Dirt

I hadn't seen Matt for almost two weeks. It wasn't that big of a deal to me. I mean, we still had lives. I still went to class, and my secret band rehearsals that my dad didn't know about, and Matt still did...whatever it is that Matt does. And sure, Brian came up to visit Erin pretty frequently, and it seemed like Zee and Jessi were joined at the hip, but that didn't mean I had to have Matt around every second of every day. We still texted and talked on the phone. Okay, who the hell was I kidding? I wanted to see him, and he wasn't around. We spent pretty much the whole weekend together, and now it seemed like he can't be bothered. I know that it was probably just my crazy brain working overtime, but it still hurt all the same.

On Friday after class I got a call from Jessi. It consisted of her yelling into her phone, 'Bitch, come over and bring some hot clothes, we're going out'. So I stopped by my house to grab some clothes. My dad was in the living room, and surprisingly enough, so was Zacky. They were talking quietly, but once I came into the room, they stopped.

"Hey Princess," my dad greeted me jovially. "How was class?"

I nodded and told him it was fine. It was a weird feeling, seeing the two of them sitting there. I felt like I was intruding. I said I was going out with the girls tonight, so I would be out of their hair shortly. Zee and my dad shared a look, and Zee told me he was gonna come upstairs with me. Okay....? We got up to my room and I started pulling things out of my closet while Zacky sat on the edge of my bed.

"So, I realized that we haven't really talked all that much, you know one on one," he told me quietly. This was definitely strange. "I just thought maybe we could talk a little and get to know each other."

"Is this one of those, make sure the friends of your girl like you, kind of things?" I asked him skeptically. "Because I can assuage your fears. You two seem good together, and as long as you don't turn out to be a complete asshole, I have no problem with you dating Jessi."

He smiled. "Okay, that does make me feel a little better. But, since I'm already here, let's just give it a shot." I agreed. "So I'm gonna be honest. When we first met, I wasn't sure I was going to like you. But I do. You're pretty cool. When you punched that guy in the face a few weekends back, I was kinda proud of you."

I laughed. For our first one on one conversation, this wasn't exactly how I figured it would go. "Well, I'm glad. I'm also glad we're talking. And since we're friends now, I kinda have to ask. What's up with Matt?"

"Yeah. I was waiting for that. Matt's in a weird place right now. He just broke up with his long time girlfriend about two months ago. I'll never admit to telling you this, but he's still hurting about it even now. Then you come along, and he never expected to like someone so soon. You gotta be patient. He's got to sort his shit out." I thanked him for the info. "No problem," he told me. "Listen, I just want you to know that even though we're new found friends, if you need to talk, or whatever, I'm around."

"Thanks. So, are you coming tonight with the girls and me?" He told me he'd be there later. He had some stuff to take care of first. We came down the stairs together, and I waved at him and my dad as I walked out the door and went over to Jessi's.

Erin was already there once I got there. I didn't even bother knocking, I just walked right in. They were in the living room watching some horror movie and modeling different shirts for each other. I plopped down next to Erin and examined Jessi's current outfit of choice. She had a black leather mini skirt, and a deep red tank top with a cross made out of crystals. She actually looked girly for once. I voted for the current outfit. Erin seconded my vote. She put on some black, studded high heels and some kick ass accessories. She chose dark eye makeup and a gorgeous red lip. I told her if she wasn't gonna get any from Zacky later, than I may hit that.

Erin showed us what she was thinking of. We both agreed on in immediately. She chose a pair of studded jean shorts, a cream colored kind of woven top, and some calf length purple boots. Even before she put the outfit on, we knew she'd rock it. We suggested she take her bright blue clutch, and put on some bronze eye shadow and a pale pink lip. She'd be too sexy to live.

I had to explain to them that I was being distracted by Zacky while packing, so I really only have one outfit to wear. I showed them that I just grabbed my favorite pair of jeans, with my white and silver cropped tank top. I had picked up my black buckled high heeled boots. They both told me it would be more than fine. They both liked it. I decided to wear my hair down and pinned one side of it with Erin's red roses hair pin. I chose to go with a pale green eye shadow to match my bracelet and a dusty lipstick.

It wasn't until after we were dressed that Jessi proposed that we drive the hour down to Jimmy and Johnny's since they were having a party. I wasn't sure how I felt about it, but both of them seemed excited about it, so I went along anyway. We laughed and listened to music at max volume all the way there. Jessi had gotten directions from Zee earlier, so we had no trouble finding his house. We pulled up and there were cars everywhere. Good for them they lived out of the way from everyone else. I wouldn't say they lived in the country, per say, but it was a little ways away from the rest of civilization. We didn't need to knock when we got to the door, because it was wide open with music thumping loudly out into the night. There were tons of people around that we didn't know, so it was kind of a relief for all of us when we spotted Johnny.

"You came!" he yelled. "I knew you would! Get a drink, and meet some new people. Have fun!"

And then he left. He was whisked away by some girl. He had a huge grin on when he left, so maybe she was someone special. We didn't know what else to do, so we took his advice and grabbed some beers. After a while, Zacky found us. He smiled at me before leaning over to kiss Jessi on the cheek. Then Brian found us and did pretty much the same thing, except he pulled Erin away to introduce her to someone. I wanted to give Jess and Zee some time alone, so I went walking around, looking at all the funny drunk people.

"Ashlynn!" I looked over to see Jimmy standing on his coffee table, doing some kind of dance. He jumped down and ran over to me. "I love that you're here. Matt said you weren't here, but I knew you were. You wanna know how I knew that? It's because of my eye. This one right here." He pointed to his left eye. "This is my good eye. It knows stuff. This other one," he said while pointing to his right eye, "is my bad eye. It gets me in trouble at parties, so I have to walk around with one eye closed so I don't do anything stupid. I look like a pirate!"

I was laughing too hard to say anything at first. "That was the best story I've ever heard!" He asked me if I've had anything to drink, and when I told him I had a beer, he scoffed in my face. He said, quite matter-of-factly I might add, that if I was going to be attending his party, then I had to drink like a normal person. I thought I was drinking like a normal person, but what the hell did I know? So he set me up with some shots and several more beers. Before I knew what hit me, I was really, really drunk. I was twasted. That's right, I said twasted. I was laughing at something crazy Jimmy said when Matt came up beside me. He smiled that dimpled smile that made me melt every time, but I was having none of his cuteness.

"Nope," I told him. "You don't get to come over and be all cute and shit. I think I'm mad at you. Maybe not. Ask Jimmy's eye!" I started to giggle, and I'm pretty sure it took at least two hours to get me to calm down. "No really. I liked you. I thought you liked me too. Then I don't see you in a long time, and you think being all handsome and wonderful is gonna make me not be mad?" I knew somewhere deep down in my drunk mind that I was rambling and not making any sense, but I just couldn't stop myself.

"Umm, okay...?" He looked concerned. "Do you want to go somewhere else and talk about this? You're pretty drunk."

"No way. I'm hanging out with Jimmy!" I turned to Jimmy for support, but he had wandered off. "Never mind. Let's go outside. It's too hot in here, and it's making me have word vomit."

Matt took my hand and led me outside. We sat on the steps of the little porch and he kept holding my hand. "Any better?" I nodded. "So, you think I'm handsome and wonderful?" He laughed but I groaned.

"I should stop talking now. I'm only going to embarrass myself even more."

He started rubbing little circles into my hand with his thumb, and it was both soothing and distracting at the same time. "I think we definitely need to talk about all of this, but not necessarily right now. I'm afraid you won't remember it tomorrow." I told him he was probably right. "I will tell you one thing, though. I've been dying to do something, and I don't think I can wait until tomorrow to do it." I started to ask him what it was, but as I turned my head to ask, he pressed his lips to mine.

This is going to sound completely stupid, but it was magical. It wasn't anything major, just a small, soft touch, but I melted. It was one of the best things, and I was so glad it was happening. We broke away and I grinned like an idiot. Matt did, too, so I didn't feel too bad about looking dumb. The wind kicked up suddenly, and I shivered slightly. Matt let go of my hand to wrap one of his arms around my shoulder.

We went back in a short time later, and Matt kept on holding my hand. Jessi eventually found us, and after taking a small second to aww at me, she pulled me aside very excitedly. "Holy shit! You'll never guess what Zee did." I couldn't guess, nor was I in any position to, so she just went ahead and told me. "He introduced me to some friends as his girlfriend."

That seemed pretty huge to me. I hugged her and congratulated her, and watched as she skipped off to go find her boyfriend. I instantly felt that ugly pang of jealousy. She'd been hanging out with Zacky the same amount of time that I'd known Matt, and yet Matt and I were in this weird limbo place. I didn't want to feel jealous. Jess was my friend, and I was happy for her. I just wished I could have a little of what she had.

I blame what happened next on the jealousy and the alcohol I'd already had. I slipped away from Matt and somehow found a game of drinking spin the bottle. I'm still fuzzy on the rules, but basically, you chugged all of your drink before kissing the person the bottle landed on. I had another four drinks, kissed three girls, and one guy who looked an awful lot like a girl, and then I didn't remember anything else.