Catalyst

Months have passed by. The days seem long, but in a good way. Andy and I have grown closer. Not dating close... But... close enough for it to get pretty personal. There's no need to label it just yet.

"An- Andy-", I stutter. He pushes me against the wall and starts to kiss my chest and unbutton my shirt. He takes it off and then tries unbuttoning my shorts. I help him pull them down, along with my undergarments.
He unzips his dark jeans and I jump right on top of him. His body squished up against mine and I feel him go right in me. I let out a load moan into his neck and he lets out a soft groan into mine. He slowly starts to thrust into me and I try pulling him closer with my legs, even though we're already stuck together. His hand reaches up my body and onto my breast. My back bounces on and off the wall as he starts to pick his pace. I throw my head back and take sharp breaths. He groans loudly and I feel him pick me up. I open my eyes and notice that he's taking me to my bed. He lays me down and climbs right on top of me. Immediately, he starts to thrust back into me, but faster. I pull on his hair and pull his head down, giving him a big sloppy kiss. He buries his face into my neck. "Fuck-", he groans shortly before pressing his lips against mine and pounding into me faster.
I throw my head back and grab fistful of the my bed sheets, moaning out loudly.
We come to a finish and his body falls next to mine and I turn to him. Little drops of sweat roll down his forehead. He opens his eyes and stares at me, smiling. "You're so amazing.", he says. I laugh and cuddle up close to him.
"Back at cha."
He kisses my head and runs his fingers up and down my chest.

As I wake up, I smell bacon and cheese. Weird. I sit up and look to my side, no one there. I roll out of bed and walk into the living where I hear crackling noises and pots and pans.
"Hey sleepy head!", Andy says while mixing eggs in a bowl. "You slept for a pretty long time. Thought you were dead."
I pull out a chair from the kitchen table and sit down, laying my head against my hand. "And you didn't check?"
He pours the egg mix into the pan and it sizzles. "Nah.. I decided to make breakfast. I knew the scent of food would bring you back to life."
I laugh. "You know me well."
After breakfast is ready, we sit down and start to eat. With mouthfuls of food, we eat in silence.
Andy sets his fork down and takes a sip of his orange juice. "Hey-", he says wiping his mouth. "So... I got a call from Vic."
I look up at him from my plate, confused. "Vic?"
He nods. "Yeah... While you were asleep. He called."
"And what did he say?", I say looking back down at my plate, eating.
"Well, we just started catching up. He asked about you. Told him you were doing great. Then he said that there's this thing going on..."
"Thing?"
"Yeah, like, a party."
"Party...", I mumble.
"Well- it's mostly a get together."
I nod. "Hmm.", I sip my coffee.
"He wants us to go.."
I drop my fork onto my plate and clear my throat. After I wipe my mouth I stare at him. "You can go, Andy. I'm not stopping you at all."
He sighs. "But I want you to go. With me."
Deja vou.
"Andy-"
"Look, who cares if Tony is gonna be there? You probably won't even see him."
"I don't know Andy.. These parties never have a good ending. Something always happens. Just go without me, seriously, go."
"No! I want you to go."
"Well, I'm not, sorry.", I say and shake my head.
He grabs my hands. "Please! Please! Pleaseeeee!", he whines.
I peel away from his grasp and pick my plate up to put it in the sink. "Stop! I'm not going!"
I lean against the counter and he makes his way to me.
"Just for tonight? Please?"
"Why is it so important for me to go?"
"Because I want you to go with me. I don't want to leave you here."
"I'll be fine."
He tilts his head. "Paloma."
"Andy."
He sighs and pouts his lips.
"Stop.", I say and push him. He laughs and makes his wide eyed, puppy face.
I think for a little, think about how it would be. I haven't seen Vic, or Mike, Jaime, or any of them for that matter in months. When Tony decided to end it all, it ended it all with everyone. Not only him. It's going to be really weird, thats for sure.
And what if I bump into him? What if he's with Stephanie? Which he most likely is...
Well, then, I'll be with Andy. No big deal. I can just stay with Andy and talk with Vic and Jaime and Mike and all of my old friends.
Don't let Tony stop you.
"Paloma? So will you come?"
I bite my lip. "Yes. I'll go then."
He smiles and brings me in for a hug. "Thank you! I promise it'll be fun."
"Andy...", I say as I pull away from the hug. "If anything happens.."
"Nothing. Will. Happen."
We stare at each other for a while. I give in.
"Okay. Okay."
He kisses my cheek. "Good. Now, I have to go and run some errands before everything starts. Want me to come and pick you up?"
"Um... No, no. I'll drive there. Just make sure that you're there before I am!"
He laughs and turns to get his keys from the table. "No problem!"
I walk up behind and he turns to give me one last kiss. "I'll see you later, then."
I nod and he walks out the door.

I decide to take a quick nap before all the party stuff happens. As I lay down on my bed, my phone starts to vibrate. Thinking it's just a text, I let it go. But then it keeps on vibrating. I sigh and grab it. My heart practically stops when I see who's calling.
It's Tony.
I don't answer, I can't even move my fingers.
It stops vibrating and it notifies that I have a new voice mail about a minute later. My palms start to sweat and I put in my passcode to listen to it.
"Um... Hey...", it starts off, leaving me in a sort of shock. The sound of his voice makes my heart start to beat fast. "If you deleted my number, then, it's Tony. I know you probably want nothing to do with me, but I've been trying to get the balls to call you for a long time now. I'm just gonna come right out with this. I'm sorry. I know- I know- fuck, this is stupid... I've said sorry a lot of times and I still do the same shit. I promised you that I wouldn't make you regret forgiving me that one time, and I guess that's another promise I broke." He sighs and there's silence for a couple of seconds. "But- but- I just- I don't know why! Fuck.. I don't know why I can't stop- stop thinking of you. You're literally on my fucking mind everyday. Every fucking second. You're who I think of at night before I fall asleep. I just-", he sighs. His voice is a bit shaky now. "When you get this, you don't need to call back. Or anything. There's a cool out over at my place, I don't know if you're coming. Maybe Andy invited you... If you're with him... Well- you can ignore me if you want. I understand. I lost you. I took you out of my life, and I regret it. A lot. Everything- its all my fault. All my fucking.. Fault. I'm sorry- I really fucked up. All those things we said to each other I- I-", he sighs. "Anyways.. Even though it doesn't matter, I just want you to know that I- I love you, Gabby.", and that's when it ends.
I take the phone off of my ear and slowly lay down on my bed. I drop my phone and feel tears start to roll down my face.
There's nothing to feel. There's nothing to say.
Even if I deny it, these past months, I've just been trying to forget. But it's always there, in me. No matter how hard I try, I can't push him out of my life.
No matter what I do- no matter what I say, I can't.

There's just nothing left to do now.
I have to go to this party. For one reason only too.
It's gonna hurt, a lot. But there's nothing left to do now. I've been numb these months. Andy has just been my adrenaline.
And there's nothing left now.