Along the Way

Slowly but surely, I'm discovering my own life lessons.
Never hold the past too closely, and let go of what you can't control.
Also, I've learned to never under estimate Dahlia Morris.
When she says 'everywhere', the girl means it quite literally.

"We can hitch hike across the country, from sea to shining sea." She had a map spread across the counter and grinned like a kid in a candy store. She looked at me with such excitement, I couldn't rain on her parade quite yet. I held off the reality check for as long as possible.
"After that, we can catch a plane to Italy or Japan. Where ever you want to go first. Just imagine what we'll see, Shane. Nothing anyone could ever describe."

I sighed and rubbed the back of my neck. "But.. what about your parents?"

She sobered up considerably. "What about them?"

"They'll probably notice your leave of absence, Doll."

She shrugged and shook her head. "They'll be fine."

I leaned against the counter, meeting her downcast eyes.
"You need to tell me."

I could see she was holding back a sort of painful grimace, the decision swaying back and forth in her eyes. I reached for her hand, the way she had done for me that day on the bridge.
To my suprise, she flinched. I looked down at her sleeve to see a small dark stain, I quickly pushed it up to her elbow. Thats when I saw the scars.
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"It started when I was a little girl... terrible things I can't even talk about. I think my mother lost a child before me, that would explain alot of the hatred. There's so much of it. Most of the time I can hardly breathe in that house, the tension is so thick. For years I made excuses for them, maybe it was just tough love, or their way of building character. Then I grew tired of it, and decided there must be something wrong with me. So I took it out on my skin. I spelled out every worry and made it disappear. What I didn't think of, though, was how it never really went away. And now I carry all of them like scarlet letters."
We sat on the sofa, my gut sinking as I finally put everything together that I had over looked.
Dahlia always wore long sleeves. I had assumed she easily got cold. It made me feel nieve and foolish to let all of the signs pass right in front of me.

"But... why do you still need it? You always seem so happy..."

She sighed and tears sprung in her eyes.
"I don't know.. when I'm alone, everything catches up with me. It's like I'm flying a kite and as long as I run, it'll stay in the air. But always following me, and if I stop to breathe, everything crashes down."

I wipe away a stray tear and try to hold my own back. All this time I had assumed her life was a fairy tale. Yet even though she grew up with necessities, she was still hungry for something. Something I couldn't place. Again, I felt helpless. Standing by while she was in pain.
"Tell me how I can fix it."

She smiled sadly and shook her head. "It's not your responsibility, Shane. Even then, I'm not sure. All I know is that I'm happy when I'm around you and you simply can't leave me here to rot. Because I will."

I took this in and nodded. "Alright, then. Where do we start?"
She smiled and kissed my cheek.
I'm pretty sure my heart stopped for more than a minute.

Later that evening, our plans were set. The next morning Dahlia would withdraw the account she had been saving since childhood and we would take nothing but the funds and the clothes on our backs.

I tried talking her out of hitch hiking, but she's rather hard headed. We'll catch a ride to some near by city and buy a cheap vehicle. We'll go south first, since we're both sick of the bitter weather.

Dahlia wants to sneak back to her house tonight, to give her cheuffer his rolex and say goodbye to her cook. They were both sworn to secrecy.

I may regret it later, it's risky to involve people and dangerous at every angle to be seen at her house. Honestly, I just want to keep the smile on her face. Subconsiously, I still wanted to fix whatever was broken inside of her.
For once, I want to be the one who saves her.