We Can Lay With Our Eyes Closed
Fix Me, Please?
“Kevin can’t you leave the poor girl alone for 5 minutes, I know you have a girlfriend but it’s becoming stalkerish” Alex teased and he glared at him as his fingers pushed through mine. “Oh Alex leave him alone, he’s just being all cute. Look at you with a real life girl Kevin. I mean it’s insane really isn’t it” Tom teased and Alex laughed. “So Hayley where are you from?” “Georgia” I answered trying to sound normal “Atlanta to be precise” Kevin cut in squeezing my hand tight.
“Nice place, why’d you come here?” “Just fancied a change” I lied and Tom nodded “She heard the guys here are sexy as hell” “Well she had to settle for you did she?” Alex cut in and they all laughed as Kevin rolled his eyes. “I’ve never met anyone from Atlanta before or Georgia for that matter” Alex admitted “Me neither until I met Hales” Kevin replied.
“So how’d you meet?” “Oh I walked into her and practically threw my drink all over her so I kind of had to talk to her didn’t I?” he laughed “Oh Kevin you do have a nice way of meeting girls. Clumsy!” Alex teased and they all laughed at him “I know but hey good things came from it! Have you ever met anyone from Georgia before Tom or is Hayley the first one for you as well?” Kevin asked.
“No I used to know some people from Atlanta actually, years ago actually. I went to this summer camp thing and met some people from Atlanta” Tom explained and Kevin pulled me into his side. “Cool who were they?” “Oh just a couple guys and this one girl, they all went to school together and the guys were into the same things as me but the girl was one of their friends even though she wasn’t really into that scene. She was cool though I guess, I mean she’d told her folks she was going to faith camp but she ditched it for our camp just to be with her friends” he admitted and listened carefully.
“Sounds like someone met a cool girl” Alex stated, “Yeah she was cool, we had nothing in common but it kind of didn’t matter you know? Like when you were a teenager and that stuff didn’t even matter” “She was a babe you mean then?” Alex asked. “Guys come on Hayley doesn’t want to hear whether some girl was a looker, manners boys” Kevin cut in.
“Sorry! Yeah that’s what it was all about back then though wasn’t it, you went from just what you felt without really thinking, I’m older now so I know when it’s all for real. Kevin still acts like a kid…that came out wrong, Kevin isn’t just with you because you’re cute! He just acts like a kid all the time, he’s still that teenage boy inside” Tom reasoned and I smiled as Kevin laughed.
“She knows exactly what I’m like, anyway I want to hear more of this summer romance you had back then” Kevin said and Tom rolled his eyes “It was a summer thing, I heard from her a few times after we left but nothing more. From what I gathered she got in trouble with her parents but then I never really spoke to any of them ever again. It was just a summer thing, we’ve all had them” Tom explained. I moved into Kevin’s side and he let my hand go wrapping his arm around my neck as I practically buried my head in his side.
“Yeah, I remember her name; Kaycie Bryant, we were both 17. We were on holiday in Hawaii, our parents were in rooms next to each other and they introduced us” Kevin recalled, “Lauren, never learnt her last name. Wasn’t really a summer thing, when we played them string of tours before Kevin joined and she was working as a merch girl, I was in love but she wasn’t” Alex said and they all laughed.
“We were both 18, it was here in Ocala and I think the fact she had escaped faith camp was part of the attraction if I’m honest but she was a cool girl. Made me laugh because she hated music and we were at a music camp but still, Gracie something…I’m getting old but I think it was Brendan or Brannon or Brennan, something like that.” Tom admitted and I felt my body freeze.
“Tom dude you busy next week?” Jeremy shouted over and Tom walked over to him as Alex listened into the their conversation. “Hey babe are you okay?” I never even moved and Kevin held me against his side “Guys we have to shoot off but it was good to see you all and we’ll have to all do this again sometime” Kevin shouted and they all nodded “Bye Hayley!” Alex shouted “Bye” I replied quietly as Kevin pulled me to walk with him.
I just wanted to go home and curl up in a ball, I wasn’t even paying attention to where I was or what I was doing right now, before I really knew it Kevin had me sat on the couch at his with him hugging me against him. “Do you want anything?” I shook my head quietly and before long he’d told me he was going to bed and that if I wanted anything to get him.
I sat just staring at the TV when I heard his phone go off next to me and I saw it was a text from Jeremy ‘Good to see you earlier man, we definitely need to do this again! Hayley seems really nice and it’s good to see you happy. See you tomorrow at the studio at around 11ish x’ I read before noticing it was 2am and I turned the TV off wandering to the bedroom.
I heard him breathing quietly as I pulled pajamas on crawling under the covers, I felt him move around before his arm wrapped over my waist and I turned to face him. I just wanted to wake up and it all be a dream, I still hoped every morning I’d wake up back in Atlanta but it never came. I felt my throat close up as tears prickled in my eyes and before I knew it I was crying, I heard Kevin stretch out before his hand pushed my back towards him.
“Hey babe don’t cry, it’s all okay” he soothed and I shook my head wiping the tears from my face “I can’t even start to think how this all feels but Hayley I’m sorry” he offered “It’s just every time I wish it wasn’t real, that none of this ever happened. I just want to go home and do normal things but I can’t. There’s no home to go to anymore, it feels so lonely because if you went I’d have no one and I just…why her? What did she do wrong to die?” I asked crying.
“I know you do Hales and it’s natural to, whether you’re 9 or 50 sometimes you just need your parents. You just want someone there and it must feel crappy to not have that, this place is your home now and you don’t ever need to feel lonely. Mico loves you and his family would always help you out, plus if Tom knew he’d be so happy and he’d want to get to know you and you’ve still got me. Don’t go thinking about if I went because I haven’t gone anywhere and I really don’t plan on it anytime soon. It comes to us all Hayley in weird and scary times but it’s something we have to do and sadly we can’t pick when it happens” he admitted.
“Is it wrong I wish it was him not her?” “Nope and nobody would ever think it was. She sounds just like you, never doing as she’s told, always thinking she knows best” he said and I smiled as I huddled into his side. “I’ll always be here Hales,” he whispered as my fingers dug slightly into his skin, “I love you” I stated and he nodded “I love you too crazy” he said kissing the top of my head and I heard him breathing slowly as I tried to sleep.
Every time he tried to talk to me about it I evaded the questions by any means possible and half the time I knew he was letting me get away with it because he didn’t want to push it. I saw that look in his eyes when we spoke about it and he was trying to tell me he knew more but I wasn’t ready to know yet, or ever probably.
“Nice place, why’d you come here?” “Just fancied a change” I lied and Tom nodded “She heard the guys here are sexy as hell” “Well she had to settle for you did she?” Alex cut in and they all laughed as Kevin rolled his eyes. “I’ve never met anyone from Atlanta before or Georgia for that matter” Alex admitted “Me neither until I met Hales” Kevin replied.
“So how’d you meet?” “Oh I walked into her and practically threw my drink all over her so I kind of had to talk to her didn’t I?” he laughed “Oh Kevin you do have a nice way of meeting girls. Clumsy!” Alex teased and they all laughed at him “I know but hey good things came from it! Have you ever met anyone from Georgia before Tom or is Hayley the first one for you as well?” Kevin asked.
“No I used to know some people from Atlanta actually, years ago actually. I went to this summer camp thing and met some people from Atlanta” Tom explained and Kevin pulled me into his side. “Cool who were they?” “Oh just a couple guys and this one girl, they all went to school together and the guys were into the same things as me but the girl was one of their friends even though she wasn’t really into that scene. She was cool though I guess, I mean she’d told her folks she was going to faith camp but she ditched it for our camp just to be with her friends” he admitted and listened carefully.
“Sounds like someone met a cool girl” Alex stated, “Yeah she was cool, we had nothing in common but it kind of didn’t matter you know? Like when you were a teenager and that stuff didn’t even matter” “She was a babe you mean then?” Alex asked. “Guys come on Hayley doesn’t want to hear whether some girl was a looker, manners boys” Kevin cut in.
“Sorry! Yeah that’s what it was all about back then though wasn’t it, you went from just what you felt without really thinking, I’m older now so I know when it’s all for real. Kevin still acts like a kid…that came out wrong, Kevin isn’t just with you because you’re cute! He just acts like a kid all the time, he’s still that teenage boy inside” Tom reasoned and I smiled as Kevin laughed.
“She knows exactly what I’m like, anyway I want to hear more of this summer romance you had back then” Kevin said and Tom rolled his eyes “It was a summer thing, I heard from her a few times after we left but nothing more. From what I gathered she got in trouble with her parents but then I never really spoke to any of them ever again. It was just a summer thing, we’ve all had them” Tom explained. I moved into Kevin’s side and he let my hand go wrapping his arm around my neck as I practically buried my head in his side.
“Yeah, I remember her name; Kaycie Bryant, we were both 17. We were on holiday in Hawaii, our parents were in rooms next to each other and they introduced us” Kevin recalled, “Lauren, never learnt her last name. Wasn’t really a summer thing, when we played them string of tours before Kevin joined and she was working as a merch girl, I was in love but she wasn’t” Alex said and they all laughed.
“We were both 18, it was here in Ocala and I think the fact she had escaped faith camp was part of the attraction if I’m honest but she was a cool girl. Made me laugh because she hated music and we were at a music camp but still, Gracie something…I’m getting old but I think it was Brendan or Brannon or Brennan, something like that.” Tom admitted and I felt my body freeze.
“Tom dude you busy next week?” Jeremy shouted over and Tom walked over to him as Alex listened into the their conversation. “Hey babe are you okay?” I never even moved and Kevin held me against his side “Guys we have to shoot off but it was good to see you all and we’ll have to all do this again sometime” Kevin shouted and they all nodded “Bye Hayley!” Alex shouted “Bye” I replied quietly as Kevin pulled me to walk with him.
I just wanted to go home and curl up in a ball, I wasn’t even paying attention to where I was or what I was doing right now, before I really knew it Kevin had me sat on the couch at his with him hugging me against him. “Do you want anything?” I shook my head quietly and before long he’d told me he was going to bed and that if I wanted anything to get him.
I sat just staring at the TV when I heard his phone go off next to me and I saw it was a text from Jeremy ‘Good to see you earlier man, we definitely need to do this again! Hayley seems really nice and it’s good to see you happy. See you tomorrow at the studio at around 11ish x’ I read before noticing it was 2am and I turned the TV off wandering to the bedroom.
I heard him breathing quietly as I pulled pajamas on crawling under the covers, I felt him move around before his arm wrapped over my waist and I turned to face him. I just wanted to wake up and it all be a dream, I still hoped every morning I’d wake up back in Atlanta but it never came. I felt my throat close up as tears prickled in my eyes and before I knew it I was crying, I heard Kevin stretch out before his hand pushed my back towards him.
“Hey babe don’t cry, it’s all okay” he soothed and I shook my head wiping the tears from my face “I can’t even start to think how this all feels but Hayley I’m sorry” he offered “It’s just every time I wish it wasn’t real, that none of this ever happened. I just want to go home and do normal things but I can’t. There’s no home to go to anymore, it feels so lonely because if you went I’d have no one and I just…why her? What did she do wrong to die?” I asked crying.
“I know you do Hales and it’s natural to, whether you’re 9 or 50 sometimes you just need your parents. You just want someone there and it must feel crappy to not have that, this place is your home now and you don’t ever need to feel lonely. Mico loves you and his family would always help you out, plus if Tom knew he’d be so happy and he’d want to get to know you and you’ve still got me. Don’t go thinking about if I went because I haven’t gone anywhere and I really don’t plan on it anytime soon. It comes to us all Hayley in weird and scary times but it’s something we have to do and sadly we can’t pick when it happens” he admitted.
“Is it wrong I wish it was him not her?” “Nope and nobody would ever think it was. She sounds just like you, never doing as she’s told, always thinking she knows best” he said and I smiled as I huddled into his side. “I’ll always be here Hales,” he whispered as my fingers dug slightly into his skin, “I love you” I stated and he nodded “I love you too crazy” he said kissing the top of my head and I heard him breathing slowly as I tried to sleep.
Every time he tried to talk to me about it I evaded the questions by any means possible and half the time I knew he was letting me get away with it because he didn’t want to push it. I saw that look in his eyes when we spoke about it and he was trying to tell me he knew more but I wasn’t ready to know yet, or ever probably.