Love & Lust
You Know I ***ing Love You
[Anna to Harry]
Hey Hey, calm down. What’s the matter?
[Harry to Anna]
I saw that fucking photo Josh put up.
“Oh shit,” I mutter anxious opening up instagram.
I scroll down to Josh’s photo of Dan and I, “CAUGHT! tell Dan to stop messing with my little sister xoxo.”
“Fuck,” I curse louder than intended.
“Anna, stop being so rude, we’re in a posh place with posh people that wouldn’t appreciate your language!” Josh smirks.
“You’re such an asshole,”
“What?”
“Harry’s pissed at me because of what you said on instagram,” I hiss at my dumbass brother.
“Huh?”
“Your comment about Dan and I, seriously? Do you think before you do anything?” I huff, taking a gulp of Dan’s beer and getting back into Harry and I’s pathetic argument.
“Oh crap,” Josh mutters, finally realizing his wrongs.
[Anna to Harry]
Josh was just being a dickhead, there’s nothing going on with Dan and I anymore, I promise
[Harry to Anna]
I don’t care. Do what you want.
[Anna to Harry]
You and I both know that that is the biggest lie on earth, Harry. Stop it. Quit starting fights with me. You know i fucking love you
[Harry to Anna]
Whatever, have fun with Dan...
[Anna to Harry]
Baaaabe! Please don’t be like this!
[Harry to Anna]
You want to be with Dan, so go be with him. I don’t give a fuck about you anymore.
[Anna to Harry]
you said you love me. Stop this please, you’re killing me
[Harry to Anna]
I lied. I just wanted to know if you still love me.... which obviously you do.
[Anna to Harry]
You are such a fucking jerk
ASSHOLE. FUCKING ASSHOLE.
I bite my tongue, holding back every piece of anger fighting to break free from body. The thing about me is that when I’m extremely angry and hurt I just start to cry and my tears just take over... everything. And when the tears come I’m always afraid that they won’t stop. I swiftly excuse myself to the bathroom where I instantly begin to ball my eyes out.
Why would he do that to me? Lead me on like that in that way. Fucking kills me. How did I ever love him? I do not understand why I would still love him. How the fuck can I still love someone with such a disgusting heart? Maybe it’s because I knew how whole and kind his heart could be when he wanted to but fuck, is that really worth it?
My world is crumbling right now, how long till it’s completely bare? I feel that fucking lump forming in my throat as the tears cascade down my cheeks soaking into every pore on my face. I want it to stop. I want it all to stop. I want to stop feeling, I want to stop crying, I want to just stop. Let me be numb. You’d think that the amount of times my heart has been crushed i’d be used to this feeling already; I would have become numb and immune to this feeling but i’m not. I feel it. EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TIME. I feel him breaking my heart. Maybe he loves doing that to me; he loves breaking my heart to know that i’d still go back to him regardless.
I swallow the lump trapped in my throat and take deep breathes, wiping away the salty tears. I text Dan,
[Anna to Dan]
Can you please take me home. Please.
[Dan to Anna]
Baby, what’s the matter?
[Anna to Dan]
Just please meet me outside. I need to go home.
I walk hurriedly outside to wait for Dan. I nervously ponder my thoughts. How the fuck am I supposed to tell him? Ugh.
“Anna, hey come here,” He says in a soothing voice and pulls me into his embrace.
“I’m going to make things better okay, baby? I promise,” He whispers into my hair.
I nod as the valet pulls Dan’s car to the curb. He opens the door for me and I quickly plop myself onto his leather seats.
We drive in silence as I curl up to my side crying. Dan soothingly rubbing my back and thigh to comfort me. He doesn’t even know what’s going on with me and he is being so perfect. I wish all the pain would go away so I can focus in Dan. Fuck you Harry Styles, fuck you.
I’m so hurt.
I’m so broken.
Fucking help me.
Hey Hey, calm down. What’s the matter?
[Harry to Anna]
I saw that fucking photo Josh put up.
“Oh shit,” I mutter anxious opening up instagram.
I scroll down to Josh’s photo of Dan and I, “CAUGHT! tell Dan to stop messing with my little sister xoxo.”
“Fuck,” I curse louder than intended.
“Anna, stop being so rude, we’re in a posh place with posh people that wouldn’t appreciate your language!” Josh smirks.
“You’re such an asshole,”
“What?”
“Harry’s pissed at me because of what you said on instagram,” I hiss at my dumbass brother.
“Huh?”
“Your comment about Dan and I, seriously? Do you think before you do anything?” I huff, taking a gulp of Dan’s beer and getting back into Harry and I’s pathetic argument.
“Oh crap,” Josh mutters, finally realizing his wrongs.
[Anna to Harry]
Josh was just being a dickhead, there’s nothing going on with Dan and I anymore, I promise
[Harry to Anna]
I don’t care. Do what you want.
[Anna to Harry]
You and I both know that that is the biggest lie on earth, Harry. Stop it. Quit starting fights with me. You know i fucking love you
[Harry to Anna]
Whatever, have fun with Dan...
[Anna to Harry]
Baaaabe! Please don’t be like this!
[Harry to Anna]
You want to be with Dan, so go be with him. I don’t give a fuck about you anymore.
[Anna to Harry]
you said you love me. Stop this please, you’re killing me
[Harry to Anna]
I lied. I just wanted to know if you still love me.... which obviously you do.
[Anna to Harry]
You are such a fucking jerk
ASSHOLE. FUCKING ASSHOLE.
I bite my tongue, holding back every piece of anger fighting to break free from body. The thing about me is that when I’m extremely angry and hurt I just start to cry and my tears just take over... everything. And when the tears come I’m always afraid that they won’t stop. I swiftly excuse myself to the bathroom where I instantly begin to ball my eyes out.
Why would he do that to me? Lead me on like that in that way. Fucking kills me. How did I ever love him? I do not understand why I would still love him. How the fuck can I still love someone with such a disgusting heart? Maybe it’s because I knew how whole and kind his heart could be when he wanted to but fuck, is that really worth it?
My world is crumbling right now, how long till it’s completely bare? I feel that fucking lump forming in my throat as the tears cascade down my cheeks soaking into every pore on my face. I want it to stop. I want it all to stop. I want to stop feeling, I want to stop crying, I want to just stop. Let me be numb. You’d think that the amount of times my heart has been crushed i’d be used to this feeling already; I would have become numb and immune to this feeling but i’m not. I feel it. EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TIME. I feel him breaking my heart. Maybe he loves doing that to me; he loves breaking my heart to know that i’d still go back to him regardless.
I swallow the lump trapped in my throat and take deep breathes, wiping away the salty tears. I text Dan,
[Anna to Dan]
Can you please take me home. Please.
[Dan to Anna]
Baby, what’s the matter?
[Anna to Dan]
Just please meet me outside. I need to go home.
I walk hurriedly outside to wait for Dan. I nervously ponder my thoughts. How the fuck am I supposed to tell him? Ugh.
“Anna, hey come here,” He says in a soothing voice and pulls me into his embrace.
“I’m going to make things better okay, baby? I promise,” He whispers into my hair.
I nod as the valet pulls Dan’s car to the curb. He opens the door for me and I quickly plop myself onto his leather seats.
We drive in silence as I curl up to my side crying. Dan soothingly rubbing my back and thigh to comfort me. He doesn’t even know what’s going on with me and he is being so perfect. I wish all the pain would go away so I can focus in Dan. Fuck you Harry Styles, fuck you.
I’m so hurt.
I’m so broken.
Fucking help me.