Wild Child: Love Cannot Save You Part 1

When Caroline woke the next morning, she wondered if it had all been a dream. Bare skin against bare skin, no clothing to act as a barrier between them. A flash of sharp, stabbing pain. Jim’s soft, caressing whisper, ensuring her that it was alright. None of that could have been real, could it?

But when she turned over and glimpsed the blood that stained her white sheets, she realized that it had all been very real. Immediately, hot shame flooded her entire being as it sunk in that she, Caroline Andrews, only fifteen years old, was no longer a virgin.

She sat up and stared at her reflection, examining herself, taking in every tiny detail. She looked exactly the same as she had the day before. Same red waves, which were quickly becoming too long for her parents liking. Same freckled nose, and full lips. But the eyes that stared back at her were now filled with worry and doubt, confusion and fear.

Caroline had aspired to rebel against the mainstream for years. She had made it her goal to stand out from the crowd. But she never wanted to be thought of as…fast. She had seen, back in New York, how girls of that reputation were treated. Girls who were older than she was. How would people here, in Virginia, react once they found out that she…she shuddered at the thought.

Caroline began to panic as a horrible thought occurred to her- what if she was pregnant? That would be an absolute disaster. Her life as she knew it would be over.

And her parents, what would they say? God, she wouldn’t be allowed to leave the house for the rest of her life! And…oh god, what would Phil do? If he found out, she wouldn’t be allowed to so much as look at Jim ever again.

Jim…her heart skipped a beat as she thought of him. His intense gaze, the way his lips formed an almost pout when he was deep in thought. His boyish grin and intellect that put even the most brilliant people to shame.

It had been his first time as well. They had crossed that line together, and that had made them even closer. She had given him something that she could never give anyone else, and he had given her the same.

“Car?” There was a soft knock as Phil called from the other side of the door. “Can I come in?”

“Uhh…” she shook her head, attempting to rid herself of all the thoughts and worries that plagued her, “yeah, just a second.”

The door slowly opened, as Caroline slid her blanket up to cover her red stained sheets.

“Morning,” her brother grinned, ruffling her hair as he sat down on the bed next to her.

“Morning,” she said, in the most care-free tone she could manage.

“What’s wrong?”

Damnit! She should have known that she couldn’t hide anything from her brother.

“Nothing,” she lied unconvincingly, “I’m fine.”

“Caroline please don’t lie to me,” said Phil, his brow furrowed with concern, “I’m your brother. You know you can’t fool me.”

“No,” she mumbled, “but I can try.”

“Car,” he pleaded, “I know something’s bugging you. You always come to me with your problems. Why do you think you can’t talk to me all of a sudden?”

“Maybe,” she said, “I just want to try solving this one on my own. I’m fifteen you know, Phil, I can’t let other people work out my problems forever.”

“Caroline,” he said, “you expect me to believe that over the past few months you’ve learned everything there is to know about-“

“Don’t!” she cried, slamming her hand over her blanket as he began to fidget with it.

“What’s the matter with you?” Phil asked, studying his sister with worried eyes. “You’re acting really strange. Like…” he paused, worry turning to suspicion, “like you have something to hide.”

“What?” she scoffed, “don’t be ridiculous, I don’t have anything-“

“What’s this?”

Oh god, oh god, oh god! He’d seen the blood! What was she going to tell him?

“I, uh…I had a nose bleed last night. It’s nothing, truly.”

“You’re lying, Caroline.”

“I’m not lying!” she cried, her eyes filling, “why are you accusing me like this?”

“Car,” Phil said, his tone softening, “please just talk to me.”

And she did. Letting out a massive sob, Caroline collapsed into her brother’s arms and told him everything.
___________________________________________________________________________________

The air was filled with tension. Other than Phil’s initial explosion when she’d first broken the news to him, no one had said a word for a long time after Caroline had finished speaking. Until finally, she broke the silence.

“What’s going to happen to me?”

Her brother didn’t respond right away, and for one horrible moment it seemed as though he wasn’t going to answer her at all.

“Caroline,” he began, his face stony and hard. There was a pause, and he let out a long sigh. “I don’t know what’s going to happen. But we’ll worry about dealing with the consequences if or when they actually happen, alright?”

“Do you think I’m fast?”

There was an uncomfortable pause.

“No, I don’t think you’re fast,” Phil finally answered.

“You don’t?” Caroline’s eyes widened.

“No,” he said.

“But I-I mean,” she fumbled for the right words, “I’m so young. I heard the way people talked about girls a lot older than me, and that was back in New York. Imagine what people here would say if they found out! And I just…everyone says it’s so wrong but-“

“It doesn’t have to be wrong, Car,” Phil interrupted, “why would you say that?”

“Because…well because-“

“Because everyone says it is?” Phil offered.

“Yes,” she admitted, sheepishly.

“Listen, Caroline,” he said, “I know you. I know how much you value freedom and what it means to you to stand up for something. So what if all our lives we’ve been taught that it’s wrong? When two people are so obviously in love then nothing should be able to ruin that.”

“Wait,” said Caroline, her brows raised, “so you’re not going to tell mom and dad?”

“No,” said Phil, managing a small smile, “I’m not going to tell mom and dad.”

“Oh!” She cried, throwing her arms around him, “thank you, thank you, thank you! You’re the best brother in the whole world! You really are!”

“And don’t you forget it,” Phil laughed, ruffling his sister’s hair once more.

“I love you, Phil,” she grinned.

“Love you too, Car.”

It wasn’t until he had left the room that his words fully hit her. Love? What did he mean she was obviously in love with Jim? Was she? Was that what this was? The way her heart did little summersaults every time she saw him, or said his name? The way she cared for him, and missed him before he’d even gone? Could she really be in love?

She was. It hit her like a bolt of lightning. Caroline was really, truly in love. And, at least to her, that made everything okay.