Fast Times at West Hills High.

        A few days passed since the party at Jaxin’s house and we were back at school. Right now I was sitting in English class, next to Jaime, listening to Mr. A talk about something I really didn’t have the concentration to focus on. I had one of my elbows propped on the desk with my chin in my hand while the other hand was resting in the crook of my elbow. My eyes were drooping lazily as I started to fall asleep. Personally I was amazed I was even falling asleep. This was the last place to be expected for anyone to fall asleep in. We were all so loud and energetic. My head began to dip and my eyes became heavier when Jaime slipped something under my arm. I looked down at the slip of colored paper. On it, Jaime had scribbled what right now looked like chicken scratch. I removed myself from the previous position and picked up the red paper and began reading his hodgepodge printing/cursive handwriting.

“Hey :) I was wondering if maybe you wanted to catch a movie with me tomorrow? - -heart- Hi-Me” What a weirdo! I chuckled and rubbed my eyes before taking a pen out of my backpack and flipping the paper onto its face so as to write on the back.
“Sure! what did you have in mind?” I slipped the note back to him and resumed my position, staring at the front board. Without a moment passing he slipped it back to me with one word on it: “Sinister” That was a scary movie that recently came out involving a spirit that consumed the souls of children. I didn’t know much about it, but it looked like a good movie.

“I’m SO down!” I bounced excitedly in my chair and Jaime gave me a high five. I chuckled and he did the same back to me before speaking up, “So, should I pick you up at six?” I smiled and nodded. Can’t wait to see the movie!

I went back to staring at the front board, being completely lost from the entire class and not really caring if I was or wasn’t. Mr. A was rambling on about something having to do with the book we were reading, The Secret Life of Bees. Something with Miss May and what ended up happening to her, which we all know is: She killed herself. I remember the days when I felt like I had all the sorrow in the world on my shoulders and I had felt like maybe ending it all would make things better. Those nights when I would stay up late with a razor in my hand and blood washing down the drain. But then I started to think of a poem I once saw. Which the last line was “But the red washing down the drain
        Won’t change the color of the oceans.”

That poem made me stop. I got clean from my self harm and moved on to be better at whatever it was I did. I was a better daughter. I didn’t stay in as much as before and I went out to tan more often. I went to more concerts and wore my scars like badges of honor. They showed that I had survived a time that was much worse than this. So of course I would show them off! I let my hand drop onto the desk and took it with my other hand, running my fingers over the bumpy white scars.

They felt different from before. Like somebody had changed them and rearranged them on my wrists. I hadn’t touched them in so long, who’s to say they weren’t already rearranged?
I sighed and continued to rub my finger over the bumps. I could still feel the razor sliding over them. I hated ghost pains. They always made me look ridiculous, randomly crying in the middle of nowhere.

Tears started in my eyes as I stared at the front of the room. No! Michelle, stop! You can’t cry right now! No matter how much those fucking ghost pains hurt! I sniffed and felt someone tap my arm. I turned my head to see Jaime staring at me,

“Barbie, are you okay?” I sniffed again and nodded, trying to cover up the pain,

“Yeah- yeah, I’m fine.” My voice was soft and breathy as I answered him staring at my hands. I looked back up at him and kind of forced a smile on my face. “So Jaime, what exactly are we doing tomorrow?” I tried to keep my mind off the invisible pains and began asking him questions,

“Oh, well I was just going to take you to a scary movie.” He put his arm, slyly over my shoulders and scooted my chair closer to him. I’d known him for, what? Maybe a week? He’s so weird!
“And then maybe you could come over and hang out with me and my family.”

My eyes widened slightly as I stared at him,

“Uhm, okay. Well if we’re doing all that why don’t we change it to tonight? I’ve got a rehearsal tomorrow night.” He stopped for a second and stared off into space as he seemed to think about.

“Uh, yeah, sure! Tonight works!” He squeezed my shoulders tightly in a kind of awkward side hug and chuckled.

Is this a date?