Wild Child: Love Cannot Save You Part 1

Summer was slowly but surely coming to an end, and this had without a doubt been the best summer of Caroline’s life. She and Jim were almost inseparable, and her relationship with Phil was the best that it had ever been. The subject of Jim leaving Alexandria had never come up again, and Caroline had pushed it out of her mind completely. At that moment, life was about as great as it could get.

As Caroline stepped out of the shower, breathing in the humid air, she grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her body. Humming a tune that was presently stuck in her head, she dried herself off, and glanced at her reflection. The girl that stared back at her looked so incredibly happy that she barely recognized herself.

As she lay on her bed, picking up a copy of The Dharma Bums, Caroline heard the familiar sound of a rock hitting the window. Alarmed, she glanced at the clock on her wall. It was almost one in the morning. What on earth was Jim doing here so late?

Thankfully, her parents were still out, and Phil was spending the night at Jeff’s, so she didn’t have to be quiet about letting him in the house. But that didn’t make the fact that he was there so late any less bizarre.

“What on earth are you-“ she started, but was cut off as Jim pulled her to him, kissing her passionately.

“Wow,” she breathed, when he finally pulled away, “hello to you too.”

“Is anyone home?” he asked, fidgeting uncharacteristically. If Caroline didn’t know any better she would have said he was nervous.

“No,” she said, “it’s just me. But-“

“Good,” he cut her off, “let’s go up to your room.”

“Um, Jim,” she said, “not that I exactly want to stay here in the foyer, but are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” he said, looking down at his shoes, “can we just go to your room please?”

“Okay,” said Caroline, slightly taken aback, “sure.”

Once they reached her bedroom, Caroline turned to Jim.

“Okay,” she started, “now do you want to tell me why you’re acting so-“

But he cut her off again, pressing his lips to hers, hard, and pushing her back onto the bed. She kissed him back for a while, caught up in the passion. But she pulled back when she noticed that something was off.

“Jim,” she asked, just noticing the strong scent of liquor on him, “are you drunk?”

“Maybe,” he laughed, “I don’t know…yeah, probably.”

“Okay,” she said, “not that I’m not really, really into this. But would you mind telling me why you showed up at my house at one in the morning, drunk and-”

“I just wanted to spend some time with you,” he interrupted.

“Jim,” she said, pushing him off, “you’re acting really strange. Like, stranger than usual. What’s going on?”

“I love you, Caroline, you know that right?”

“Jim!” she snapped, then softened her tone as he met her gaze, “why are you really here? What’s going on?”

She looked at him, really looked at him. She looked past his intense stare, and full lips, set in a hard, almost determined line, and saw that he was hurting.

“Jim,” she said softly, “why do you always have to wear a mask?”

And then, before she knew what was happening, Jim suddenly burst into tears and fell onto her lap, sobbing hysterically.

Caroline didn’t know what to do. Jim, who she had never seen so much as shed a tear, was laying there in hysterics. She wanted to help him, she desperately did, but she didn’t know how. Jim had always been the strong one, the confident one. She could only sit there as he lay sobbing.

“Don’t you know,” said Jim, finally, “I did it all for you?”

“Jim,” said Caroline, her voice wavering, “you’re drunk. Please just go home. We can talk about this tomorrow-“

“But we can’t talk about it tomorrow,” he said, “I’m moving to Florida!”

“What?” Caroline pulled back, her eyes widening.

“Tomorrow,” Jim went on, “I’ll be gone for good.”

Caroline was stunned. She studied Jim’s face, trying to see if this was one of his jokes, but there was no little smirk, no twinkle in his eyes…it seemed that he was completely serious.

“And,” said Caroline, trying her hardest to keep her voice leveled, “when were you planning on telling me this?”

“I’m telling you now, aren’t I?”

“What-“ she fumbled for the right words, but couldn’t find them, so settled on,

“Why?”

“For school,” he said, “my parents want me to go to junior college down there and live with my grandparents. I tried to tell them I didn’t want to, but they wouldn’t take no for an answer.”

“So,” said Caroline, slowly, “you’re leaving. Tomorrow. For good.”

“Yes,” said Jim.

There was a long silence. It might have lasted an eternity. The lights in her room seemed brighter than ever before as Caroline fought back the tears that were threatening to spill from her eyes. She couldn’t let Jim see her cry. She just couldn’t! Yes, he had just broken her heart into a million pieces, but she refused to appear weak in front of him.

“Get out,” she said, finally, in a cold voice that she barely recognized.

“I love you!” He confessed, pleading with his eyes.

It took all of Caroline’s willpower not to give in to him. She wanted so desperately to fall into his arms, spend one last night with him before he…

But she couldn’t. That would just make it even harder when he had to go. And so she looked back at him, her eyes filled with hot tears, and said, “just go. Please.”

“Tell me you don’t love me,” said Jim. “Tell me you don’t love me and I’ll walk out this door right now and never come back.”

“I-“ said Caroline, her voice threatening to break, just as her heart was, “I don’t love you.”

He studied her for a long time, as she put up her best front, and then, after what seemed like ages, he turned and walked out the door without another word.

As she heard the front door slam, Caroline let out the most anguished, tortured sob that she ever had in her entire life. She didn’t want this to be real. She wanted desperately to wake up, and find that it was all just a dream. But it was not a dream. If it were, she would not have been feeling this raw pain, this horrible sinking sensation as she felt her heart shatter.

She watched, through a haze of tears, as Jim stood under her window, looking up as if he knew what she was feeling. For a long time, he stood there, and she sat, looking back at him, unable to stop the horrible sobs that were escaping her throat.

Then, after what felt like a million years, Jim turned and walked away.

Caroline pressed a shaking hand up against the window as she watched the dark figure get into his car. Heavy sobs shook her entire body as she heard the distant sound of a slamming door, and a starting engine. And then, she felt the horrible pain, as if someone were reaching into her chest and tearing her heart into pieces one by one, as she watched Jim Morrison drive off into the night, wondering if she would ever see him again.