A Ballad of Love and Hate

[still Ryan]

I heard someone walk in and say my name. I turned to see the doctor standing in the doorway with a folder in hands.

“I’m Noah’s doctor, Dr. Wonsley,” he said, I wiped my eyes and shook his hand.

“Noah was shot in the chest, luckily she was not shot on the side her heart is on, this is very good news. She’s stable, Ryan, there’s no concerns I have, she’s sedated which is why she’s not awake,” he explained.

I took a deep breath. Noah was going to make it. She wasn’t in danger anymore. I stood straight and pulled it fully together now that I knew she was okay.

“Thank you,” I said to him earnestly.

“My pleasure, I will say, Ryan, I tried to call her parents who are listed but none of her family answered, are they not around?” He questioned.

“Her father might be in surgery or something, I will try and call them,” I said, angered that of course her parents wouldn’t answer the phone.

“Well she should be waking up anytime now, so if she has any questions, I’m right down the hall,” the doctor smiled and left us alone. I took Noah’s hand in mine and squeezed her hand tightly.

I wasn’t a crier. I hadn’t cried in a very long time. But not knowing that Noah was alive or not broke me. Seeing her that broken ruined me. I was able to remain strong during her eating disorder and during her control issues but seeing her near death, I couldn’t handle it.

Conor went with Lauren to work on getting Noah’s things and getting her out of the country so I was left alone with her. We didn’t have to worry about the stupid rules this country had about her and I not being married here since we were technically on US soil. It was nice to just be with her.

“I love you, baby, so much,” I said to her sleeping figure. She looked so pale. Her hair had certainly grown in the last three months. I couldn’t see her beautiful blue eyes so I pictured them in my head. She wore one of those annoying hospital gowns and I could see where she was wrapped from being shot.

My girlfriend was shot. It just kept hitting me. This innocent beautiful woman was shot because people weren’t happy with their lives. Why did nations have to be like that? Why were people so violent when they knew innocent people would pay the price?

I began getting so angry at all the people that just couldn’t stop the violence. I felt Noah’s hand move in my own and she made a groaning noise through her reddened lips.

“Noah, sweetheart,” I said in a light whisper.

“Ouch,” she croaked out in pain and squeezed her eyes tightly shut.

“Hey, hey it’s okay, I’m here, Noah, I’m here,” I said, running my fingers through her hair. I saw tears come from her eyes as she fluttered them open. Her eyes were a grey color and bloodshot. She looked at me surprised.

"Ryan? Why are you? How are you here?" She asked in a raspy voice. I kissed her forehead.

"Like I wouldn't come to the rescue of the woman I love even when she's miles away," I smiled. Noah smiled crookedly and looked at me.

"Ryan, you're amazing. I love you. And this, you coming out here, Ryan you're amazing," she smiled, moving her hands to my face.

"And now the doctor is going to check you out and baby, you're coming home," I told her hesitantly expecting a fight. Noah just nodded.

"I've learned so much here but I think after being shot and seeing you, I'm ready to home,"she assured me.

The doctor came in and examined Noah. I stayed by her side as he examined just above her breast where she was shot, making me uncomfortable that another man was touching her but I eased down as she gave me the look that she was not at all aroused.

"Well your wound is healing really nicely. I was able to get all of the bullet out which is good. I want you to do some physical therapy back in the states and I want you to rest. That's important. Nothing physically demanding and I want you to take some time off work," he explained.

"So by physical do you mean that I can't even, well, get physical?" Noah asked awkwardly the doctor chuckled at her discomfort.

“I want you to wait a few days for that,” the doctor said. I gave Noah’s hand a reassuring squeeze, not having problem she needed time to heal.

“Lauren will come in to talk travel plans with you, I think you’re in good shape to fly home in the next day, especially since you’re on a private plane,” the doctor smiled and wished us well.

I was about to talk to Noah about the last 24 hours when Lauren came in.

“Noah, Ryan, it’s great to see you guys not in panic or bleeding. Noah, we do apologize that you got caught inbetween the ceasefire, we do want to get you out of here ASAP,” she said quickly.

“Can I get my designs? See Andres?” Noah asked.

“We were given your designs and belongings. Sadly, we don’t want you to leave the embassy so you won’t be able to see him but he did leave you a note,” Lauren handed Noah a note and she allowed me to read along with her.

Miss Noah,

I am pained that you were caught in the anger of this country but I am thanking Allah you are alive and well. You are a caring girl with caring designs, I am baffled by your designs and hope you learned many things, continue to design, to travel, and to grow.

-Andres

“He is such as great guy,” Noah smiled.

Noah wrote him a note back before letting Noah continue on.

“Alright, so, you three are in the clear to leave tomorrow, Noah, you are to see a doctor right away when you get back. You’ll leave at 8am,” Lauren said.

I was so surprised that they were letting her leave so quickly but they truly wanted her out as soon as possible.

“Three? Who else is coming?” Noah asked.

“Oh, yeah, Conor is here,” I cleared my throat and explained. Noah’s eyes grew wide and she smiled.

“You two are back?” She asked. I shrugged.

“Something like that, I guess,” I smiled.

“So are we to just sit in the embassy until 8am tomorrow?” I asked, looking to Lauren for more answers.

“Yes, basically, you can find accommodations here, Noah, we’d like to monitor you up until 8 tomorrow so you will just stay put,” Lauren explained.

“Great, than Conor and I will also stay here,” I spoke up. Lauren nodded before walking out of the room.

“So, I was shot, went under surgery, and you and Conor are friends again, what else did I miss in the last twenty four hours?” Noah laughed. I looked at her and smiled.

“You missed me freaking out, Noah, it hit me so hard when I didn’t know what was wrong with you that I don’t want to live without you,” I said seriously. Noah sat up a little bit, wincing a little and held onto my face.

“Ryan, you don’t have to know what that’s like, I promise you,” she looked into my eyes as I stared into hers and she planted a firm kiss on my lips, causing my heart to skip a beat.

“Noah, the only way I can be promised forever with you is in an extreme way and I know we just got back together but these last three months and the last day, it’s just hit me more, we have been together for years, gone through hell and back and matured all at once, so I’m asking you to take a leap with me, take this leap and marry me,” I said to her.

I searched her eyes for answers. Her eyes were wide and her face showed little to no expression.

“Ryan, of course, yes, yes I’ll marry you,” she smiled, tearing up a little bit.

The ring awaited in my room in Gainesville. The same ring I had from years ago for when I came home from Beijing. I carefully pulled Noah into my arms as I held her firmly.

We were going to be okay.

[Noah]

Everything became a blur. I was back in America, checked out by the doctor and told to rest. I was wearing a beautiful two carat round cut diamond from Tiffany’s on my left hand.

I was engaged to marry Ryan Lochte. The man of my dreams. The man who I fell in love with so long ago. The very man who painfully hurt me four years. And yet, the man who found his way back into my heart. And so quickly.

Ryan wanted to get married right away. I wanted to wait, sort things out.

I told Lily the moment I got in about Ryan proposing, and while she was happy, she was worried about the same things I was worried about.

I would have to leave New York and move to Gainesville.

I would have to get use to Ryan’s hectic swimming schedule once again.

Was I happy to be engaged? Absolutely. There was no doubt that I wanted to marry Ryan. There was just doubt about how fast everything was moving, how much was going to have to change and how much was already changing.

I sat at my computer in Ryan’s house, taking the doctor’s orders seriously, sitting here and resting but at the same time, trying to busy my mind.

I sent e-mails to everyone I worked with and worked for. I had my sketchbook open to a page where I doodled ideas for a wedding dress.

I was in my world of distraction when I heard the doorbell ring.

I slowly got up from my seat, rubbing the fresh wound from the shooting to ease the pain as I went down to answer the door.

I slowly opened it and looked up at the guest. There she stood, greying blonde hair placed perfectly on her head. Her blue eyes now greyed, staring at me harshly with her lips pursed. She clutched onto her handbag like her life depended on it.

“Hello, Noah,” she said evenly.

“Mom,” I breathed out.