Fast Times at West Hills High.

It was getting late, the sun had begun to drop behind the waves, painting the sky and the sea a calming array of purple and pink. Stars had begun to poke their way through the periwinkle sky to say hello. There was a bonfire going in the pit at my feet, crackling and sending sparks upward to the sky. The smell of smoke was calming and reminded me of a Christmas I’d had in Pennsylvania. There was snow on the ground outside and the dogs were running and jumping and playing in it. The trees were all dead and grey but had a certain kind of elegance about them. I could almost hear somewhere off in the distance bells of a sleigh jingling along one of the snowy roads. My mind snapped back to the present and my eyes opened, staring directly up at the sky.

I was laying on my back, my feet going toward the pit and my head going toward the ocean. The sound of the waves lapping at the shoreline was very nice and calming. Off in the distance a dog was barking and somebody was throwing a party. But right here, right now, Tony, Jaime and Dylan had all brought out guitars. Two of them were playing while Dylan sat off to the side, having a towel wrapped around Birdy as she leaned into his chest and he whispered into her ear. They were such a cute couple.

Across the fire pit from them sat Jax and Nat, holding each other and kissing each other mindlessly. Natalie was sitting in the gap that was created by Jaxin’s outstretched legs and her head was leaning back on his shoulder. They weren’t saying anything to each other, just sitting and holding each other in their arms. I needed something like that.

That was something I never had as a child. Before we moved around the US we had lived in Texas. Me, my mom, and my dad. Now it’s just my mom and I. My father left us when I was young and I had never been given anything like that from him. He never held me. Never hugged me. But when he did it didn’t feel sincere. I could tell in the way his skin touched mine he didn’t mean it. And anytime he’d said “I love you” had been a lie. I want someone to love me for once and not lie about it. I want someone to be crazy about me. I want someone to love every little thing that is wrong and right with me.

I couldn’t help as tears began to slip from my eyes. Why am I crying? Stop it Michelle! You’re better than this! I sniffed and quickly wiped the tears away as they rolled down my cheeks, only letting two fall before sitting up and taking a deep breath, calming my slightly frayed nerves. These people don’t need to see me cry. I pulled my knees up and let them sit lazily in the crooks of my elbows as my finger laced together in front of them. As my feet crossed in the sand I let them get part way buried in it, digging the soles of my feet into the soft, squishy, broken down Earth. A soft breeze picked up, blowing over the shoreline and sending my hair swishing softly to the left. A bout of chills ran up my spine and as a result the rest of my body began to shiver. It was so cold, and I was not dressed for cold weather.

Something shifted next to me and I saw Tony walking toward his car. He leaned over the passengers side and pulled something out before walking back over here. As he got into the light of the fire I saw he was carrying a small, black jacket. “Here,” He held it out to me, “You looked cold.” He had a soft smile playing on his lips and his face was illuminated with the brilliant reds and oranges of the fire next to him. Before I could reach out and take it he sat down and wrapped it around my shoulders. It was so soft. And smelled just like Tony. It was a sweet smell, mixed with his own musk, making me feel a little more comfortable about hanging out here.

“Thank you.” I thanked him quietly and he put his arm around my shoulders, leaning close to my ear before speaking,

“How are you liking San Diego?” His voice was barely above a whisper and his lips were almost touching my ear. Oh me, oh my.

“It’s definitely no Fort.” I referred to my previous home in a friendly manner and he chuckled,

“Is that good?” I laughed and nodded,

“Yeah, it’s really good.” I sighed and leaned back a little bit, letting my shoulders relax as I continued to talk to him, “There’s so much diversity here. I love it so much.” I looked dreamily out at the water, watching as it sparkled with the moon’s light. And my eyes drifted up toward the sky, watching as stars twinkled in the midnight black sky. Had the sun fallen that quickly? “I can’t wait to see more of what is to come.”

“I think you’ll like it.” I looked at him with his soft smile and his brilliant eyes that were half squinting toward the fire. He really was a beautiful boy.

“Hey, Tone.” Jaxin spoke up, leaning away from a nearly sleeping Ladybird, “Tomorrow we’re having a shoot slash pool party and I was wondering if you wanted to come to my place for the fun.” Tony laughed at him, knowing something I didn’t,

“You’re skipping soccer practice to have a party?” He gave him that kind of ‘Are you kidding me?’ look and Jaxin just laughed,

“Yip. You can bring anyone you like.” I tuned out of the rest of the conversation to stare out at the water and wonder how I ever came to become part of a group like this.

They were so popular, so perfect. All of them were so nice and the best looking in the school. I didn’t see how there weren’t more people in the group. I guess it was like the Playboy Mansion. You had to be invited to join them. I remember distinctly that the counselors had said that West Hills was a “No Clique” school. There are clearly cliques here. And I’m part of one of the top ones! Believe it or not! Little, old Michelle Lionn is in the top crew at West Hills! Not a day would come that I wouldn’t be amazed by that!

“What do you say, Barbie?” Tony nudged my arm and I looked at him, completely dumbfounded.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.” I could feel myself starting to blush as I stared at him with wide eyes.

“I was wondering if you wanted to come with us to Jaxin’s party tomorrow.” He nodded his head back toward Jaxin and smiled softly. Oh. I’m being invited to a party? This hadn’t happened since I lived in New York. Even then it was a little kid’s party. I was seven and it was Mary-Loo Warren’s eighth birthday. She and I had been the best of friends, you could barely separate us. Then when I started to move south we lost touch with each other. If I check back in now, she’s probably in all honors classes and being good to the environment.

I snapped back from my thoughts and nodded, “Yeah, that sounds fun.” Tony and Jaxin nodded and Tone looked me over,

“You might wanna wash your bathing suit, he has a pool for fun in the sun.” He shrugged and I chuckled. Okay, looks like I’m gonna go for a swim tomorrow.

I yawned as I stared at the fire and let my body lean slightly to the right, resting my weight on Tony. I laid my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. The sound of the waves and the fire had slowly been lulling me to sleep since I sat down in the sand. I guess now the dancing sparks had finally made me feel that last bit of tired that I needed. My eyelids started to feel heavy as I let my weight completely lean onto Tony. He smelled so nice and his skin was so soft. Stephanie’s a lucky girl to have someone so sweet hanging off her arm.

As I remembered Stephanie I snapped awake and looked at Tony, with a soft blush on my face and my head hung so you couldn’t see my face through my hair. I apologized quietly and said quickly that I should be getting home. Tony agreed with a chuckle and said goodbye to the rest of the group before walking with me to his car. He opened the passenger side door for me, waiting as I got in before walking over to the driver’s side and hopping in. After I heard him start the engine I buckled my seatbelt and curled up in the seat, with my knees hugged close to my chest and my feet up on the seat. As Tony drove out of the lot and onto the freeway my eyes began to feel heavy again and I drifted to sleep, dreaming of something I really wish I hadn’t.