell how frustrated he was as he ran both of his hands through his hair. He glanced over his shoulder at me, his blue eyes catching the moonlight in a way that made his eyes glow so beautifully. For the first time, I could a glimmer of what was behind them. His celestial energy was a glittery golden light that casted out all the shadows, leaving only innocence. It was without a doubt the most breathtaking visage I had ever seen.

I slid closer to him until I was almost in his lap, cupping both hands around his delicate face. I could hear his breathing hitch ever-so-slightly when I looked more deeply into his eyes. I was also vaguely aware of how close my lips were to his, and if I wasn’t so captivated by what I was looking into I would have planted the most mind blowing kiss the angel ever had right on him.

“My God, you are so beautiful.” I whispered.

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “My vessel is the same as it ever was.”

“Not your vessel, Castiel.” I smiled in that moment. “I see you.”

“When were you able to see my true form?” he asked.

It was my turn to shake my head. “It doesn’t matter. You’re breathtaking, you know that? The most beautiful creature I have ever seen.”

My words rang with truth. If I was able to have night vision, I was sure I could have seen the angel blush at my comment. Though his vessel wasn’t too bad to look at either, nothing compared to what I was seeing underneath the trench coat.

“Your words-“ he began.

“Are the truth.” I finished for him, but he shook his head again.

“It is the same I feel each time I look at you.”

It was my turn to blush. My cheeks were on fire and probably the same color as my hair, which was equally embarrassing.

“I also like it when you blush. You do it often when I am near or when you dream of me.” He said, forcing my cheeks to burn something fierce.

“You- You know that I dream of you?” I asked.

He nodded. “I have seen it. Your dreams are mostly very-“

“Perverted?”

At this he actually smiled. The corners of his lips upturned slightly. “I was going to say erotic. If I may, I would like to kiss you now.”

I was now speechless. I was unsure if I had heard correctly. Did the angel of my most intimate dreams just ask to kiss me? Was this a trap of some sort? Holy crap, if Dean bursts through my door with a camera I was going to kill-

“Dean will not interrupt us with a camera, I assure you.” Cas said, breaking my train of thought.

“And this isn’t some dream that I’m going to wake up out of?” I asked, more like prayed.

Cas, for the countless time tonight, shook his head. “This is not a dream, though if you prefer you were asleep I could-“

“To hell with that.”

I tackled the angel to the bed, straddling him while my lips were busy with him. He felt better than any dream I ever had of him. I could feel every hard line of his body against mine. He was all lean muscle and addicting energy. I could feel his power radiate through him and into me. It was the most wonderful sensation that left me tingling all over.

I tangled my hands in his hair as I slid my tongue passed his lips and played with his own. I moaned into the kiss, falling victim to the addiction of his taste. It was somewhat familiar; like strawberries. I circled my tongue over his, finding delight when he became more dominant against me.

He took me by surprise when he flipped us over so that he was on top. He broke away from the kiss to whisper rushed Enochian words against my lips. I opened my eyes when he lifted up a little but settled most of his weight on my lower half that was cradling him between my thighs.

“What were those words?” I smiled softly up at him.

“A prayer to my Father. I asked him to keep you safe.”

He brushed his thumb over my still-tingling bottom lip. His eyes were softer than before. I liked this side of him, I decided. The vulnerable, yet incredibly strong angel.

“Do you think He heard you?”

Cas sighed, almost painfully. “I truly hope so.”