Sometimes...
36
"Right I'm going out, I'll see you later" I said and Ben nodded kissing my cheek as I waved at Bryony. I sat down in the restaurant ordering a glass of wine before Hannah arrived, "Okay so I have to ask because it's not getting any clearer, what's the problem at home?" she quizzed and I sighed.
"Nothing, it's just..." "Look I can feel the tension between the pair of you, life's hard enough without you being secretive" she pushed and I looked at her as I finished my drink ordering another. "Oh Ben's pissed with me, it's my own fault though. I did something stupid and now he's trying to not be mad because he feels bad for it but we both know he's not happy" I rambled. "What'd you do now?" "Oh it's...complicated" I sighed, she smiled at me "Isn't it always with you two?" "Charming!" I snapped at her and she grinned.
"Well you both make things very complicated by being all closed in and not telling people your problems" "We don't feel the need to be all 'I hate you, you're a douchebag!' it's our life and we deal with it as such" I explained and she nodded "But you can talk to people about things" she reasoned and I sighed playing with the glass in my hand.
"That say Ben was weird on the phone when you came around? Well he lied, it was my dad and well it has been downhill since then" I admitted. "Your dad, I thought you didn't see him" "I don't! But it's reopened a can of worms I didn't want because he called me Jenna Henley and Ben doesn't like that he isn't aware I'm married or a mom. He's also pissed that I choose to use Henley sometimes but he's mainly pissed he found out I gave my dad $1000 when we were in college" I mumbled.
"Really his name issues cause tension?" "It's because it offends him I think and I totally get why but sometimes I just want to be me. While 'me' is Ben and our family I want people to see who I am apart from him, at work I don't want to be the nurse who's an nfl wife. He knows I mean no harm to him and that it means nothing more than I want to be seen as a plain person not a 'something'. Ben knows I don't like centre of attention, I've never liked it and never been used to it so he bites his tongue a lot when I use my old name but it's the giving dad money thing mainly" I reasoned.
I explained why I did it "Then surely he understands it?" "No! I gave the guy $1000!" I stated and she just looked at me. "You were in college, we all had some savings" she reassured and I scoffed. "Seriously? That's not normal! You got your $300 you thought liquor, clothing and food. We got our money we thought diapers, clothing for a baby that grows ridiculously fast and everything else for Bryony before thinking I had to eat properly. Ben came last in everything and he rarely complained, he missed games for us and I repay that loyalty by handing out money we needed!" I recalled as she looked at me.
"Nothing, it's just..." "Look I can feel the tension between the pair of you, life's hard enough without you being secretive" she pushed and I looked at her as I finished my drink ordering another. "Oh Ben's pissed with me, it's my own fault though. I did something stupid and now he's trying to not be mad because he feels bad for it but we both know he's not happy" I rambled. "What'd you do now?" "Oh it's...complicated" I sighed, she smiled at me "Isn't it always with you two?" "Charming!" I snapped at her and she grinned.
"Well you both make things very complicated by being all closed in and not telling people your problems" "We don't feel the need to be all 'I hate you, you're a douchebag!' it's our life and we deal with it as such" I explained and she nodded "But you can talk to people about things" she reasoned and I sighed playing with the glass in my hand.
"That say Ben was weird on the phone when you came around? Well he lied, it was my dad and well it has been downhill since then" I admitted. "Your dad, I thought you didn't see him" "I don't! But it's reopened a can of worms I didn't want because he called me Jenna Henley and Ben doesn't like that he isn't aware I'm married or a mom. He's also pissed that I choose to use Henley sometimes but he's mainly pissed he found out I gave my dad $1000 when we were in college" I mumbled.
"Really his name issues cause tension?" "It's because it offends him I think and I totally get why but sometimes I just want to be me. While 'me' is Ben and our family I want people to see who I am apart from him, at work I don't want to be the nurse who's an nfl wife. He knows I mean no harm to him and that it means nothing more than I want to be seen as a plain person not a 'something'. Ben knows I don't like centre of attention, I've never liked it and never been used to it so he bites his tongue a lot when I use my old name but it's the giving dad money thing mainly" I reasoned.
I explained why I did it "Then surely he understands it?" "No! I gave the guy $1000!" I stated and she just looked at me. "You were in college, we all had some savings" she reassured and I scoffed. "Seriously? That's not normal! You got your $300 you thought liquor, clothing and food. We got our money we thought diapers, clothing for a baby that grows ridiculously fast and everything else for Bryony before thinking I had to eat properly. Ben came last in everything and he rarely complained, he missed games for us and I repay that loyalty by handing out money we needed!" I recalled as she looked at me.