Outside the Rain.

Richard Buckingham stayed for dinner, but I didn't eat. I usually don't eat dinner with the family anyway, I'm never hungry enough. So, as usual, I stayed in the library and read Iliad by Homer, I had never read anything quite like it before. Honestly, I only read a few pages, and I'm not sure whether I really enjoyed it or not.

Perhaps I did, I just didn't know I did. It's hard for me to actually tell when I'm happy, family trait I suppose. In all the fifteen years I've been on this planets I've never seen my mother smile genuinely, and I've never ever seen my father flash a smile. Not even a fake smile found itself on my father's face. Maybe happiness was an impossible feeling for the Dawson family to feel. Maybe that was our curse. Every family has a curse, you know? Some families lose loved ones often, some families lack money or food, some families have the curse of too much money or too much happiness. I think my family had the curse of unhappiness and hatred. None of us were happy, not really, and Mother and Father hated each other.

It's a good thing you can't speak to tell anyone that! Mother would have you for sure, Annabella.

I lean back on the couch, I rest my head above my head. Staring up at the ceiling I'm taken back to a memory that seems much more distant than it really was...



It was an abnormally warm day, even for July, and the sun was bright. It was one of those days that seemed perfect, I didn't want it to end. I had spent a week with Eliza and her family, I was happy.

Eliza and I went out for a walk after we helped her mother with the laundry, and as we walked she revealed to me that she had a secret. Honestly, Eliza had many secrets so I wasn't surprised. She was a bit more reluctant to tell me now than usual though.

"My mom is really putting pressure on me to marry Jonathan Williams," she says lamely.

I sigh, "What's new? That's been her mission since you turned thirteen."

"I know, but for the first time I know who I want to marry."

"Is that your secret?"

She shakes her head, and she looks down at her feet as we walk instead of looking me in the eyes.

"Are you going to tell me?"

"I would like to."

"Tell me then!"

She sighs, "Do you remember Demetri Parrish?"

It took a moment to realize who she was talking about, but when I did my jaw dropped. Demetri was a painter from Paris, he was staying in the guest quarters on Eliza's parents' manor while he painted the landscape.

He was very good looking, he was the dark and brooding type of fellow. He was also, to put it mildly, quite liberal. Once, when I spent the night with Eliza we woke up and he was standing on the balcony nude. He did it every morning, and he spoke of sex often. Eliza's parents had demanded her to stay away from him so that he wouldn't 'corrupt her innocence'. As you may have guess, Eliza didn't listen. She paid him many visits in the night, I shrugged it off as a petty affair.

"Yes, I remember him."

"Annabella, we are in love. We have been for a long time, and he wants to marry me."

"Are you going to tell your parents?"

I was somewhat shocked that she would want to marry him, or even marry at all. Eliza was never the type that seemed to be interested in marriage, that was something we had in common. Or we used to anyway.

"I don't know how to tell them, they may disown me! What should I do?"

I stop walking, and I stand in front of her. I put my hands on her shoulders and look her straight into the eyes.

"Eliza, you do whatever will make you happy. It's your life, and nobody is going to live it for you. When you're old, and your hair is silver gray you are the one that will have to look back at the regrets and the successes. Not your parents, and not me."

She smiles at me, it was a wide and beautiful smile. Then, she hugs me so tight I couldn't breathe.

"Thank you so much," she says, "You're the best friend I could ever have."