Wild Child: Love Cannot Save You Part 1

It was late afternoon, and Phil was currently out with some of his friends. Caroline sat on her bed, staring absentmindedly at her wall. Today was just one of those days where nothing much seemed to be happening.

She had woken up after noon, and taken a long shower before getting back into bed and settling down with one of her favorite poetry books. While it was nice to relax, Caroline was not a fan of boredom and found herself itching for something to do.

It was mid April, and as the flowers were beginning to bloom, so were Caroline’s feelings for Jim. He seemed to have a place in her heart that no one else had access to. She took notice of the little things he did, and remembered the little things he said. She wasn’t quite sure what the tornado of emotions that she was experiencing meant, but she knew that she had never felt anything like it before.

Of course, their relationship had to be kept more or less secret. That is, those around them were under the impression that whatever was going on between them was a strictly platonic boyfriend-girlfriend type thing.

However, the two never went out on actual dates, nor did they ever make appearances at the frat parties that were so popular with their classmates. In fact, they pretty much kept to themselves, going on night time excursions downtown, or to D.C to see the negro musicians play, or even to book stores or the Alexandria public library.

She had met his family briefly, when she had come over one day. He never talked about them much, which was perfectly normal. She knew the basics; he had two younger siblings, Andy, who was twelve and Anne, who was thirteen. Jim seemed as close to them as could be expected with such a large age difference. His mother seemed normal as far as mothers went, and his father wasn’t around much, being an admiral in the Navy and all.

Jim of course, knew Phil fairly well but he had yet to exchange more than a polite greeting with her parents. All in all, the two of them did a fairly good job at keeping to themselves. But Caroline felt strange keeping something like this from Phil. Normally she told him everything. And this, her first relationship, was something she’d always thought she’d be able to share with him.

Yet, as much as Caroline wanted to confide in her brother, she knew that it was best that she didn’t. Phil would only worry if he knew what was going on, and judging from his previous comments, he certainly wouldn’t approve. No, whatever was going on with Jim and Caroline was far better kept between the two of them.

The sound of a rock hitting the window brought her out of her thoughts, and she knew who it was without even looking. This had become somewhat of a routine. Jim would throw a rock to get her attention, rather than ring the doorbell and alert her parents that he was there.

Of course, Caroline thought, he could very well just like throwing rocks. It was something he did quite often, when not at her window then at some poor unsuspecting person’s head. But the reason why he did it didn’t really matter. What mattered was that Jim could come by whenever he wanted, and Caroline’s parents were none the wiser.

It was rare that he came by during the day though, and even more rare that she had the house to herself. So, when she opened the door and invited him up to her room, the look of surprise on Jim’s face was not an unnatural response.

“I have the house to myself for the day,” Caroline explained as she shut the door behind him.

He nodded, remaining silent as they made their way up the stairs. It wasn’t until they entered her room that Caroline became self-conscious.

Jim had never seen her room before and she couldn’t help but feel like he was judging it. It wasn’t exactly the most unique place to live-not like his basement area with its dark vibe and incredible decorations. Her room had artwork on the walls, but it was not her own. A small radio stood in the corner, but most of the space was taken up by bookshelves, and it was of these that Caroline was most proud.

The books that sat on display were her most prized possessions, and even as she watched Jim scan the titles, she knew that he was impressed.

“Nice place,” he finally spoke, leaning awkwardly against the wall.

“Thanks,” Caroline nodded, unsure of what to do.

When she had invited him up to her room, she hadn’t thought about what would happen once he was actually in her room. No boy had ever been in her room before, unless she counted Phil, which of course she did not. This was new, and she wasn’t okay with the discomfort she was experiencing.

This was ridiculous, she thought. There was no reason why Jim shouldn’t be able to come up to her room. After all it wasn’t as if they had never kissed or anything.

“You can sit down if you want,” she offered, in an attempt to make up for the pitiful shyness that seemed to have overcome her.

“Thanks,” he said, joining her on the bed.

“So, um,” she began, “what did you come over for?”

“Oh!” he seemed to remember something as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper.

“Here,” he said, handing it to her, “I just finished it this morning.”

Caroline gasped as she unfolded the paper. He had drawn a magnificent picture of a girl in bright clothing. Her face was radiant and her hair as red as the flames that surrounded her. Her arms were outstretched, and she looked as though she were dancing. Other figures stood in the background, dull and grey, she could barely make out their features. In Caroline’s eyes this was a masterpiece.

“Is this…me?”

“That’s how I see you,” Jim nodded, not taking his eyes off her.

Caroline, unable to find the words to express what she was feeling, reached over and pulled him into a kiss so passionate that they were both taken by surprise. But the initial shock wore off fairly quickly, and before she knew it, she was caught in a riptide.

When things started to go further, she did not object. In fact, she encouraged it. Caroline had never been so drawn to someone in her entire life. She would let Jim do absolutely anything. She kept telling herself that she wanted this. And yet, while she was intrigued, she was also terribly afraid.
Curiosity kept her going, but in the end, it was her heart that silenced her mind’s worries and doubts. If she was going to do this with anyone, she was glad it was Jim. He was everything to her, and being with him just felt right.