A Ballad of Love and Hate

Three Months Later.

I was truly learning so much about Middle Eastern fashion. Colors represented you had money. Greys and mutual tones showed poverty. The idea of covering your body.

I had made a whole women's line that was of looser clothes that were covering and modest already. I just needed to sew and work on some formal wear.

I was so in the zone, so focused. Ryan was right, I was learning so much and doing so much. And though I continually longed for him, I was able to survive without him

We stayed true to our word, calling and face timing daily. I would lock my doors late at night and run the bathroom sink and shower so I could fool around with Ryan in secret and not be heard or caught (though I doubt andres would ever turn me in). But the virtual sex was nothing to actually having Ryan with me. Holding me. Kissing me.

I fanned my face with my hand as I thought more about Ryan.

"Are you okay, miss Noah?" Andres asked me as I sat at my sketch pad.

"Oh I'm fine, I'm just feeling a slight heat wave," I smiled.

The man who had to watch over us looked intently at us, watching my every move and every smile.

The one thing I hated about Libya. I was always being watched. Watched to see how I interacted with a married man to make sure I was not being a whore. Watched to make sure I was fully covered when I went out. Watched to make sure I wasn't breaking rules of Islam. It was getting tiring.

My phone we t off and I smiled as I saw who was calling.

"Excuse me, I must take this," I giggled a little and went to the private office.

"God, Ryan I was just thinking about you. I need you. Like now," I said roughly. Ryan laughed into the phone.

"I miss you too babe. My hand only does so much. You're much better. But hey, two weeks until I meet you in Morroco, no rules. You can be as naked as you want and I can do whatever I want with you," I could hear his grin.

"Stop turning me on," I complained.

"What you like that? You like knowing that I'm about to be the one squeezing your breasts? Licking your firm nipples?" He whispered. I groaned as I squeezed my left breast.

"Ryan, ugh," I mumbled out.

"I would have you undressed already. One hand free to linger down further and further, oh you'd be so turned on," he kept a quiet voice, I heard laughter in the background. Suddenly, the mood was lost.

"Ryan Lochte are you talking dirty to me in front of people?!" I demanded to know. I heard some commotion and Ryan sighed.

"You said you needed me!" He protested. I sat up in my chair and rolled my eyes.

"I'd be mad but it was fun for the moment. Where are you?" I asked him changing the subject

"Locker room. Long ass practice today. Dry practice followed by laps but hey-" Ryan was sharing his day when Andres burst into the room.

"Miss Noah I am sorry but we must go right now," he said in a frantic.

"Ryan, honey I'm so sorry but I have to go," I said suddenly concerned by andres action.

"Is everything okay?" He asked me. Andres was handing me a head scarf and led me to the back entrance.

"I will call you once I'm home, sweetie. Ryan, I love you okay?" I said. Feeling I needed to seriously tell him this.

"I love you too, Noah. Be safe," he said full of concern. I put my phone in my bag and quickly followed Andres through the back entrance.

"What is going on?" I asked freaking out.

"There has been a violent outbreak in the protest right near our building. A suicide bomb just right next door, we must leave," he explained panicked. I held onto my head scarf as we ran to the exit and got out to the streets.

"Noah, you cannot touch me, I'm a married man, stay very close to me," Andres explained. I nodded and ran closely behind him. We ran through the chaos. People were shooting guns and being beaten. Fires were being started.

I kept running while keeping an eye on my surroundings. Someone grabbed me and and started yelling at me.

I shook my head in panic, trying to communicate I didn't understand. He pointed at my head and kept yelling. I touched my head and realized my head covering was falling. I quickly covered my head and kept running.

I didn't know where to go, I couldn't find Andres. My heart was pounding as the violence and yelling took over. I pulled out my phone.

Who do I even call? 911? This isn't America. They don't just come for international emergencies. I could call the embassy. Yes, they would protect me.

I called the embassy and got a busy tone. I hung up and tried to find peace. A way out of the mess. My phone went off and I saw it was Ryan. I couldn't let him know I was panicked. I answered as calmly as I could, loud enough over the riot.

"Noah? Are you safe?" He asked, I could barely hear him.

"Ryan, honey I got separated from Andres, I'm trying to get out. I'm okay I promise," I yelled into my phone.

"Noah, I-"

But I couldn't hear him. I only heard another car explode and gunshots going off in the air. I dropped my phone and fell in the mess of people. My body fell to the littered streets and I felt warm liquid surround me. The noise soon surpassed as my eyes became heavy.

[ryan]

"Noah, I love you, okay? Please find a way back home and call me back," I yelled into the phone. I heard gunshots and more yelling in a language I couldn't understand.

"Noah?" I questioned back into the phone. But the chaos is all I heard.

"Noah?!" I yelled this time. But she didn't answer. Panic and distress took over my whole body.

"Ryan, are you uh okay?" Conor asked me, unsure if he was allowed to talk to me. We had yet to talk yet. I stood up from my bench in the locker room and went to the office computer to get on iCloud in Noah's name.

"Get on my phone, look for the embassy contact," I said hurriedly. Conor found the number as I located Noah's phone on the find my iPhone app.

"Uh yeah, hold on, Ryan I have the embassy," he said handing me my phone. I explained the situation to the woman, giving Noah's coordinates.

"Mr. Lochte, you're quick on your feet, were sending military and a diplomat out, I'll contact you as soon as we have her in custody," she explained. I hung up and sat at the desk.

"Noah's strong dude. You know she's okay," Conor tried to assure me. I tapped my leg waiting for the phone to ring. Coach came in looking for us.

"Any reason why you two idiots are here and not the pool?" He demanded an answer.

"Noah's been caught in some violence," I said trying to be emotionless and strong. The coach kept an emotionless face and set down his clipboard.

"Did you call the consulate?" He asked.

" yeah and gave the coordinates of her phone it's what she told me to do if I didn't hear from her," I explained, telling them the plans we made incase something went wrong.

"It's going to be okay Ryan. Noah made it through the criticism of Anna wintour, she can get through anything," Conor squeezed my shoulder.

"And they're going to find her, Ryan, look at the screen, her position moved," the coach pointed at the map and I saw her green dot move around.

I stared at my phone and waited for it to ring. They swore they would call once they had her. They swore they'd let me know she was okay.

Time was going by so slowly. I stared at my dark screen until it finally began to blare. I took a deep breath in and answered the phone.

"Mr. Lochte? We found Noah," the woman said evenly. I sighed in relief knowing that they had her.

"Is she okay? Can I talk to her?" I said, feeling more at ease that Noah was in American territory.

"Mr. Lochte, I'm so sorry to say this but Noah has been shot. The forces are with her in and taking her to see our doctors. Her condition right now is extremely critical, the woman said. It was like the world began spinning rapidly. My surroundings became blurred and my eyes began to sting.

Noah had been shot. Those words rang through my head. Extremely critical. I couldn't stand to my feet anymore. Conor caught me as I collapsed and break down. Coach took my phone and I couldn't make out what he was saying except for flight and thirteen hours. And private.

I was weeping like a small child in Conors arms. I heard others voices enter in the office but I couldn't make anything out. I just cried. Feeling numb to anything else around me.

"Ryan, you straighten your ass up right now, look at me!" My coach snapped me out of my weeping. I tried to focus on him.

"You're going to get on that fancy private plane and your going to fly to Libya. You're going to be by Noah's side in less than nine hours because you're not going through airports or layovers. You're going to land on the embassy roof and they're going to get you to Noah. Don't worry about anything else. But you need to be brave right now. Noah needs you to be brave. You fight for Noah's life for her. You fight like you do in that pool everyday only harder," my coach held onto my shoulders as everyone watched our interaction.

He pulled me into a hug as I grabbed my phone and wallet. I didn't even have a passport on me but apparently it didn't matter, they knew I was coming. I looked at Conor

"Come with me," I said to him. Without hesitation, he walked out the door with me and drove us to where the plane would be meeting us.

We got on the plane with no hesitations. The pilot was ready for take off once we were strapped in. No flight attendant, just me, Conor and the pilot, racing to Libya.

Conor suggested I sleep, that I would need it. But I couldn’t sleep without knowing if Noah was alive and well. Instead I bounced my leg impatiently and watched as we flew through the air. We were only three hours in and had about six to go.

“Let’s talk about something,” I said anxiously.

“Okay, uh, you think the Libyans will be mad at us for looking like we just came from the gym?” Conor tried to lighten the mood, pointing out we were both in t-shirts and athletic shorts.

“We’re not women, I think we get more freedom than that,” I chuckled.

“What, you don’t want to wear a head thing?” Conor asked, I laughed as he made a head turban out of his extra t-shirt.

We kept talking the whole plane ride, joking around like we use to before everything happened between us, it was nice to have my friend back.

“In all realness, Ryan, I’m sorry about my crush on Noah, I don’t know what it was. I know it’s always going to be you two,” he said. I shrugged.

“If I didn’t have Noah as my girlfriend, I’d crush on her too,” I smirked.

It was truly nice to have my best friend back.

We finally landed on the US Embassy roof. I got up and off the plane as soon as the pilot opened the door, I didn’t wait for anything or anyone to give me direction.

A woman was waiting for us on the roof. She shook my hand and led me inside of the building.

“Since you don’t have your passports, we ask you stay on US grounds, which means our embassy,” the woman, (who’s name was Lauren) explained.

“What about seeing Noah? I can’t go to the hospital?” I questioned.

“Mr. Lochte, we have Noah here. It’s not the most ideals of situations but we don’t necessarily want our citizens in the hospital here with all that’s going on. We’ve got US doctors here taking care of the situation,” she smiled at me. Conor and I followed her to the far wing of the embassy and she led us to a closed door.

“I don’t know the update on her, stand right here and wait for the doctor,” she instructed.

But I had waited long enough.

I gently moved her out of my way and swung open the door.

I fell to the side of the bed when I saw Noah lying there unconscious and wounded, I couldn’t help but lose myself and sob at her side.

God please let her be okay.