Do You Really Need Me?

Jack slept badly that night. He didn’t understand how he was supposed to impress Rian when his owner wanted nothing to do with him? He didn’t dare try to make him breakfast the next day for fear of being yelled at again so he just lay on his mat once he woke up. He was trying to give himself the confidence to talk to Rian.

He had a right to know. He had a right to know if Rian was thinking of getting rid of him so he could attempt to change. Maybe it was how badly he was doing in training? He silently vowed to try harder. He would do whatever he could to never make Rian upset again so that he had no reason to get rid of Jack. Not that he needed a reason but Jack wasn’t thinking about that.

He heard Rian stir in his bed and roll over.
"Jack" he said, voice full of sleep "Come up here"
Jack froze, he had only been asked to go up onto his master's bed a few times before and never while Rian was still IN the bed.

He lifted his head up so that he could see onto the bed and saw Rian's hand waving him up. He didn't want to give Rian an excuse to get angry so he quickly pulled himself up onto the bed and at on the end.

"Come here" said Rian gesturing for him to come closer.
Jack crawled up so that he was eye level with Rian. Rian smiled warmly at him before wrapping both arms around Jack's middle and pulling him so that he was lying down in the bed with him. His back was held tightly against his owner's chest.

Jack didn't fight the sudden movement, he still didn't want to make Rian angry but he had no idea why Rian was acting like this. Was he being affectionate? Why? Rian kept his arms around jack for a long time, not saying anything, just holding him.

"What's going on Jack?" whispered Rian eventually and Jack froze, should he tell Rian now? No. Not now, not when he could probably crush Jack if he got REALLY mad.
"N-Nothing" he stuttered out

Rian just moved one hand away from Jack's stomach and stroked back his hair gently
"I don't believe you" said Rian "But I trust you would tell me if it was really important so I'm going to let it slide this time ok?"

Jack nodded slightly before trying to roll away from Rian who tightened his arms around Jack who quickly gasped as air was pushed out of his lungs.

Ok. Thought Jack. He might not even give me away, he might just kill me. Jack had never been more scared in his life.

"Where are you going?" asked Rian
"I just wanted to roll over" whispered Jack, his eyes closed tightly. He didn't want to make Rian mad.
He felt Rian's arms loosen up and Jack quickly rolled over, burying hi face into Rian's neck so that he wouldn't see the fear on his face.

Jack hated this. Hiding from Rian. He just wanted to tell him, to come clean. He hated not knowing how Rian felt or how he was going to react to things that Jack did. From trying to make breakfast (bad idea) to trying to move away when Rian was - for lack of a better word - cuddling with him. In Rian's own bed no less!

"I didn't mean to make you upset Jack" whispered Rian "You've just been acting a bit strange"
Jack just shrugged.

#

A few hours later and Jack and Rian finally made it out of bed. Jack was feeling good again.
Maybe Rian doesn't hate me. He thought.
Jack was just starting to think positively again until after breakfast (or brunch as it was quite late) when Rian's phone rang.

Rian sighed before picking it up
"I have to take this" he mumbled "Will you be ok watching TV for a little while?"
Jack nodded eagerly and Rian ruffled his hair before leaving the room. Jack switched on the TV and sat on the floor in front of it but soon enough his curiosity got the better of him. He wanted to know if Rian was talking about him and if he was, what was he saying?

Jack crept as quietly as he could to the bedroom. The door was shut so Jack pressed his ear up against it and his ears twitched to catch the soft words that Rian was saying.
"No" he heard Rian mumble "I can't get him to leave me alone"

Jack gasped softly and sank down onto the ground. He didn't want to hear anymore. Was Rian talking about him? No, he couldn't be. Rian invited him into his bed this morning. Maybe it was a test?

Jack silently cursed himself. Of Course it was a test! But had he failed or passed? Rian was too confusing sometimes.

Jack heard Rian hang up the phone and scrambled as quietly as he could back onto his mat in the lounge room as quietly as he could. He sat on his mat and focused his eyes on the TV in front of him and pretended to be interested in it.

Rian walked in not long after and smiled at Jack before ruffling his hair but Jack refused to let himself react. What if it was another test? Jack couldn't afford to fail anymore of Rian's tests. He was really starting to worry.

He couldn't understand what he was doing wrong. All he wanted was for Rian to want and maybe even love him, was that too much to ask?