Can You Save Me From Myself.

“I will ask one more time, I am what?” I said very quietly trying to keep my anger in.

“You are about 3 months pregnant.” The female nurse looks so scared to be anywhere near me.

“Im pregnant?”

“Yes, Im sorry I thought you knew.” I wave the nurse off and lay in the hospital bed thinking.

Im pregnant.

Im gonna have a child.

Im carrying Brian’s child inside of me.

This baby inside of me was made by mine and Brian’s love for each other.

I smile slightly picturing a little baby with chubby cheeks, Brian’s chocolate brown eyes and soft brown hair. It would be a prefect baby with the cutest little button nose. I would have a boy and he would look just like his father just with my nose.

I rest a hand on my baby bump I just noticed was there. I felt someone’s rough hand over mine. I see the letters B.O.R.O. tatted on the knuckles. I thread my fingers through Brian’s and lay out conjoined hands on my stomach.

Shit man, I almost died, been in a coma for 2 weeks, found out the man I always wanted to be my father but now I hate is my real father, I found out who my real mother is, got engaged and found out I was pregnant. This was a crazy 2 weeks.



I sighed in relief once Brian unlocked our front door. I walk in with a hand on my 4 month baby bump.

I was just released from the hospital. They kept me in there for almost 2 months to make sure me and the baby were ok. I knew the real reason, I was on suicide watch. I wanted to flip out on every person who walked into my room with a clip board but I held it in and finally I was allowed home.

Brian makes me sit on the couch while he brought our bags in. yes I said ours, Brian has not left my side since I was admitted into the hospital. Momma would bring him clothes until she got fed up and pack his suitcase and another one for me. I walk up the stairs and into our bathroom. I bent down and got out my tampons. I threw out the box knowing if I didn’t get rid of them now I would forget that they went bad when I get my next period in about 5 months or more.

5 months and my baby would grace us with his presents.

Brian thinks im having a girl but im dead set on thinking of my child as a boy.

I gasped when I felt the baby move.

“Brian!” I screamed at him with my hands on my stomach and tears flowing down my cheeks.

I hear Brian’s and two other pair of running footsteps.

I look up shocked when Brian crashes into the bathroom door almost breaking it.

“What the fuck, Brian?!”

“Don’t what the fuck me, what’s wrong? Why are you crying? Are you and the baby ok?”

I smile and walk towards him. I grab his tattooed hands and place them over my fluttering baby.

“Holy shit, is that the baby?” I nod my head and smile. Brian looks down at my stomach amazed. He joins our hands together on my stomach.

“This is all sweet and all but Alexa are you and the baby ok?”

I nod my head at Matt’s question before looking at the beautiful red head woman standing next to him. She has some small tats here and there. She smiles at me and im pretty shocked to see we are about the same size 5’.

“Hi, im Rose.” I let go one of Brian’s hands and introduced myself to Rose and shook her hand.



A couple of hours later, the house is full of people.

Johnny is making out with his new girlfriend Jordan.

I like Jordan a lot. I met her when I was in the hospital. She was really nice and talked to me about music, my pregnancy and anything else we had in common. I could see myself being great friends with her.

I look over at Zacky to see him flirting with my cousin Megan. Well Megs isn’t my blood cousin but we grew up next door to each other. I was really shocked when Brian told me that he brought her a plane ticket down here.

“Baby!”

I look to my left to see a whirlwind of bright red hair. I squeal when I see my best friend of all time.

“Deni!”

We wrap each other up tightly in a hug. I start crying see Deni again. I missed my crazy best friend.

“I see you got knocked up.” I laugh loudly; yea she is still the same.

“I see you got more tattoos.” I said pointing to the ones on her fingers.

“Hey they are awesome.” She places her hands on her waist and cocks her hip. I mock her stance.

“Hey Brian is awesome.” I could see she was trying not to laugh but it didn’t work. We both fall to the floor on own knees laughing.

“I missed you, baby.” I snuggle into my best friends arms and hug myself to her.

“I missed you too Deni.”

“Hey no more tears. I have some good news.” I look up at my best friends grayish blue eyes waiting for her to finish. “I got a job offer and im moving to California!”

We squeal together and people who don’t know us stare at us.

“What the fuck are all of you idiots looking at?” I watch at the outdoor light bounce off of her snake bites.

“Damn sexy, you have some fire in you. I like it.” I laugh when Deni almost breaks her neck to look at Jacoby Shaddix. I stand up with the help of Tobin Esperance, the bassist of Papa Roach. I smile my thanks before pushing my star strucked best friend into Jacoby arms. He winks at me and walks away with my best friend.

“So why is a pretty girl like you all alone?” I smile when I heard that velvety voice I fell in love with reached my ears.

I look behind me to see Brian shirtless with a beer in hand. I kissed him lightly on the lips and lean on his chest. Brian wraps one of his monster tatted arm around my shoulders pulling me into his embrace. I feel him kiss my head and I in return kiss right over his blueblood tattoo.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Kitten.”

I look out to the crowd in my backyard and watch as Matt and Zacky throw Johnny into the pool. I shake my head at their childish antics.

I have known them almost 2 years now and they will never grow up. Im just glad I got the most mature one out of the band.