Catalyst

"Wow, so that's it?", Kate says.
I pop a cheeto in my mouth and shrug. "Yep."
"I'm happy. He's not using you anymore."
I sigh and place the bag of chips on the living room table and lay down on the couch. "But then why do I still have these feelings for him? I want to hate him. I really do.. He wasn't like this. He respected me, yah know. Back then..."
"When the fame didn't get to him? When all those groupies and band sluts didn't throw themselves at him? And when he wasn't a sleaze?"
I turn to her. "Yeah, that time.", I grimace.
"Well, he's not that Tony anymore. He's older now and his band is getting more and more popular by the day. It's all changing him."
I put my arm over my eyes and sigh again.
"Look, I'm sorry about everything that happened, Gabby, really.", she says sincerely, "Maybe he's just- he's just confused. I don't know.. He's 26. He doesn't want to commit, but yet he doesn't want to lose you. He loves you so much, Gabriella."
"Then why did he do this?", I whisper.
"Because he's not ready to commit. I don't know... You know him more than me."
I sit up and shake my head. "I thought I did.. But whatever, what happened, happened. I'm just going with the flow now."
"Well, tell me about that Andy guy you met then!"
I smile. "He's sweet. He's from this band? We Came As Romans?"
"Whoa- another guy in a band? Well aren't you the band whore!", she laughs and slaps my arm.
I laugh. "Oh sush!"
She chuckles. "I'm kidding! How is he? Do you like him?"
I let out a small laugh. "Well, I don't know. We've talked through the phone for some days now. He's on tour.. I'll see him in a week. We've made plans to meet up. Since I mistakingly forgot to give him his jacket back."
"Oh gosh. Think there's something going on between you two?"
I shrug and scratch the side of my head. "Eh, I don't know. I'm just taking it as it comes. He won't stop until he proves he's not like Tony."
Kate laughs. "I have feeling that won't take too long. Tony isn't hard to top."
I sigh and nod. "Yeah... I guess.."
That's such a lie. No one could ever top him.
"I hope you two get together. He seems great."
I get up from the couch and walk to the kitchen. "Whatever happens, happens."

I come back from work and as I walk up to my door, I look up and see something taped on my door.
I peel it off and unlock the door, stepping into my apartment. I set my bag on the kitchen and pull out a seat to sit on and I start to read the small sticky note paper.
'Gabriella, I want to talk to you. I thought you were already home, since you get home early on Fridays... But I guess not this time. Anyways- please, please, call me once you read this. I'm sorry. Just please call, ok? Love you.
Tony'

My heart skips a beat and my palms start to sweat. It's been a week since what had happened. I set the note down on the table and get up and walk to my room.
Too bad I deleted his number.
Good thing I don't know it by heart.
As I get ready for a small nap, my mind repeats itself-
You don't need him. You don't need his bullshit in your life.

Somethings... Somethings making a loud noise.. It won't stop.. I'm so tired and sleepy..
My eyes miraculously open and I hear my phone go off. I grab it from my side drawer and answer without looking at the screen name.
"Hello?", I say sleepily.
"Oh- you were taking your nap, weren't you? I'm sorry.", a scruffy voice says.
I rub my eyes. "Who is this?"
"Seriously? It's Tony."
I'm awake now. I feel the adrenaline shoot trough me. My feet get off the bed and I sit on the side of it. "Oh.. Tony."
"Did you delete my number already?"
I wait a second until I answer. "Yeah, I did. That same night actually."
"I figured. You never called me. Did you see the note?"
"Yes, yes I did."
I hear him breathe in deeply. "Im serious, Gabriella. I really want to talk to you. I want to see you."
"I- I know. I read the note."
"I didn't call or anything this week because I thought that some time off to cool down would be good."
I stay silent.
"So..?"
"So, what?"
He sighs. "Gabby, please..."
"What?"
"Can we meet up? Please?"
"When?"
"Well, when do you want to?"
"I honestly don't care, Tony."
"Gabriella!"
"What?!"
He let's out a sigh of frustration. "Okay, okay.. I deserve this-"
"No, Tony. You deserve so much more than my stupid attitude towards you. You dick-"
"Okay- okay! Can we meet up today? Right now?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"I'm tired."
"Okay... Tomorrow?"
"Hmm..."
"Gabriella-"
"Shut up. I'm thinking. What time?"
"I dun' know, morning?"
"No."
"Afternoon?"
"No."
"Night???", he asks frustrated.
"Nope."
"Fuck, Gabby! Come on!", he yells.
"Don't yell."
"I'm trying here!"
"Guess you'll never see me."
"Gabriella- you know what. I knew you were gonna be this way. I know you too well. I'm coming over right now."
"Then I'm locking my doors."
"I don't give a fuck, I'll break in."
"I'll call the cops."
"I'll break out of fucking jail and run to see you and beg you to forgive me. Then I'll treat you like you deserve to be treated. Then we could be how we used to be before I was fucked in the head and stupid."
I try my best not to smile and to hold on to my anger, but it's no use.
"So, I'll be there in a couple minutes."
"... okay..", I mumble.
"I love you."

He wasn't kidding when he said a couple of minutes.
Just ten minutes later, he was here.
I open the door and let him in.
"Did you speed over here or something?", I ask. He chuckles.
"I was already on my way when we were talking over the phone."
I shake my head and sigh.
He walks over to me and tries giving me a hug, but I back away.
"Not that easily."
He stares at me. "This is when I start to beg..."
"No- no, no, no.", I say frustrated.
I walk over to the sofa and sit down. He follows and sits down next to me.
"I don't want 'sorry's, or for you to beg.. I want a damn explanation."
I turn to him and he stares at me, serious.
"Why?"
He sighs. "Because I thought- I thought that I loved her too."
I look away. "And do you?"
I feel his hand on my lap. I look at it, his tattooed hands.
"No. I don't. When you were busy with school and work.. And I was on tour- she was there. And you weren't.. It was easy I guess."
He makes a disgusted noise and takes his hand off my lap. I look at him, he shakes his head at himself. "I'm fucking stupid...", he mumbles. "You didn't know- but at the party, when you were talking to all my guy friends, I was getting really really jealous. I had to pull you away."
"They were your friends Tony."
"I know- I know. But- I just, I don't know. I was scared you were gonna see something in them that you don't see in me."
"Like what, Tony?", I say chuckling. "You already had everything I needed. I thought you knew."
"No, I didn't. You're this amazing girl- super amazing.. Unbelievably amazing... And I'm this douche bag of a guy.. I changed so much- I don't know. I don't know."
He puts his head in his hands. I stare at him for a while, then scoot closer to him.
"Hey...", I mumble and nudge him.
He doesn't look up. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry..", he whispers.
I put my arm around him. "Tone..."
He looks up, his eyes watery.
"Don't make me regret this, okay?"
My eyes start to water. He turns to me.
"I forgive you, okay?", I say with a croaky voice. "Just- just don't make me regret it."
Tears start to fall and he pulls me in for a hug. He kisses my neck and then pulls away.
"I forgive you-", I say and wipe away my tears, "But- let's just stay.. Mutual, okay?"
He frowns and looks down, then back up at me. "Anything you want. Anything."
"It's nothing personal- well, it is, I guess. But-"
He shakes his head and wipes away the tear coming down my cheek. "It's okay. I didn't expect us to just go back to normal immediately. I know it'll take some time."
I smile at him. The look in his eyes seems real now. Not that fake, tired look. It looks like he actually got some sleep or something.
"Are you doing anything tomorrow?", he asks.
"N-", and as I'm about to say no, I remember that Andy will be coming to visit tomorrow. "Oh- shoot. I do."
"Oh.. Really?"
"Yah, I'm meeting up with someone.."
"Kate?"
I shake my head. "No. I just met him. I actually met him-"
"Him..", he repeats slowly.
I stare at him. His expression changes from sincere to annoyed.
"-at the party.", I finish.
He doesn't notice that I notice him clench his fists. "What's his name?"
"It doesn't matter. We're just gonna hang out tomorrow. Since he was on tour this whole week- he's coming back tomorrow and-"
"So it's a band guy?"
"Yes, Tony."
"Who is it?"
"Tony- I don't want to.."
"Look, it's no big deal. I'm cool about this. What's his name?"
I let out a deep sigh. "Andy."
He looks around, thinking about it.
"Glass...?"
I nod.
His eyes widen and he grins. "That guy? Really?"
I roll my eyes and get up. "Don't start, Tony."
"I'm not-"
I walk to the kitchen and he follows behind me.
"It's just- wow. Do you two like each other?"
"Tony-"
"I just want to know.", he shrugs. I lean against the fridge.
"I don't know! We just met, Tony."
We stay silent for a while. "Well, this sucks.", he says.
"Tony!"
"I'm just being honest.", he laughs. "Buy okay, whatever. Let's forget about it. Well, wanna hang out today?"
I'm shocked that he let it go so fast. He doesn't even look bothered.
"Yeah, I do."
He smiles. "Alright, let's go out to eat and do stuff."
"Let me get ready."
I walk by him and he grabs my arm, kissing my cheeks. "You'll end up with me though."
I push him away, softly. "You're so cocky."
He pulls me toward him. "I'll never let you go. No matter what, Gabby."
He kisses me, and despite the fact that we're supposed to be mutual, I kiss back. I missed the feel of his soft lips against mine.
I pull away and he smiles.
"I'll be back.", I say walking to my bedroom. He puts his hands in his pockets and smiles. "I'll be waiting."