Status: finished!
Sunflower
three
High. I was high that night. High on drugs and a bunch of other shit I’d taken. I’d been at a pharming party, where trail mixes were shared and I got a hit of the good stuff Adam had been holding out from me for too long. I need this, I had told him.
I couldn’t remember what I did after that. It was a haze, but a good sort of haze, where meaningless conversations were shared between people I didn’t give two fucks about, songs were played which I only knew the choruses of and dances were shared with guys I knew I’d never see again. At least, that’s what I thought happened.
What really happened is what I still don’t know today. All I know is that when I finally sobered up, at least, for a moment, I was holding a lighter in my hand and my house was burning in front of me.
I was later told my parents were inside.
---
I sit cross-legged on the leather seat opposite the psych lady. Sad that I don’t even know what her name is. Oh well.
“Do you prefer chocolate or vanilla?”
Her question surprises me, but I answer anyways. “Berry flavour.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
“That’s the only answer I’m giving.”
Pause. “If you don’t want to give me straight answers, why are you here?”
I pause. “Because I need ‘help’.”
“Do you think you need help?”
“No.”
“If that’s the case-“
“That is the case.”
“Will you let me finish?”
“Do I have to?”
She ignores me and moves on. “If that’s the case, why do you think Colin admitted you into here?”
“Because I didn’t have a choice.”
“A choice.” Her tone is flat. I wonder why that is before I realise I don’t care.
“It was either this or jail. This seemed like the tamer option.”
“When were you convicted?”
I pause, only to think. “Five months ago, I’m not sure.”
“You’re not sure?”
“It’s not something that runs through my mind 24/7.”
“What does run through your mind 24/7?”
Pause. “My family.”
Finally, I can her thinking. We’re getting somewhere. To be honest, I’m just tired. Sick and tired of the nightmares and I just want them to be over. But I know in my mind I deserve them, so I let them continue, even though I know it kills me every night.
“Do you think about the 28th of April as well?”
I can hear her breathing deeply as she waits for my answer. The night of April the 28th brings back memories that have been playing in my mind for too long.
I smirk. “You didn’t actually think you were going to get answers so easily, were you?”
I couldn’t remember what I did after that. It was a haze, but a good sort of haze, where meaningless conversations were shared between people I didn’t give two fucks about, songs were played which I only knew the choruses of and dances were shared with guys I knew I’d never see again. At least, that’s what I thought happened.
What really happened is what I still don’t know today. All I know is that when I finally sobered up, at least, for a moment, I was holding a lighter in my hand and my house was burning in front of me.
I was later told my parents were inside.
---
I sit cross-legged on the leather seat opposite the psych lady. Sad that I don’t even know what her name is. Oh well.
“Do you prefer chocolate or vanilla?”
Her question surprises me, but I answer anyways. “Berry flavour.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
“That’s the only answer I’m giving.”
Pause. “If you don’t want to give me straight answers, why are you here?”
I pause. “Because I need ‘help’.”
“Do you think you need help?”
“No.”
“If that’s the case-“
“That is the case.”
“Will you let me finish?”
“Do I have to?”
She ignores me and moves on. “If that’s the case, why do you think Colin admitted you into here?”
“Because I didn’t have a choice.”
“A choice.” Her tone is flat. I wonder why that is before I realise I don’t care.
“It was either this or jail. This seemed like the tamer option.”
“When were you convicted?”
I pause, only to think. “Five months ago, I’m not sure.”
“You’re not sure?”
“It’s not something that runs through my mind 24/7.”
“What does run through your mind 24/7?”
Pause. “My family.”
Finally, I can her thinking. We’re getting somewhere. To be honest, I’m just tired. Sick and tired of the nightmares and I just want them to be over. But I know in my mind I deserve them, so I let them continue, even though I know it kills me every night.
“Do you think about the 28th of April as well?”
I can hear her breathing deeply as she waits for my answer. The night of April the 28th brings back memories that have been playing in my mind for too long.
I smirk. “You didn’t actually think you were going to get answers so easily, were you?”
♠ ♠ ♠
I love this story so much, okay, even if it only has about six-seven chapters. I've nearly finished writing it, and I know I should slow down with the updating but I can't help it, I enjoy writing like this way too much to even stop. Okay. I'll stop rambling now.Tell me what you think!