The Reason
Prefix
I guess I don’t really know where to start.
I don’t really talk about him anymore.
I just tried forgetting about him because he was the reason I couldn’t figure out my relationships.
He was the reason I couldn’t stay committed to one bed.
He was the reason I couldn’t stay committed to one last name.
He was the reason I couldn’t deal with my emotions anymore.
He was the reason I doped up every time I felt anything.
He was the reason I drank.
He was the reason I was bitter towards everyone.
He was the reason I lost myself.
But I just tried to put it on the fact that I had become heartless. Finally I just caved into the thought that I didn’t know how to feel anymore. I couldn’t blame anything on him, how could I blame something on someone I was trying to forget? That was a big mistake. You don’t forget the your first and only true love.
I used to spend my days hustling to stay alive. I just tricked people to get a good deal on money. I had the best poker tricks, I had the best cards up my sleeve during blackjack, I always knew who was going to win when we fought in the back alley and I wasn’t exactly below fixing a game. I knew how to hustle a few pills once in a while and I could always get a refill on my latest fix for cheap. I was a fucking hood rat and that’s all I knew. I was a high school dropout who lived in an apartment that always smelt like piss where my friends overdosed on the floor and I just watched, had a good laugh, and pounded a beer. Guys like this now make me sick, I fucking spit on people as low as I was. I can’t believe that was ever me. I don’t want to believe that was ever me.
He totally changed my life. Gave me a 180 on how I looked at things.
I don’t really talk about him anymore.
I just tried forgetting about him because he was the reason I couldn’t figure out my relationships.
He was the reason I couldn’t stay committed to one bed.
He was the reason I couldn’t stay committed to one last name.
He was the reason I couldn’t deal with my emotions anymore.
He was the reason I doped up every time I felt anything.
He was the reason I drank.
He was the reason I was bitter towards everyone.
He was the reason I lost myself.
But I just tried to put it on the fact that I had become heartless. Finally I just caved into the thought that I didn’t know how to feel anymore. I couldn’t blame anything on him, how could I blame something on someone I was trying to forget? That was a big mistake. You don’t forget the your first and only true love.
I used to spend my days hustling to stay alive. I just tricked people to get a good deal on money. I had the best poker tricks, I had the best cards up my sleeve during blackjack, I always knew who was going to win when we fought in the back alley and I wasn’t exactly below fixing a game. I knew how to hustle a few pills once in a while and I could always get a refill on my latest fix for cheap. I was a fucking hood rat and that’s all I knew. I was a high school dropout who lived in an apartment that always smelt like piss where my friends overdosed on the floor and I just watched, had a good laugh, and pounded a beer. Guys like this now make me sick, I fucking spit on people as low as I was. I can’t believe that was ever me. I don’t want to believe that was ever me.
He totally changed my life. Gave me a 180 on how I looked at things.